S1 Ep12: #TeamLucifer

7 August 2021 / 16 August 2021 by Victoria

(A frightened, blindfolded woman lays on an alter, hands tied and crying. Men are chanting. A man in a robe is standing above her with outstretched arms is saying an incantation in Latin.)

Man: Colligitur hoc sacrificare adulescentulam virginem magna atque magnifica. Lucifer!

(The man stabs the woman in the chest with a dagger, she screams then goes silent. Another man in a robe picks up the woman’s limp body and takes her to another room and lays her on a large cushion on the floor.)

(The man gently touches her body and her face. Still blindfolded, she smiles.)

Woman: That… was hot.

Man: Let’s make it even hotter for the real Lucifer.

Woman: “Real Lucifer”?

Man: Trust me. (He walks away)

(From a slight distance there is a metallic clang and gasps)

Woman: Baby? Come on, this isn’t funny!

(The woman struggles and gets her blindfold off. She looks up and screams in terror. A knife is plunged into her chest and she goes silent.)

(Lucifer sits in a chair in his red silk robe and pajamas with his back towards the open wall to the balcony. Maze throws a knife at his chest and it bounces off.)

Maze: Well?

Lucifer: No. Not a scratch. Right, well, that rules out iron. Try the copper. (He leans down just a Maze throws another blade that misses him and flies out over the balcony.)

Maze: Oops. You know exactly what’s causing your vulnerability. Chloe Decker is the one I should be throwing knives at. Who knows what she’s hiding.

Lucifer: Yes, she seems to be the one thing that can hurt me, but there may be other things as well. The detective may simply be a cog in a bigger machine. This is called being thorough.

Maze: More like denial. Because if you really thought that I could hurt you with these, you wouldn’t let me throw them at you. (She hurls one of her Demon blades at him which he catches in mid-air before it strikes him.)

Lucifer: Very funny. Demon daggers forged in Hell don’t count. We all know those prick. And speaking of, how’s my brother?

Maze: Three weeks of a whole lot of this? How do you think he’s doing?

Lucifer: You’re not going steady, Maze. You’re getting close to him for a reason. Don’t forget it.

Maze: I haven’t. And I don’t think Amenadiel is the one weaponizing Chloe.

Lucifer: You don’t think? Game’s too dangerous to be guessing. I think it’s time to send my brother back to high Heaven. Forcibly, if necessary.

Lucifer: (Lucifer goes to walk up the steps to his bedroom when his foot hits and is bruised by one of the steps. He shouts, grunting, laughing) See, there is something else. It seems Italian marble is also a threat, so…

(Elevator doors opening and Chloe emerges. Maze looks at Lucifer as if to say, ‘I told you so.’)

Lucifer: Oh. Detective? What a surprise.

Chloe: Where have you been?

Lucifer: Ah, you know me… busy, busy. No rest for the wicked.

Chloe: Right. ‘Cause deviant foreplay is so time-consuming.

Maze: Want to watch?

Chloe: I’ve been calling you for three weeks. Why are you avoiding me?

Lucifer: Well, I do have a business to run, Detective. I can’t play Good Cop/Handsome Devil Cop all the time.

Chloe: I’ve got a case that I can’t do without you.

Lucifer: (Happy to hear this) Really? (Then stammers) What’s so special about it?

Chloe: You just have to see for yourself.

Lucifer: Right.

(sirens wailing. protestors chanting. Lucifer, looking a little fearful, is walking a few paces behind Chloe listening to her give him the case details.)

Chloe: We don’t know a lot yet, but we found the victim’s purse in a Dumpster behind the theater. Her name’s Rose Davis. She’s 19 and… What are you doing back there?

Lucifer: Just listening to your boring facts. She’s a freshman at Pasadena City College, lives in Arca…

Lucifer: Yeah, excuse me, Detective, I’m not hearing any reasons to why you need me on this case.

Chloe: I don’t know how you can hear anything… you’re standing five feet away from me. Get over here.

Lucifer: You sound phlegmy. I don’t want to get sick.

Chloe: Really? Let’s go.

Protestors: (chanting) Satan is here, but God is near! Satan is here, but God is near! Satan is here…

Preacher Williams: (He sees Lucifer and recognizes him from their earlier encounter on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.) You. Evil is here. Evil is here.

Protestors: (chanting) Satan is here, but God is near!

Chloe: Friend of yours?

Protestors: (chanting) Satan is here, but God is near!

Lucifer: (He looks but does not seem to recognize the preacher.) I meet a lot of people.

Protestors: (chanting) Satan is here, but God…

(Police officers are milling around. On the stage lies a body covered by a sheet. Lucifer and Chloe approach the body and officers.)

(camera shutter clicking)

Chloe: Take the sheet off.

(We now see the woman from earlier)

Lucifer: Oh, well. That is unfortunate. But I still don’t understand why you need me on this case.

Chloe: Roll her over. That’s why.

(We see her words have been carved into her back a knife. camera shutter clicking)

Lucifer: “Hail Lucifer”?

