S2 Ep06: Monster

25 August 2021 / 25 August 2021 by Victoria

Bride, Groom, officiator, and guests are all dressed in tattered and stained clothes and wearing zombie makeup.

Officiator: We are gathered here today to mourn a great loss. Peggy, Edgar. Your single life is dead.

(crowd chuckles and applauds)

Officiator: But your life of wedded bliss is just beginning.

Bridesmaid: (to another bridesmaid) She’s gorgeous even as a freakin’ zombie. (sighs, says to self) I hate her.

Officiator: If anyone objects to this unholy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.

(A gunshot rings out, the groom is hit in the arm, he grunts and falls to the floor. A woman screams.)

Bride: (distraught) Edgar! Oh, my God, help! (to attendees) Someone call the ambulance! (Guests are smiling thinking this is a planned part of the ceremony.) Please, this is real! Somebody call an ambulance, please!

(A second gunshot hits the bride mid-torso. She grunts and falls dead. Crowd screams and clamors)

(Lucifer intensely partying, drinking heavily, kissing multiple women.)

(Lucifer walks a woman up to the bar)

Lucifer: (taps the bar and says to bartender) Howdy, gang. Martini, extra dry, just like I like it.

Dr. Linda: Lucifer?

Lucifer: Doctor! (whoops) Come to join the party?

Dr. Linda: No, I’m here to check on you. You didn’t show for our session.

Lucifer: Yeah, yeah. I know, I canceled that.

Dr. Linda: Yeah, which is odd, because you never cancel. Is everything okay?

Lucifer: Mm! It’s fine, just a little family drama, that’s all. Nothing to worry about.

Dr. Linda: Family drama?

Lucifer: Mm. My brother died.

Dr. Linda: Amenadiel?

Lucifer: Mm! (chuckling) No, no. No, I… another brother. I have many.

Dr. Linda: Lucifer, I’m so sorry.

Lucifer: Oh, it’s fine, what’s done is done, eh? Whiskey?

Dr. Linda: No, no, you… Lucifer, patients often avoid sessions precisely when they need it the most. When the feelings are too painful.

Dr. Linda: Are you sure you don’t need to talk?

Lucifer: Well, I think there are a few other things I’d rather do, you know. (Lucifer tries to kiss Dr. Linda)

Dr. Linda: No, no. Okay, Lucifer, no, no, no.

Lucifer: (chuckling) Come on.

Dr. Linda: No, we’re not doing that anymore, and you know that.

Lucifer: (scoffs)

Dr. Linda: Now, I’m here if you want to talk about your brother’s death, but in a… in an appropriate manner.

Lucifer: Oh, what’s the point? You wouldn’t understand me, anyway. You think everything I say is a metaphor. Now if you don’t mind, you’re killing my buzz. Ladies.

Dr. Linda: Well, if you change your mind, my door is always open.

(women chuckling)

Lucifer: (getting in Dr. Linda’s face) Well, feel free to shut it.

(Dr. Linda, annoyed, turns and leaves. Lucifer realizes what he’s done to her but simply can not face her yet.)

(The apartment is decked out for Halloween. Chloe is happily hanging a spider web decoration on the front door. Maze and Trixie can be heard laughing inside. Chloe enters the living room area where she sees Trixie swinging on a sex swing Maze had installed there.)

Trixie: Look, Mommy, I’m swinging!

Chloe: (waving Trixie off swing) Hey, baby, get off of that. Hey. (speaks calmly to Trixie) Can you let Maze and Mommy talk for a minute? Please?

Trixie: Mm-hmm. Okay. (she leaves the room)

Chloe: (to Maze) Seriously? A s*x swing?

Maze: I know, right? You want to hop on?

Chloe: Okay, if we’re gonna live together, we need to have some house rules. Rule number one, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, no s*x swing.

Maze: You said I could bring my furniture.

Chloe: A s*x swing is not furniture. We have to agree on what’s gonna be in the common area, Maze.

Maze: Fine, I don’t agree with your cheesy decorations.

Chloe: You don’t like Halloween?

Maze: Of course I do. Slutty outfits, humans abandoning their inhibitions, masquerade orgies. That’s great.

Chloe: But that’s not our Halloween. You live with a child now. You’re gonna have to rethink how you look at things.

Maze: Oh. Do I?

(Chloe and Maze firmly stare at each other for a long moment.)

Chloe: Maybe living together was a bad idea.

Maze: Now that’s something we can agree on.

(phone rings)

Chloe: Decker. (she answers the phone and walks away from Maze.)

Dan: This is Peggy Russo. She’s a movie makeup artist from Studio City. Died from a single shot to the chest. Still waiting on ballistics, but it looks like it’s a large caliber bullet, most likely from a rifle.

Chloe: Anyone see the shooter?

Dan: Ah, we’re still combing through the guest list, but so far, no. Everyone was focused on the ceremony.

Chloe: What about the wait staff?

Dan: Questioned them first, nothing. But we’re running everyone’s info, see if we have any priors.