Lucifer: This is sickening.

Chloe: I know. It’s horrific.

Lucifer: (angrily) No, I mean, to blame it on me. It’s an atrocity. These Satanists. Misguided cult nob heads with Frisbees in their earlobes. This poor girl’s death has nothing to do with me, Detective.

Preacher Williams: (He has gotten into the theater and with religious fervor is yelling as he moves down the aisle toward the stage where Lucifer is standing.) This is your doing! This is your fault! You, what are you doing in here?

Preacher Williams: You’re the Devil! You’re the King of All Evil! You’re the King of All Lies! You must be destroyed!

Malcolm: (Grabbing the preacher and pushing him backward) I’m gonna give you what for if you don’t get out of my crime scene, pal.

Chloe: Who let this guy through?

Preacher Williams: (Officers remove him from the scene as he continues to scream.) He’s the Devil! I’ll rise again against you!

Malcolm: (Steps up onto the stage and addresses Lucifer) No thanks necessary. Just wanted to do my part for the man of the hour. (he winks at Lucifer)

Lucifer: It’s the wink with the p0rn ‘stache sending the wrong message, I think.

Malcolm: (laughs)

Chloe: Do you two know each other?

Malcolm: Nope, just heard a lot about this guy. All bad, of course. (sticks out his hand for Lucifer to shake) Detective Malcolm Graham. (As they shake hands he leans in and whispers) I wasn’t gonna tell her we’re already buddies. You know, me trying to kill you, the whole magic coin thing. TMI… am I right?

Lucifer: I’d like you to stop touching me now.

Malcolm: (laughs) Ah, you’re hilarious. We should get a drink sometime. Yeah, maybe play some pool, huh?

(Dan has arrived and is trying to talk to Chloe)

Dan: Hey, Chloe? If, uh, if we could talk soon, some stuff went down with Malcolm. I mean, I know now’s a bad time…

Chloe: (curtly) Yeah, it is. This bruising here around the stab wounds.

Dan: Hilt marks maybe.

Chloe: And these. There’s subdermal implants. They don’t look fresh. I don’t know what they are. Symbols? Designs maybe?

Dan: Well, not a lot of places do that kind of body modification. Malcolm and I will try to find who put them in.

Chloe: All right. He (referring to Lucifer) and I have to meet Rose’s father at her apartment.

Lucifer: Right, where is that exactly?

Chloe: Uh, 1625 Lynrose.

Lucifer: Right, I’ll see you there. (He walks away)

Chloe: What? What-what are you doing?

Lucifer: I’m gonna take my own ride. You’re a wretched driver.

Chloe: Since when?

(Chloe and Lucifer look around as the girls’ father talks with them.)

Chloe: I’m so sorry for your loss. Were you close with your daughter?

Mr. Davis: Yes. Well, we were when she was little, but you know, single father with a teenage daughter…

Lucifer: Yes, I’m quite familiar with the absentee father excuses.

Chloe: Can you tell us why Rose marred herself recently with subdermal implants?

Mr. Davis: What? That doesn’t sound like Rosie.

Chloe: This bookshelf’s been moved a lot. (hinges creaking as Chloe moves the bookshelf to reveal a hidden stairway.)

Lucifer: Oh, lovely. Very mid-century rapist. (yells upstairs) Hello, bad guys?

(Chloe draws her gun and begins up the stairs with Lucifer and the father following.)

Mr. Davis: What is this place?

Lucifer: It’s a creepy, secret evil room.

Chloe: You didn’t know about this?

Mr. Davis: No.

Chloe: What’s this? It’s a chicken. Or what’s left of it.

Lucifer: If that’s supposed to be an offering for me, then I decline on grounds of salmonella.

Mr. Davis: This picture, th… this isn’t Rose.

Chloe: Mr. Davis, I’m so sorry. But maybe this wasn’t a random attack. Maybe your daughter was involved with whoever killed her.

Lucifer: (Holding an enormous man’s boot) It’s a large man by the looks of it, who’s, uh, not a fan of bathing.

Mr. Davis: This is crazy. I mean, even if she was into this stupid Devil thing, she wouldn’t have sacrificed herself.

Lucifer: Yes, but sometimes the people closest to you can turn on you. Wouldn’t you agree, Detective? (Lucifer is still worried Chloe might be used to kill him.)

Chloe: Maybe. “For my Corazon. Love, Rose.” “Corazon” is Spanish for heart. Could be a term of endearment. Could be a name.

Mr. Davis: I should’ve reached out. Called more. I thought I knew her.

Lucifer: Oh, yes, I know exactly how you feel.

Chloe: (phone rings) Decker.

Dan: (Calling from the precinct, a tattoo artist stands near him) We called around, found the girl that gave Rose her subdermal. Said she, uh, came in a couple weeks ago with a guy. Weird guy, apparently, with a weird name, too, but she can’t remember it.

Chloe: Ask if the name’s Corazon.

Dan: Hey. Was the guy’s name Corazon?

Woman: Yeah, that’s it. Uh, jet black hair, lots of piercings, and tattoos.

Dan: (to Chloe) Did you hear that?

Chloe: Yeah, generic Satanist. What about the, uh, subdermal… she know what they mean?

Dan: No. Says Rose brought them in herself. She was super secretive about ’em.

Chloe: Uh-huh.

Dan: We’ll talk soon.

(Dan hangs up the phone. Malcolm comes up behind him.)

Malcolm: Ah, look at you two. (sighs) Marriage falling apart, trying to work together… So cute.

Dan: Yeah, well, maybe if you hadn’t sent her a break-up text while I was unconscious…

Malcolm: Oh. Hey, speaking of kicking your ass, I’m proud of you for bouncing back. Friends fight, right?

Dan: Yeah. Dick.

(Malcolm is walking to his car. Distant siren wailing. Alarm chirps. Amenadiel suddenly grabs Malcolm and pushes him against a pillar, holding him there. Grunts.)

Amenadiel: (growls) Why is Lucifer still alive?

Malcolm: Oh, it’s you. You scared me, dude.

Amenadiel: Have you forgotten what will happen to you if you don’t comply with our deal?

Malcolm: No, but I forgot to tell you! Lucifer spilled the beans.

Amenadiel: What are you talking about?

Malcolm: All that jazz about condemning me to eternal damnation? Poppycock, apparently. You’re an angel and Lucifer said that you’re not allowed to kill me. Plus… I got this beauty right here. (holds up Pentecostal coin) It’s my get-out-of-Hell-free card.

(Amenadiel growls)

Malcolm: (sighs) So… unless you got a better offer… #TeamLucifer.

(Chloe is at her desk rearranging implants on a tray. Lucifer is leaning against a nearby desk, away from her, reading from a Satanic manuscript.)

Lucifer: It’s not half bad, this. I mean, the writing’s atrocious, but it’s not complete drivel. Listen to this: “Satan represents a beacon of honesty in a sea of mass self-deceit.” Mmm. And… oh. Hello. There’s a whole chapter on s*x. I like this book.

Chloe: Rose’s subdermal implants… I’m pretty sure they’re letters. But I’ve arranged them 100 different ways and I can’t come up with anything significant. “Chili furis”? “I hurl ficis”? No. But could… could you come over here, please?

Lucifer: (reluctantly goes over to look at the implants) Oh, bloody hell. (he quickly arranges them) “Filii hircus” It’s Latin. Means “children of the goat.” Why do they always associate me with goats? I mean, I don’t even like their cheese.

Chloe: (searching on her computer) Here we go. “Church of the Dark Prince.” Location is secret. Looks like you have to be a member. Geez, look at this questionnaire. Oh, and of course, there’s a fee.

Lucifer: $200? Sinful.

Chloe: There’s got to be a faster way. (she goes to the website login page)

Lucifer: “What is your gift to the Devil?”

Chloe: How about… filii hircus? Yes!

Lucifer: (mumbling to self as he reads the organizations address)

Chloe: All right. Okay… (She looks and Lucifer is no longer behind her but is walking towards the elevator) what…

Lucifer: Yeah, I’ll see you there!

Chloe: What…?

(Lucifer is in the driveway in front of the building, leaning against his car, as Chloe drives up.)

Chloe: (gets out of her car, clears throat) Okay. That’s it. You’re being a freak. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, you won’t get in my car. What’s your problem?

Lucifer: There’s no problem. Just maybe you’re not as charming as you think you are.

Chloe: Wait, is this about that vulnerability thing?

Lucifer: Actually, yes.

Chloe: I mean… I get the teensiest bit touchy-feely with you and you freak out. Ugh. All I meant that night is that I can trust you. That’s all. Okay?

Lucifer: Okay.

Chloe: Okay.

Lucifer: Okay.

(Chloe knocks on the front door. It partially opens to reveal a man wearing a robe with the hood up.)

Chloe: (clears throat, whispering) Filii hircus.

(The man does nothing)

Lucifer: (sighs) Habeas corpus? Bababooey?

Man: You had it right the first time. But today is private.

Chloe: (thinking quickly she pushes Lucifer forward) Too private for Lucifer himself?

Man: You’re supposed to be blond.

Lucifer: Yes, I get that a lot.

Man: You have ID?

Lucifer: Absolutely. Let me just, uh… Oh. Dearie me. I seem to have left it in the car. Detective, would you mind going to fetch it, please?

Chloe: What am I, your dog?

(Lucifer shoots him a look to say he’s not budging so she reluctantly walks away towards his car. After she goes, Lucifer shows the man his red Devil eyes. The man screams and runs inside)

Lucifer: Detective… (She comes back, confused) After you.

(Inside the building)

Lucifer: It’s very Eyes Wide Shut. Too bad I forgot my sexy mask.

Chloe: Does anything scare you?

Lucifer: Should it? (he seems scared again)

(Behind a wall of old wood and stained glass they can see a group of robe-clad people standing in a circle around a leader who is speaking. We see a large pentagram engraved on the floor.)