Chloe: Great. Dead center shot. You said, the… what? The groom was hit in the arm?

Dan: Yeah.

Chloe: So he botches the first shot, and aces the second?

Dan: Maybe the bride was the intended target, and the groom just got in the way.

Chloe: Where is he now?

Dan: Uh, he’s over with the medics.

(tires screech in the background)

Groom: (sitting on a stretcher, arm bandaged and with oxygen tubing at his nose.) I can’t believe she’s gone. Why would anybody want to do this?

(Lucifer, drunk and disheveled arrives and staggers under yellow police tape into the crime scene.)

Chloe: Did Peggy have problems with anyone? Anyone you know of that would’ve wanted to hurt her?

(Lucifer sees a zombie priest, does a fake crossing himself, burps, and continues toward the catering food tent.)

Groom: (crying) No. Peggy’s amazing. She’s beautiful and smart and funny.

Chloe: (sincerely and respectfully) Sorry. I’m sorry I have to ask you these questions.

(Behind them Lucifer talks loudly in the food tent.)

Lucifer: Oh! Devil’s food cake. I’ve definitely come to the right place. (puts a slide of cake on a plate) There we go.

Chloe: (talking to him as she walks over to the tent) Oh, Lucifer. So good of you to show. You realize you’re late, yeah? Oh, and you’re eating possible evidence.

Lucifer: (Looks for a fork then eats the cake with his hand.) What?

Chloe: (takes the cake out of his hand.) Give me that.

Lucifer: (mouth full) Surely all this food can’t go to waste, Detective.

Chloe: You look like hell.

Lucifer: (snickers, imitates rimshot) Not heard that before.

Chloe: Are you drunk?

Lucifer: (slightly slurring his words) I wish. Pesky supernatural metabolism keeps getting in the way. (pours himself a glass of Champaign.) Still doesn’t stop me trying, though.

Chloe: (takes the glass from him before he can drink) No! No drinking at a crime scene.

Lucifer: Fine. What murder are we solving today? I mean, everyone here looks dead.

Chloe: We have an injured groom and a deceased bride.

Lucifer: Oh, they got to that “till death do us part” nonsense quickly, didn’t they?

Chloe: The bride suffered a gunshot wound to the chest.

Lucifer: Chest? Shooter didn’t go for the head? First rule of zombie killing. (sniffs. grabs another wine flute and pours himself another glass of Champaign)

Chloe: Do you want to work this case with me or not?

Lucifer: (suddenly serious) Of course I do. Every killer must be punished.

Chloe: Good. Then you stay here. Find some water. Calm down. I’m gonna talk to some witnesses, and pull yourself together. You look like a homeless magician. (she sighs and walks away)

Lucifer: (walks to the other side of the tent to talk with the bridesmaids) Well… hello, bridesmaids. So, which one of you horrifying zombettes wanted the bride dead then, hey? Surely she put each of you through hell. All brides do, am I right?

(Lucifer chuckles. Bridesmaids look uncomfortable.)

Lucifer: Yeah, let me guess. She wanted you lose weight, didn’t she? You to cover your tattoos. Forced you to buy a tea-length dress that does nothing for your cankles. And did any of you want to wear this… hideous zombie makeup?

(Cankles bridesmaid suddenly sobs)

Lucifer: Oh, hello. You look suspicious. (he leans in and does his mojo) Tell me, what did you want to do to our corpse bride?

Bridesmaid: (mesmerized) I wanted to ruin her wedding.

Lucifer: Ah-ha, right. Let me guess, you were in love with the groom. This is always about jealousy, isn’t it?

Bridesmaid: No! It was Peggy.

Lucifer: Oh, much more interesting, go on.

Bridesmaid: She was so disgustingly perfect, I hated it. How could anyone compare?

Lucifer: So remove the competition, got it.

Bridesmaid: I told her ex-boyfriend Jason where the wedding was gonna be.

Lucifer: Hmm.

Bridesmaid: Hoping he’d… I don’t know, show up and make a scene.

Lucifer: Oh.

Bridesmaid: But I never imagined that he would kill her. (crying) This is all my fault.

Lucifer: Oh. No, no, no, no, come, come. Don’t do that. Guilt is such a useless emotion. It’s completely unflattering on such a beautiful face.

Woman: You… you think I’m beautiful?

Lucifer: (chuckles) Oh! (Lucifer and Bridesmaid start kissing, moaning, she squeals.)

Chloe: (sharply) Lucifer, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Detective, I’ve found you a lead.

Chloe: Where… in her mouth?

Lucifer: Yes, actually! Imagine what I can find in other orifices. Ooh! (chuckles)

Chloe: Okay. (to Bridesmaid) I apologize.

Lucifer: (to Chloe) I’m just being thorough. (puts his hand to his ear imitating a phone) Call me. (to Chloe who is pulling him away. He knocks into the table.) Easy!

(Indistinct chatter. Chloe and Lucifer descend the stairs and talk in the foyer between the stairs and the detective squad room.)

Chloe: What has gotten into you? I thought you were getting the hang of this.