Onyx: Rose is gone. But it is not her death that was important, it was her life. The imprint she left behind. See, Rose will be remembered. She will live on forever.

Chloe: This isn’t a sacrifice. It’s a memorial.

Lucifer: Quite civilized, actually.

Chloe: Yeah, they don’t seem like killers.

Lucifer: Mmm.

Onyx: And so now it is time to invoke the Four Crowned Princes of Hell.

Lucifer: Oh. Scratch that.

Onyx: Visualize the blue light filling your entire being. Satan to the east. Beelzebub to the north…

Lucifer: This is preposterous.

Chloe: I thought you’d love this.

Lucifer: First of all, there’s only one me. And secondly, the whole worship thing is more my father’s bag. And now…

Onyx: Lucifer will speak!

(A very tall robed man dressed in a goat head tries to enter from an adjacent room)

Lucifer: What?

(as the goat-man tried to enter the memorial room he thumps the goat head against the doorway keeping him from entering)

Lucifer: Ooh. Oh. No. No, no, no, no, no. This is where I draw the line.

(Angry, Lucifer opens the door and enters the memorial, pushing attendees out of his way)

Man: Ow. Ow.

Lucifer: Excuse me, excuse me! Sorry. Sorry.

Man: Hey, man.

Lucifer: If you would just butt out.

(He pushes the goat-man back into the other room)

Lucifer: Right! I’m the real Lucifer and I insist that you stop this nonsense immediately. I mean, have you heard yourselves? It’s embarrassing. Blue light coming out your ass or whatever it was. I mean, you preach rebellion, but you’re-you’re misguided sheep. And goat. Where’s the real defiance? The free will?

Satanists: Yeah! Free will! Free will rules! (applause)

Lucifer: No, no! You’re doing it again. Don’t applaud. This whole thing’s a sham!

Woman: (woman whoops) Anarchy!

(cheering, whooping)

Lucifer: I mean, just-just look at this. (takes a clear glass jar off the shelf that has liquid and something else inside) What is this supposed to be? Alien fetus? Pickled demon?

Man: (to another attendee) He’s the best Lucifer we’ve had in years.

Satanists: (chanting) Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer…

Lucifer: Stop! (he smashes the glass jar on the floor)Someone killed this girl! She didn’t deserve that. This is not what I stand for. Is that what you all wanted? Eh? Should be ashamed of yourselves.

(Onyx opens a door to his inner office. Chloe follows him in with Lucifer not far behind.)

Chloe: LAPD. Put the knife down. Why were you running?

Onyx: I wasn’t. I was upset.

Lucifer: Feeling guilty, are you?

Chloe: Tell me… why?

Onyx: What, our new Devil’s a cop, now, is he?

Lucifer: Oh, worse than that, I’m afraid. So come on. (looks Onyx in the eyes and does his mojo) Tell me, what nasty little urge are you hiding in your hoodie, hmm?

Onyx: I want to kill…

Lucifer: Yeah?

Onyx: I want to kill the sick b*st*rd who killed Rose. And then, after that, I want the hell out of this racket.

Lucifer: Oh.

Chloe: What’s your name?

Onyx: Onyx.

Chloe: Hmm?

Onyx: (sighs) Mitch Watson. Yeah, I changed it when I joined the church. 12 years later, I’m the frickin’ high priest. I’d love to bail. Kind of late for a career change, though. I mean, the whole thing’s a joke.

Lucifer: So, hold on… Are you saying you don’t believe in Lucifer?

Onyx: Look, mate, the Devil ain’t gonna buy me an Aston Martin.

Lucifer: Well, not with that attitude, he won’t.

Onyx: I mean, I like the philosophy. But it attracts a lot of weirdoes who take it way too seriously. And, of course, now Rosie’s dead.

Chloe: Yeah, and I see you have the same subdermal implants as she did.

Onyx: All the hardcore members… they all get this. I was trying to tell Rosie that she would regret it later, but she became obsessed. (sadly) She was an impressionable girl.

Lucifer: Well, her father was absentee. I suppose that’s why she got involved in all this nonsense, to piss her dad off.

Onyx: Actually, it was, uh… it was her boyfriend, Corazon, he’s the one who brought her in. Man, the guy’s a creeper. He kept talking about doing real sacrifices on animals.

Chloe: Did Corazon have access to this knife?

Onyx: Yeah, probably. This here is just for show. The blade springs inside the handle.

Chloe: Hmm. Strange. ‘Cause if it was real… it could definitely match the marks found on Rose’s body.

Onyx: We do have an actual version. Hold on. (he lifts the lid of a box on his desk and looks inside) Knife’s gone.

Chloe: Okay, we need to find Corazon now.

Onyx: Yeah.

Chloe: Do you have, um, his real name, uh, where he lives, his address?

Onyx: Give me a sec.

(Onyx goes into another room leaving Lucifer and Chloe in the office. They start looking at the art on the walls)

Chloe: Ugh. Looks just like you.