Lucifer: I got you a lead, didn’t I? The ex-boyfriend, you looking into him?

Chloe: Yeah, Dan’s on it, but that’s not the point. This whole new thing, you making out with witnesses? Completely inappropriate.

Lucifer: When are you going to get it? Inappropriate is what I do.

Chloe: You’ve always been a pain in the ass, Lucifer, but I’ve never seen you like this. What’s going on? What happened?

Lucifer: Just enough of the questioning, Detective. Reprimand me or let’s get on with it. (scoffs)

Dan: Wow.

Chloe: (to Chloe) Can I talk to you, please?

Chloe: (groans. to Lucifer) Pull your pants up.

(Chloe and Dan step away from Lucifer.)

Chloe: Hi.

Dan: Hey, what’s up with him? Looks like he just rolled out of bed or something.

Chloe: I don’t know. There’s just something completely off about him today.

Dan: Yeah, well, there’s something’s really off about him every day.

Chloe: No, no, it’s different. He’s missing his usual… extreme glee. He-he just seems really dark.

Dan: Look, is he gonna be a problem? ‘Cause you know I wouldn’t mind if you send him home.

Chloe: Nope, not a problem.

Dan: You sure?

Chloe: Yep, got it. I can handle it. What’d you get from ballistics?

Dan: I confirmed large caliber bullet from a rifle, long-range. I have a team searching a wider perimeter for more evidence. (door swings open) And I finished the background check on everyone at the wedding. All clean. But the ex-boyfriend, Jason Myers, he’s not. He’s got one aggravated assault, two weapons violations. I have him waiting in interrogation for you.

(We see a mean-looking man sitting at the interrogation room table when the door momentarily swings open. Lucifer hearing the suspect is in the interrogation room slips in and uses his strength to break the door handles so no one can enter.)

Lucifer: (holding up the broken handles for the man to see, Lucifer’s eyes turn red.) Well… hello, bad guy.

Dan: Lucifer, open the damn door! (banging on interrogation room door)

Chloe: Lucifer! Lucifer, open this door right now!

(Lucifer casually sits with his legs crossed on the tabletop. The suspect is curled up on the floor against a wall, sobbing.)

Chloe: (over the intercom from the observation room) Lucifer, what are you doing?

Lucifer: (sighs) Just having a little chitchat with our friend here. Care to know what I’ve learned?

Chloe: You get out of there now.

Lucifer: (to suspect) Oh, she’s so demanding.

(Slowly Lucifer gets up and leaves the interrogation room as Dan and another officer rush past him to check on the suspect.)

Lucifer: (to Chloe) Well… he’s innocent.

Chloe: Oh, did you figure that out before or after you tortured him?

Dan: You tortured a suspect?

Lucifer: I didn’t lay a finger on the spineless cretin.

Dan: Come on, the guy’s sitting on the floor crying. (goes back in the interrogation room)

Lucifer: Crying because of a woman, not me… the bride, to be specific. However, he did not kill her.

Chloe: And you know that how?

Lucifer: He said he couldn’t take seeing the bride so happy, so he ran off, crying… Surprise, surprise… Well before the shooting started.

Chloe: And you believed that?

Lucifer: Of course not. He had an alibi.

Chloe: Really?

Lucifer: Yes. Leaving the park on the service road, he bumped into a wedding musician. Didn’t get a name, but he had a buzz cut and a guitar case.

Chloe: A guitar? No. They booked a DJ, not a live band.

Lucifer: Trust me, crying guy isn’t lying.

Chloe: Maybe, but maybe there wasn’t a guitar in that case.

Lucifer: Oh, so you think our musician might be the shooter.

Dan: (comes back out of interrogation room) He’s pretty shaken up, but he’s gonna be okay. (to Lucifer) You’re lucky.

Chloe: (to Dan) Okay, I still have to question properly. But there’s a possibility that Jason saw our shooter, and he may have been carrying his rifle in a guitar case. Last seen on the park service road.

Dan: I’m on it.

Lucifer: (taking a little fake bow) You’re welcome.

Chloe: Excuse me? What you just did in there is incredibly inappropriate. Are you trying to get in trouble or are you trying to piss me off?

Lucifer: I did what I had to do. Got results, didn’t I?

Chloe: If you pull one more stunt like that, I don’t care how effective you are, I will bench you. (single note resonates)

(Amenadiel sits at the piano and plays a single note when The Goddess walks.)

Goddess: (to Amenadiel) I take it you heard about Uriel? (she sits down on the piano bench next to him) Is Lucifer here?

Amenadiel: No, he’s out. Probably in the middle of some three-way, like nothing happened.

Goddess: Not everyone grieves the same way. Lucifer, he’s never been one to… face his emotions. Instead of looking in, he acts out. You know, a rebellion here, an apple there? But you… How are you doing? Come on, tell your mom.

Amenadiel: When I first heard of Uriel’s death, I wanted to blame Lucifer. But… then I realized I was just as much to blame, if not more. None of this would have happened if I still had my…

Goddess: Your powers.

Amenadiel: (surprised) How did you know?

Goddess: A mother knows. But I also know it’s possible to regain your strength. That we both can.

Amenadiel: No, Mom, it’s too late. Uriel would… He would still be alive if it wasn’t for me.

Goddess: Come, there’s something you need to see.

(Dan walks over to the large wall monitor followed closely by Chloe and Lucifer.)

Dan: Okay, so we found something near the service road. Look at this. It’s a nice little hiding spot behind some bushes. Disturbed ground. Clear view of the stage. Someone with a rifle could’ve made this shot.

(Lucifer, still disheveled, only half listening.)

Chloe: (pointing to crumbled paper in the photo) What’s that?

Dan: That… is a pastry napkin from a Dutch food truck.

Lucifer: “Freddy’s Dutch Oven”? (he open the evidence bag containing the paper and sniffs it) Love this place. (Dan angrily rips the bag out of Lucifer’s hand.) Unfortunate name, but best stroopwafel in Hollywood.

Dan: The napkin is definitely from today. The syrup is still wet to the touch.

Lucifer: And undoubtedly tasty. (Lucifer licks his fingers)

Chloe: So if the shooter bought this stroop… whatever you call it… With his credit card, we can track his identity. So we need to get to the food truck and talk to the owner.

Dan: I will put out a BOLO.

Lucifer: (working on his phone) What is it with you and BOLOs? Why don’t you just use Freddy’s Dutch Oven app? Gives you their current locale. You never know when you’re in the mood for a good strooping.

(Chloe is not amused.)

(Freddy’s Dutch Oven food truck is parked in a lot next to the beach. There is a small crowd of patrons waiting in front of the open order window. Chloe and Lucifer walk up to the truck.)

Chloe: (turning to Lucifer) You know what? You stay here. Don’t move. I’ll do the talking.

Lucifer: Fine by me. (he checks out a bikini-clad woman in line.)

Chloe: Detective Decker, LAPD. Are you the owner?

Freddy: Alfred Loomis, but you can call me Freddy. And let me guess. You look like a “chocolade hagelslag” kind of girl. Am I right?

Chloe: Sir, earlier today you served a man with a buzz cut, possibly carrying a guitar case. Does that ring a bell?

Lucifer: (interrupting and talking loud) If I may, one order of “oliebollen,” please.

Chloe: (turns back to look at Lucifer) What?

Lucifer: (to Chloe) Oliebollen. Literally means “oily balls.” Tastes better than it sounds, believe me. (to Freddy) Thank you.

Freddy: No, sorry, Detective, I don’t remember anyone like that. But I wasn’t here during the morning shift.

Food truck worker: Um, Freddy, I forgot to tell you a guy like that was here when I opened. He was asking when you’d be around. Asking for me specifically?

Lucifer: (interrupting again) Actually, you know what? Make the two orders, please. I’m famished.

(impatient groans and murmurs from the crowd)

Chloe: Lucifer…

(A gunshot rings out hitting Freddy in the head and killing him instantly.)

Chloe: (draws her gun and yells) Everybody down!

(Patron duck to the ground or run away, panicked screams are heard. Lucifer continues to stand, unmoved and unafraid. Police cars approach, sirens blaring. Chloe sees a flash on a rooftop.)

Chloe: (yells at officers) Shooter on the roof. Victim in the truck. Secure the scene! (She runs off towards the building where she saw the flash.)

Lucifer: (Annoyed he follows after her.) Bloody hell!

(On the rooftop. Chloe kicks in the roof access door and slowly steps onto the roof, gun drawn. Seagulls cawing and distant siren wailing. She finds the roof empty and makes her way to the edge of the roof where she saw the flash. Lucifer follows a ways behind her. She finds a gun casing and picks it up with a pen inside the casing. She stands looking out over the railing as Lucifer walks up.)

Lucifer: Not very polite of Mr. Shooter to leave without saying goodbye.

Chloe: His bullets are saying plenty.

Lucifer: Well, why shoot Food Truck Freddy, just ’cause you were questioning him?

Chloe: No, this was premeditated. The shooter came here to find him, then went to shoot the bride, then came back when he knew Freddy would be here. This guy’s got a list. God, who’s next?

Lucifer: (chuckles) He’s not gonna tell you.

(Lucifer is in the break room having no luck getting a vending machine to work.)

Lucifer: Come bloody on! (sighs, banging on the machine)

Chloe: (Walks into break room holding an open file folder.) What are you doing?

Lucifer: That’s twice now today I’ve been denied snacks. You got change for a hundie? (holds up a $100 bill)

Chloe: Oh, God. All right, ballistics confirmed the same rifle was used in both shootings, but no prints were found on the rooftop. This guy paid cash at the food truck. He really covers his tracks.

(Lucifer continues with the vending machine buttons. Chloe walks outside the room to a whiteboard covered with case details )

Chloe: If I could just find a connection between our two victims. But Peggy Russo and Freddy Loomis seem to have nothing in common.

Lucifer: Apart from being dead. Uh, maybe they were just randomly chosen.