Lucifer: I manscape.

Chloe: I’m starting to understand why you chose this persona. All-powerful… Invincible…

Lucifer: Not exactly.

Chloe: Ah. Or it’s because you think that everybody’s out to get you.

Lucifer: That’s because they are. But trust me, I didn’t choose it. Why would anyone choose to be vilified?

Chloe: Thought the Devil was supposed to be immortal.

Lucifer: Well, one angel can hurt another, so… (suddenly he has an idea and puts his hand on her back as if to look for an indication she may be an angel)

Chloe: Oh, what…? What are you doing?

(door opens and Onyx appears holding a paper) No address, no last name, nothing.

Chloe: Hmm. He used PayPal to pay for the fee. All right, I’ll call in a warrant.

(Canopy bed in the center of the room which is lit, all around, with candles. Maze enters with a food bag to find Amenadiel looking out the window)

Maze: Well, if you can’t bring Muhammad to the dim sum… Hey. Why’d you stand me up?

Amenadiel: I had one task… one… to get my brother back to Hell. I’ve not only failed, but I’ve actually made things worse. I’m even sleeping with a demon.

Maze: Yeah, you lucky son of a bitch.

Maze: Come on, you can’t say that this isn’t the best s*x you’ve ever had. Well, it is the only s*x you’ve ever had, but still. (chuckles) Look, I’ve had a lot of s*x, with men and women. I mean a lot.

Amenadiel: Okay. Point made.

Maze: But this, with you, I don’t know, it’s… it’s different. But if you’re not happy here, then you should go home.

Amenadiel: I can’t. I can’t face my father as a failure. Look, I have a job to do. There’s no choice.

Maze: I understand. (Maze kisses Amenadiel and pulls him down onto the bed)

(Chloe is on phone and Lucifer stands listening)

Chloe: (on phone) Okay. Great. Yeah, I’ll be here. (to Lucifer) All right. So we got a real name for Corazon… Mike Carey… but it could take us a while to find him, so you should probably head home.

Lucifer: Oh, no, no, no. Not till this human stain’s brought to justice.

Chloe: (scoffs) I can’t get near you, now I can’t get rid of you. Whatever. I’m gonna go up and shower. Stay put. Do not wake up Trixie. (Chloe puts her phone on a shelf and heads upstairs)

(Lucifer sighs then sees Trixie’s door is ajar. He leans in, takes a stuffed animal off a shelf, and throws it at her laying in bed. He quickly moves back to the desk he was at and tries to look casual leaning against it. Trixie comes out of her room)

Trixie: Did you just throw a toy at me?

Lucifer: Oh, you’re awake. But since you’re up, I have some questions for you. Right. Are you adopted? In other words, are you sure the detective is your mother? Could she be from somewhere else? Does she have any special powers?

Trixie: Uh-uh.

Lucifer: What about any markings? Scars, on her back perhaps? There’s some chocolate cake in it for you.

Trixie: I want cash.

Lucifer: Oh. (chuckles) I like your style. All right. (hand her a bill)

Trixie: Mommy does have a scar.

Lucifer: Oh?

Trixie: On her butt. From when she got bit. By the Kraken.

Lucifer: Right. Not the direction I was going for, but what’s this Kraken that you talk of?

Chloe: My mom’s evil Chihuahua. (she has come back down into the room)

Lucifer: Why aren’t you showering?

Chloe: ‘Cause I left my phone down here. Why is Trixie awake? (snaps at Trixie) Get back in bed, young lady.

Trixie: Night, Lucifer.

Chloe: (to Lucifer) All right, seriously. No more freaky behavior. If this is about the other night, I’m sorry, okay? What do you want me to do, take it all back?

Lucifer: No, can you take your shirt off, please?

Chloe: What? Are you serious?

Lucifer: I need to see your back.

Chloe: Why?

Lucifer: Because I want to know if you’re an angel sent to destroy me.

Chloe: (sighs)

Lucifer: Nothing.

Chloe: Yeah. Is this about the scars on your back? Look, I have no idea what happened to you or what’s going on with you now, but… not everyone’s out to get you.

(phone buzzes, Chloe answers then says to Lucifer) They found him… Corazon.

(Chloe and Lucifer arrive to be greeted by an officer)

Officer: We found his car like this. It’s registered to Mike Carey.

(Slowly Chloe and Lucifer enter from one side, Dan and Malcolm enter from another. All creep into the warehouse using flashlights. Malcolm kicks something, clattering, gasps, Malcolm chuckles)

Malcolm: Just like old times, huh? Don’t shoot me though.

Dan: Funny. Come on,

Malcolm: I’m just joking.

(All four meet in the center of the warehouse)

Lucifer: Ah, Detective Douche, Detective Stache. What a pleasant surprise.

Chloe: Did you find anything?

Dan: Place seems empty.

Chloe: (feels a drop of blood hit her hand, she looks up, whispering) My God.