Chloe: Mm, my gut says no. This guy is too calculating. Deliberate. Until we find a link between these t…

Lucifer: (having broken open the front of the vending machine) Teeny-tiny doughnuts, or cool ranch puffs?

Chloe: Lucifer, you can’t just steal food in the middle of the precinct.

Lucifer: Why? Are you gonna put me on the naughty step, so I can have a think about what I’ve done?

(Chloe’s cell phone rings and, annoyed, she turns and walks away from Lucifer to takes it. Lucifer grabs some packaged snacks from the vending machine and puts a folded $100 bill in the coils before walking away leaving the door open.)

Chloe: Hey, Monkey. Yes, yeah, I-I’m really sorry. Work got busy. Yes, I really, really want to take you trick-or-treating. But if Mommy or Daddy can’t make it home in time, Babysitter Shelly might have to take you, okay?

Trixie: Oh, she already left.

Chloe: What? Why?

Trixie: I don’t know. But when she went into Maze’s room, she ran out screaming. It was hilarious.

Chloe: Who’s watching you now?

Trixie: Maze. Can she take me trick-or-treating?

Chloe: No.

Trixie: Mommy, please? I promise I’ll be good.

Chloe: Yeah, babe, it’s not you that I’m worried about.

Trixie: Please, please, please, please?

Chloe: (huffs) All right, put Maze on the phone.

Maze: Yeah?

Chloe: What did you do to the babysitter?

Maze: Me? She’s the one who didn’t knock. I had no time to hide my toys.

Chloe: Okay, Maze, look, I have a favor to ask you.

Maze: That’s Lucifer’s thing.

Chloe: I know, but I’ll never find a sitter this late. And trick-or-treating is really important to Trixie, Maze. Will you please take her for me?

Maze: Sure, I’ll take your offspring for a walk.

Chloe: Well, she’s not a dog, but thank you. Okay, don’t let her out of your sight, please check her candy, and take her early, like 3:00.

Maze: Great. Best after-parties don’t start till 3:00 anyway.

Chloe: Not 3:00 a.m., 3:00 p.m. I want her home before dark. And do not take her to any parties.

Maze: (scoffs) Lame. But whatever, your kid.

Chloe: Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, oh, did you see the costume? I laid it on the bed. Uh…

(Maze hangs up before Chloe finishes. Trixie comes out of her room dressed in a pink princess costume looking sad.)

Maze: What’s wrong?

Trixie: I told Mommy I wanted to be a princess when I was seven. Now I’m eight.

Maze: And?

Trixie: Halloween’s supposed to be the one night you get to be whatever you want.

Maze: What do you want to be?

(Trixie smiles.)

(Chloe closes the vending machine door Lucifer left open. Dan walks in.)

Chloe: (to self) Where did he go?

Dan: Hey. I’ve been talking to the food truck owner’s wife. She doesn’t recognize the zombie bride and doesn’t think she has any connection to her husband.

Chloe: Two victims, two devastated spouses. Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way.

(Chloe and Dan enter another room where Freddy’s wife sits waiting.)

Chloe: Mrs. Loomis, I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot. I have one more question for you, okay? (handing her a picture of the bride and groom) Do you recognize this man?

Mrs. Loomis: Yes, that’s Edgar… Romero.

Chloe: How do you know him?

Mrs. Loomis: We’ve worked together. I’m a doctor. He’s a lawyer. He handles many of our hospital’s malpractice suits. (Chloe and Dan exchange looks.) He’s married to the other victim?

Chloe: Yes, but the connection we’ve been looking for isn’t between them, it’s between you, the spouses.

Dan: (to Chloe) So, you think the shooter’s upset because of one of these malpractice suits?

Chloe: (to Dan) Maybe. Maybe he’s taking it out on their loved ones. (to Mrs. Loomis) Can you give us a list of all the cases that Edgar litigated for you? (Mrs. Loomis nods.)

(Chloe and Lucifer enter from the far end of the hall.)

Chloe: When are you gonna tell me what’s going on with you? Do you want to talk about it?

Lucifer: Why would I want to do that?

Chloe: ‘Cause that’s what partners do. They talk. I can tell you about my headaches living with Maze and you can tell me what’s going on with you.

Lucifer: Pass.

Chloe: Lucifer, seriously, whatever you’re going through… I don’t know, maybe I can help.

Lucifer: (snorts) How? By giving me a warm, fuzzy hug?

(Dan comes out from one of the offices.)

Dan: They won’t release the damn case files. Some crap about new HIPAA laws requiring extra warrants. It could be days before we get a judge to sign off on that.

Lucifer: Oh, well, it looks like Detective Douche is the one who needs a hug. (Lucifer wraps his arms around Dan and aggressively pats him.) Mm, come here, Daniel. Mm.

Dan: (Pushes Lucifer off him.) Get off me, man.

Lucifer: Uh, Daniel, if you want to talk about your feelings, Detective Decker is offering. Why don’t give you two a minute so you can talk about your earth-shattering problems?

(Lucifer walks away towards the office Dan just came from.)