(They all look up to see Mike Carey, dead, hung with his arms spread out on a metal frame hung high in the rafters)

(A little while later there are now more officers on the scene.)

Dan: (comparing a photo to the body) It’s definitely Mike Carey.

Officer: Detectives, can I show you something?

(Chloe and Dan follow the officer. Malcolm stays behind with Lucifer looking at the body with the same marks as the dead girl. siren wailing)

Malcolm: (to Lucifer) So what do you really make of all this, huh? The “Hail, Lucifer,” the pentagram?

Lucifer: I think it’s a long time since I encountered genuine evil.

(On the other side of the room there are red markings on stacked up crates and containers.)

Chloe: Wow. (sticks her finger in red substance and sniffs it) It’s not blood. It’s paint.

Dan: So the killer strapped Mike up then decided to go all Jackson Pollock?

Chloe: I guess. Yeah, looks like an “A.” That can’t be random. I think it’s a word. (gasps. As they move further away and look back they can see it spells out a word) Giant anamorphic print.

Dan: “Morningstar.” Whoa.

Chloe: Another Satanic message.

Dan: Or a fan letter. Morningstar is not exactly the most common name for the Devil. You think someone did this for our Lucifer? That’s kind of a leap, Dan.

Dan: Yeah, but if I’m right, it’s also a conflict of interest. Somebody could be doing this on his behalf, or maybe he’s involved in a different way.

Chloe: What does that mean?

(Lucifer has now come to where Chloe and Dan are talking.)

Lucifer: Yes. What are you insinuating?

Dan: That some psycho might be killing people because of your whole Devil shtick.

Lucifer: You’re blaming this nonsense on me?

Dan: You do take the whole Satan thing pretty seriously.

Lucifer: You really think I’d do these vile things? These kids were pretending to be bad, but they weren’t, they were innocent, so I would never hurt them, I’m not a monster.

Chloe: Okay, guys. That’s enough. Lucifer, maybe you should go home.

Lucifer: Oh, no, allow me to stay in this rusty tin can a little longer. You came to me, you insisted I work this case.

Chloe: Okay, this sounds crazy, but this case might involve you.

Lucifer: What do you mean, involve me?

Chloe: You know what I mean. (sighs) I’m trying to protect you.

Lucifer: Oh, protect me from the evil or the world from evil me?

(Dr. Linda, wearing a coat, enters her office with Lucifer close behind.)

Lucifer: Can you believe Detective von Douche boots me off the case?

Dr. Linda: And Chloe agreed to this?

Lucifer: (sighs and paces near the door) She didn’t disagree. (chuckles incredulously) How could she even think I’m capable? Here? That’s why I left. I thought she knew me. I thought I knew her.

Chloe: And now you don’t trust her anymore? (she sits down)

Lucifer: Oh, it’s just this whole immortality thing. Uh, for some reason, Detective Decker makes me vulnerable. (sits on the sofa)

Dr. Linda: Also known as “intimacy.”

Lucifer: No. No, she literally makes me exsanguinate.

Dr. Linda: Being vulnerable can be scary. But there are benefits when you open yourself up to someone.

Lucifer: I just wish I knew who was behind this. My dad? My brother? Someone else? I mean, the detective doesn’t seem to know, but she could be lying. Is she part of the plan to kill me, or is she just a-a pawn?

Dr. Linda: Maybe we should explore the possibility that being vulnerable can be a good thing.

Lucifer: No, it can’t. It means you’re at someone else’s mercy.

Dr. Linda: Then maybe you should just stay away from everybody. Stay away from Chloe.

Lucifer: But… I don’t want to.

Dr. Linda: Then don’t.

(Maze and Amenadiel appear to be asleep in bed.)

(Maze is awake. She looks unsure. Pulls out her demon blade. Hesitates. Then raises it high and brings it down quickly. Amenadiel wakes and grabs her arm. Grunting, he stops her. They look at each other for a long moment.)

(Amenadiel quickly gets out of bed.)

Maze: Amenadiel.

(Lucifer is making his way through a crowd of protestors)

Protestors: (chanting) Satan is here, but God is near! Satan is here, but God is near! Satan is here, but God is near!

Preacher Williams: (he sees Lucifer) You! I know you’re behind this. Because I have seen you. I know what you really are.

Lucifer: What I am is annoyed. Just let me go to my club and move along, please.

Preacher Williams: I know these murders are your doing!

Lucifer: (angry) I have no skeletons in my closet, which is more than can be said for you nasty little humans. So come on, preacher man, enough about me, let’s talk about your dark and nasties, shall we? (Lucifer does his mojo)

Preacher Williams: I must throw you into a lake of sulfur and fire.

Lucifer: Oh, so you want to destroy me. Well, get in line.

Preacher Williams: Yes, I wish…

Lucifer: Yes.

Preacher Williams: (distraught) I never met you.

Lucifer: It’s like some kind of collective amnesia. I mean, I walk around this city of yours, solving its filthy little crimes, and this is the thanks I get?

Preacher Williams: You’re a murderer. A murderer!

Lucifer: Stop blaming me!

Preacher Williams: I should destroy you. (Lucifer grabs the preacher and pushes him up a light pole.)

Man: Hey, put him down!

Malcolm: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, easy. Hey, hey, hey, hey. (to Lucifer) This scumbag isn’t worth it, all right? (Lucifer lets go of the preacher.)

Preacher Williams: This isn’t over.

Lucifer: (chuckles, to Malcolm) You come to have a go at me as well?

Malcolm: Nah. Chloe thought you might need protection from freaks like that.

Lucifer: What I want is a drink. (he moves off to LUX. Malcolm nodes like he could use a drink also.)

Dan: Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.

Chloe: Earlier today, or three weeks ago, when you broke up with me in a text?

Dan: Chloe, I know. I’ve been looking for a way to explain things, but nothing makes sense. I will fix this, though, I promise.

Chloe: No more promises. I just want to do our jobs. What’s that?

(siren wailing. indistinct radio transmission. Chloe picks up a cufflink off the floor.)

Chloe: This definitely doesn’t belong here.

Dan: A monogrammed “M.” Doesn’t Lucifer wear cuff links?

(They both look back at the red “Morningstar” letters)

(Chloe is holding a photo of the cufflink and she and Dan talk)

Chloe: Really? No prints, no skin cells?

Dan: Nope. Dead end. Unless you want to check Lucifer’s closet for the match.

Chloe: Very funny.

Woman: Yo, Decker, your partner’s on TV.

Newscaster: A video went viral today after a fight erupted on Hollywood Boulevard. Local club owner Lucifer Morningstar attacked Reverend Jacob Williams when Williams claimed the businessman with the devilish name was actually involved in the Satanic murders making recent headlines.

Dan: Apparently, I’m not the only one.

Chloe: This is ridiculous. He didn’t attack the guy. He was defending himself.

Woman: Still hot. (hands Chloe the remote control before leaving) Sorry.

(Chloe notices something in the news report and runs the tape back to try to get a better look.)

Chloe: The preacher. Preacher’s wearing a cuff link.

Dan: So what? A lot of guys do.

Chloe: One? With an “M”?

Dan: No way.

Lucifer: Oh… It’s not an “M.” It’s a “W,” for Williams. Come on, Dan, it makes sense. Who’s gonna want to kill Satanists more than a religious zealot? We gotta find him.

(Lucifer sits at his bar lost in deep thought, not listening as Malcolm chats away, moving about the room with a drink in his hand.)

Malcolm: Freakin’ street preacher and his little minions, man. Who do they think they are? Bunch of posers. (chuckles) Ah… Don’t even sweat it, huh? What do you say we get some ladies up in here, huh? Blow off some steam! Emphasis on the “blow,” huh? (chuckling)

Lucifer: (now noticing Malcolm) Why are you in my house?

Malcolm: Because I got your back, man. I saw the way they treated you at the crime scene. Anyways, I know you didn’t kill those people. Did you? (laughing) I’m just joking! God… You need to relax, get yourself a little shiatsu.

Lucifer: Mmm.

Malcolm: Ah… This feels good. Feels good, hanging out here with you. I mean, ever since I, you know, went to Hell, it’s just… there’s been things in my head that no one would understand. Except you, of course. You know? I just want you to know… I respect the hell out of you. (giggles) Get it? Hell? (laughs) Up top. What, you just gonna leave me hanging?

(Malcolm raises his hand for a high-five and holds it there. Lucifer now notices something surprising…)

Lucifer: You’ve got red paint on your hand.

Malcolm: Huh?

Lucifer: Just like the paint we found at the warehouse.

Malcolm: I must’ve gotten it on me at the scene.

Lucifer: Oh, I doubt that. Everyone was wearing gloves.

Malcolm: Aw, man! You caught me! Literally red-handed. (laughs) Oh, I was, I was wondering when you’d figure it out. You know, when I asked if you did it? Totally thought you were gonna ask me. Been dying all day to tell you.

Lucifer: You?

Malcolm: (with glee) Uh-huh.

Lucifer: You did this? You killed those people?

Malcolm: Oh, you mean those frauds? Duh! So, what do you… what do you think? Impressed? Hmm?

Lucifer: You’re insane.

Malcolm: I know! It’s… Don’t you love it? I mean, of course, you do. I mean, we’re the same.

Lucifer: Oh, we are not the same.

Malcolm: Wait, wait, wait. I-If you’re worried, I’ve got the perfect person to pin it on… that street preacher. Genius, right? Guy’s crazy. Yeah. And I already dropped some evidence, so it’s… (Lucifer grabs Malcolm) Whoa! But I did this for you. Aren’t you happy?

Lucifer: Why would I be happy? I’m not evil. I punish evil.

Malcolm: Yeah, but, but you’re, you know… The Devil, yes.

Lucifer: And you think you know who that is, don’t you? The whole world does. A torturer, maybe. An inflictor of just desserts, sure. But a senseless murderer I am not. Perhaps I need to clarify my position.