Dan: (to Chloe) What was that?

Chloe: I told you something’s going on with him. I’m getting worried.

Dan: Yeah, well, honestly, Chloe, we have bigger things to worry about right now.

Chloe: I know.

Dan: I’ll see if I can expedite the warrants, and, uh, call the lieutenant.

Chloe: Right.

(Lucifer comes back with a stack of hospital files and gives them to Chloe.)

Lucifer: Here you go. Merry Christmas. Or should I say, Happy Halloween?

Dan: Are these the files?

Chloe: Where did you get these?

Lucifer: Well, if you ask permission, people can say no, but flash a badge to the right sap and voilà. (He holds up a gold detective badge.)

Dan: (grabbing it out of Lucifer’s hand.) This is mine.

Lucifer: All right, chill out, Daniel. What’s a little badge borrowing between friends? I mean, at least I didn’t have to use this. (Pulls out a gun.)

Dan: (Takes the gun back.) You stole my gun and my badge? What the hell is the matter with you?!

Chloe: Hey, guys…

Dan: Are you gonna take his side in this right now? Is that what you’re doing?

Lucifer: Well, I got the files, didn’t I? I did what I had to do.

Dan: Oh, please, don’t give me that crap. You never do what you have to do, Lucifer. You only ever do what you want to.

Lucifer: (serious) That is not true. There’s a lot of things that I didn’t want to do.

Dan: Oh, really?

Lucifer: Yes. Because if I only ever did what I wanted to do, then right now, I’d do this. (Lucifer punches Dan in the face, he falls back groaning.)

Chloe: (to Lucifer) What the hell is wrong with you?!

Lucifer: Why are you so surprised, Detective?! I’m the Devil, remember? I’m evil!

Chloe: (pointing at him) No, what you are is off this case. You go home now. You’re done. Go!

(Lucifer turns and walks back down the corridor looking stern.)

Chloe: (to Dan) Are you okay?

Dan: Not really.

Chloe: All right, well… let’s get you checked out and return the files.

Dan: What if we hold off for a bit? I don’t agree with what Lucifer did. But there’s still a killer out there. And these files might be the key to stopping him.

Chloe: Are you suggesting we keep them?

Dan: More like borrow.

(The Goddess leads Amenadiel through the woods as they talk.)

Amenadiel: Where are we going, Mom?

Goddess: You’ll see soon enough. But first, we need to get something straight. Uriel’s death was not your fault.

Amenadiel: How can you say that, Mom?

Goddess: Do you remember when you boys were young? Uriel always playing pranks on Lucifer to get your Father’s attention?

Amenadiel: Annoying little runt.

Goddess: And he never got in trouble for it because you took the blame.

Amenadiel: Just looking out for my little brother, Mom.

Goddess: No, it’s more than that. You have welcomed responsibility your entire life. Don’t you think you deserve a break?

Amenadiel: Mom, you just don’t understand.

Goddess: Don’t you think I feel responsible, too? All of this fighting has been over me. Uriel is gone forever because of me, not you.

Amenadiel: How can you say that, Mom? You did everything that you could do. You volunteered to go back to Hell. You stepped up and did the right thing.

Goddess: Isn’t that all you’ve been doing? Trying to please your Father by doing what you think is right? You shouldn’t be punished. You should be rewarded.

Amenadiel: You really think so?

Goddess: If your Father was down here…

Goddess: …he would see that.

Goddess: This is where Lucifer buried your brother.

(Lucifer is sitting at the bar, depressed and hunched over a shot.)

(Lucifer looks over and sees a man wearing a trench coat, with his back to Lucifer, who looks like Uriel.)

Lucifer: (standing up) Uriel?

(Lucifer, looking at the man, steps towards him and into the path of a young woman. They collide.)

Woman: (She exclaims) Oh!

Lucifer: (to woman) I am… so sorry.

Woman: Oh, no. No worries. It’s not your fault.

(She moves on. Lucifer looks up to see the man turns around and it’s not Uriel. Lucifer sits back down, shaken.)

(Dan and Chloe are reviewing information about the case that is spread out on the table.)

Chloe: Okay, so, these are all the cases that involve both Dr. Loomis and our zombie groom Edgar. Six settled, three pending, and that last one there was recently dismissed.

Dan: Wrongful death suit thrown out for lack of evidence. That’s frustrating. Could be motive.

Chloe: Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe our plaintiff was pissed about the dismissal, decided to settle his grievances another way.

Dan: Let’s see… plaintiff, Wes Williams. He sued for his wife Cassandra’s death after she lost a battle with… Oh man, I can’t even pronounce this… Lymphangioleiomyomatosis?

Chloe: Yeah. Lung disease.

Dan: Yeah, well, it looks like Wes blamed Cassandra’s physician, our Dr. Sidney Loomis, and the hospital’s lawyer, Edgar Romero, got the case thrown out.

Chloe: It’s no one’s fault for a disease like that.

Dan: Yeah, well, apparently, Wes didn’t feel that way.

(Dan tosses a file folder down and looks upset.)

Chloe: What’s wrong?

Dan: Nothing, I just… I kind of feel bad for the guy’s situation, you know? I mean, I-I don’t know what I would do if my wife…

Chloe: Yeah, right. Well, what you wouldn’t do is start revenge killing a bunch of innocent people.

(They smile at each other.)

Dan: Good point.

Chloe: Okay, let’s see if our Wes Williams is in the system. (She walks over to the computer. computer beeps) No criminal record. But he fits the description. Look at that. He’s an ATF agent.

Dan: Nicknamed “The Ghost.” He served multiple assignments in Mexico trying to take down the cartels. Specializes in… long-range marksmanship.

(Officers use a battering ram to breakdown the door and enter, along with Dan and Chloe, weapons ready.)

Officer: Let’s go.

Officer: Go! Other side. Hallway clear. Clear!

Officer: Clear!

Chloe: Clear. (She sees the suspect’s computer and what he was working on.) He’s making counterfeit badges for Strode Pharmaceuticals.

(We see the suspect wearing a white lab coat. The fake badge he created is hanging from a pocket. He is carrying a guitar case and walks through the downstairs hallway unnoticed.)

(Doorbell rings. The front door opens to reveal Trixie and Maze standing on the porch.)

Trixie: Trick or treat!

(A man, dressed as a pirate opens the door and leans down to talk to Trixie.)

Man: Oh, and what are you, young lady?

Maze: She’s the president of Mars. Duh.

Trixie: Yeah… duh. President of Mars! (She holds up a black leather whip.)

Man: All right. (The man chuckles and takes one piece of candy out of the kettle he is holding and places the candy in Trixie’s pumpkin container.)

(Trixie turns to leave but Maze does not budge. She just stares at the man intently and steps up on the step next to Trixie. Looking intimidated the man grabs more candy and puts in Trixie’s pumpkin. Maze has her arms crossed and still looks at him unmoved. The man opens up his wallet and pulls out a few bills. Maze snaps her fingers to hurry him up as he places the bills in Trixie’s container. Maze seems to be satisfied, turns and they leave. The man seems bewildered but says nothing.)

(Trixie and Maze walk down the walkway and then down the street on the sidewalk. Maze now holds the whip.)

Trixie: Isn’t this fun?

Maze: I expected worse.

Trixie: (sighs) I wish you wore a costume.

Maze: Well, I, uh… I did bring something. Do you want to see it?

Trixie: Yeah.

Maze: Turn around.

(whooshing and low rumble)

Maze: I’m ready.

(When Trixie turns back around, she sees half of Maze’s face is her real demon face. Maze looks nervous.)

Trixie: Cool!

Maze: (exhales nervously)

Trixie: (grabs Maze’s hand) We’re gonna get so much candy. (both chuckle)

(Inside LUX: Indistinct conversation. Lucifer sits at the piano smoking. A waitress put a shot glass down on the piano. Lucifer puts out his cigarette in it then slowly starts playing Metallica’s “Unforgiven”)

(At Uriel’s Grave)

Amenadiel: (to The Goddess) Why? Why did you bring me here?

Goddess: You have been so focused on blame… you haven’t let yourself grieve.

Amenadiel: This isn’t right. None of it. Why did he do this?

Goddess: Lucifer was just trying…

Amenadiel: No, Mom. Not Lucifer, Father. How did He let this happen?

Goddess: Son, it’s okay. Just let it out. Let it all… out.

(At LUX Lucifer continues playing “The Unforgiven”)

Goddess: I blame Father for this.

Amenadiel: You’re right, Mom, where is he? If he wanted to, he could’ve prevented all of this from happening. All the misunderstandings, all the pain. Well, I’m done. I’m done trying to please someone who isn’t ever here.

(At LUX Lucifer succumbs to his despair and plays a discordant chord. He slowly closes the lid on the keys then lets it drop with a bang.)

Lucifer: (Panting he partially stands and screams at everyone) Out! All of you out! Go on! Go!

(He sits back down, grabs the shot to drink, and then sees the cigarette floating in it and slams it down on the piano top. seems to have made a decision, gets up and leaves.)

(Chloe drives as Dan looks at information on a tablet as they race towards the hospital.)

Chloe: Anything connecting our shooter to Strode Pharmaceuticals?

Dan: Yeah. Right here. Wes Williams took part in one of their clinical drug trials. A “promising new treatment” for her lung disease.

Chloe: Not promising enough to save her.

Dan: No. Turns out she was in the placebo group.

Chloe: Is that why he’s pissed off? Who put her there?

Dan: No one, really. It was a double-blind, so just like the doctor and the lawyer, no one’s at fault here.

Chloe: So who does our shooter think is at fault? Who ran the trials?

Dan: Dr. Jack Peterson.

Chloe: And since Williams is targeting spouses, if we find Mrs. Peterson, assuming…

Dan: No, wait… crap.

Chloe: What?

Dan: It also says that the trial was run by a Dr. Sally Peterson. They’re a husband and wife team.

Chloe: Great. Who’s the target?