Malcolm: Hey, hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I’ve got this, remember? (holds up Pentecostal coin)

Lucifer: (laughs) Don’t worry, Malcolm. I’m not gonna send you to Hell. I’m going to bring it right to you. (Picks up Malcolm and throws him across the room) And after I’m finished with you, Detective Decker can put you in a cold, dark room so you can think about what you’ve done, young man.

Malcolm: Oh… (Malcolm pulls out a gun and points it at Lucifer. They both laugh. Malcolm thinks he’s safe because he still thinks Lucifer is mortal. Lucifer knows he is not. Lucifer grabs Malcolm’s gun and hand and squeezes. Malcolm’s knees get weak and whimpering goes down on the floor) Ah!

Amenadiel: Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?

(We now see that Amenadiel has entered the penthouse from the balcony.)

Lucifer: After the monumentally dreadful day I’ve had, you decide to drop in now? I’m clearing up your mess, by the way, so if you don’t mind.

Amenadiel: You sent your demon to seduce me and then kill me.

(Lucifer chuckles)

Amenadiel: Yeah. I definitely mind.

Lucifer: (Lucifer now notices that Malcolm has escaped via the elevator while he was distracted by Amenadiel) Right. Wonderful. Now, look what you’ve done. The man you just freed… you know, the one you raised from the dead… he’s murdering humans. And that… that is on your hands, brother.

Amenadiel: You’re wrong. It’s your fault.

Lucifer: Oh…

Amenadiel: It always has been. (Amenadiel takes a swing at Lucifer who stops his fist mid-swing.)

Lucifer: Hate to break it to you, bro… (grunts) but this time, I’m fighting back. (punches land, grunting)

Amenadiel: If only you’d done what was asked of you, none of this would’ve happened, and I’d still be home… (grunts) where I belong!

Lucifer: Heaven? Really? You’re sure that’s still home, eh? After everything, you’ve done? Sleeping with a demon. Think Dad might have another assignment for you. Somewhere, I don’t know, slightly warmer.

Amenadiel: (yells) Why? Why did you have to use her?

Lucifer: (laughs) Now I get what this little tantrum’s really about. It’s about Maze. You like her. Well, I mean, I don’t blame you, brother. She is a wild woman in the sack.

Amenadiel: Listen, if you wanted me dead, you should’ve had the balls to do it yourself!

Lucifer: Oh, please. You’re the one who’s been using pawns from the start. Linda, Malcolm, huh? Now the detective. You’re a coward!

Amenadiel: Chloe? I don’t even know what you’re talking about!

Lucifer: You always were a lousy liar. You justify it all, don’t you? Claim it’s all done in the name of our father, but… it’s for your sake, brother. And they call me the prideful one.

Maze: Enough! (Maze entered the penthouse via the elevator unseen until now) I’m the pawn. You both used me. You know what? Here. Kill each other.

(Maze pulls out her two demon blades and puts them on the bar. She turns and leaves. Lucifer and Amenadiel look at each other and both sigh. Amenadiel walks away. Lucifer looks at the smashed bottles of alcohol.)

Lucifer: Now where do I get a drink?

(Chloe, Dan, and other officers and squad cars are there)

Chloe: The last place the preacher was seen was near LUX. Remember, he’s to be considered armed and dangerous.

Dan: Malcolm took Lucifer into the club.

Chloe: You guys see anything, you get on the radio. All right, I’ll check the club. You guys search the area.

(LUX is empty except for Lucifer sitting at the bar drinking after having fought Amenadiel. Chloe enters.)

Lucifer: Mmm. Hello, Detective. If you’ve come to have a shot at me, now’s the time. Everyone’s doing it.

Chloe: Yeah, your scuffle with the preacher made the local news.

Lucifer: (laughs) Oh, that. That was about five disasters ago.

Chloe: God, your face…

Lucifer: Yeah, well, what can I say? You should’ve seen the other chap.

Chloe: Thought I did. What happened?

Lucifer: (scoffs) Well… where do I begin? With the grandest fall in the history of time? Or perhaps the far more agonizing punishment that followed? To be blamed for every morsel of evil humanity’s endured, every atrocity committed in my name? As though I wanted people to suffer.

(As Lucifer talks, Chloe slowly walks across behind him and out of frame.)

Lucifer: All I ever wanted was to be my own man here. To be judged for my own doing. And for that? I’ve been shown how truly powerless I am. That even the people I trusted… the one person, you… (sighs sadly) could be used to hurt me.

Chloe: Lucifer…

Lucifer: Yes? (laughing he now looks at her) What?

(Chloe draws her weapon and points it at Lucifer as a group of police officers enter LUX)

Chloe: Put your hands up and move away from the bar.

(We now see Preacher Williams laying on the floor on the other side of the bar, dead, from a gunshot to the head.)

Lucifer: Detective, there’s an explanation…

Chloe: Stop! Don’t say another word. Put your hands up. Or you’ll leave us no choice. Lucifer Morningstar, you’re under arrest.