Dan: Well, it could be either one. We got to get to both of them.

Chloe: Yeah, before he does.

(Chloe and Dan enter Dr. Peterson’s office. He’s sitting behind his desk.)

Dan: (speaking urgently) Dr. Peterson? LAPD.

Chloe: Your wife, Sally. Where is she?

Dr. Jack Peterson: What’s going on?

Chloe: I’ll explain later. Where’s your wife?

Dr. Jack Peterson: Probably getting a coffee from the coffee cart in the lobby.

Chloe: (to Dan as she rushes out) Okay, you stay with him. I’ll find her.

Dan: You be careful.

Chloe: Right.

Dan: (to the doctor) You stay put.

(In the lobby at the coffee kiosk Dr. Sally Peterson takes her coffee from the attendant.)

Attendant: Here you go.

Dr. Sally Peterson: Thank you. (she turns and takes a cautious sip from of coffee.)

(Chloe is now up at the first-floor railing looking down on Dr. Sally in the lobby below. We now see Dr. Sally through the crosshairs of a rifle. Just then Lucifer arrives, steps in front of Dr. Sally, and starts talking loud enough for someone on the upper floors could hear. Dr. Sally freezes where she stands.)

Lucifer: I know you’re out there, Mr. Sniper!

(After a long moment a gunshot hits a container of straws on the kiosk. Chloe is looking around and above her for the shooter.)

Lucifer: Oh, come on! You can do better than that! (exhales) Shoot me! Well, go on, then! What are you waiting for? Just shoot me right now. Please!

Chloe: Lucifer, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Uh-oh! Police are here! Gonna have to hurry up, Mr. Shooter, sir.

(Screaming and people scatter. Another shot misses everyone.)

Lucifer: Seriously? I mean, I’m standing right here. (another shot misses) Right. You’re just embarrassing yourself, now. I mean, could you be any worse of a shot? (another shot misses)

(Chloe has made her way upstairs to an overlooking section that is under construction. She pushes back some plastic to enter with her gun drawn.)

Lucifer: Oh, come on. Che… (another five gunshot fire and miss)(turns and says to Dr. Sally) It’s like he’s not even trying.

(Chloe continues to creep through the construction area. Another gunshot misses.)

Lucifer: Not her, you idiot… me! Shoot me!

(Chloe now sees the shooter who is bracing his rifle against metal scaffolding. He hears her behind him. The shooter tries to point his rifle at Chloe but it is stopped by the scaffolding.)

Chloe: (gun drawn she yells) Drop your weapon now.

(Realizing he’s caught, he gives up peacefully.)

(A little while later the scene is full of police. At the front entrance, Lucifer sits pensively on a bench near the door.)

(Distant sirens wailing, officers move about, Chloe walks shooter towards the front entrance where Lucifer is waiting.)

Lucifer: (pointing at shooter) You. Why didn’t you shoot me?

Wes: Shoot you?

Lucifer: I was standing right here, fair game. Why didn’t you do it?

Wes: Because you didn’t deserve it.

Lucifer: (serious) How do you know what I deserve?

Wes: I was trying to scare you away from her. I only wanted the people who killed Cassandra to suffer like…

Lucifer: What…?

Wes: Like I’m suffering.

Lucifer: You idiot!

Chloe: Lucifer.

Lucifer: The doctor, the lawyer, that woman… They didn’t kill your wife! They aren’t responsible!

(Wes looks sheepishly at the ground.)

Lucifer: But you know that. You hold someone else accountable, don’t you?

Wes: If I hadn’t been on mission so long… Been home when Cassandra needed me… we could’ve detected it sooner. She would still be alive.

Lucifer: Yes. So it’s not vengeance you want. It’s punishment. Well, now you’ve got it. Good for you.

Dan: I got this. (takes Wes by the arm and walks him out the front doors.)

Chloe: (to Lucifer) Hey. How did you find us?

Lucifer: Just called the station chief. Got all the details.

Chloe: (angry) What you just did was extremely reckless and stupid. But you saved that woman’s life.

Lucifer: I couldn’t care less about that woman’s life.

Chloe: So, what, you were just trying to get yourself killed?

(Lucifer looks like he’s been caught.)

Chloe: No. I don’t buy it. Every time you say that you don’t care, or that you’re evil, or you’re the Devil, I know that’s not who you really are.

Lucifer: You don’t know a thing about who I am, Detective. Or what I’ve done.

Chloe: (having a realization) You weren’t just talking about Wes back there, were you? You want to be punished for something. That’s why you’ve been acting out recently. Just talk to me, Lucifer, please. Just tell me what’s going on. I’m here for you, okay? I… I just want to understand.

Lucifer: You can’t understand, Detective. And you never will.

Chloe: Well, if you won’t talk to me, then… please, talk to someone else. You have a therapist. Talk to her, before it eats you alive.

(Chloe enters a dark and quiet apartment except for strange noises on the TV. Chloe seems concerned that her young daughter would be watching a horror movie. We hear gasps. A woman and man. There are cackles. A creature squeaking. A woman screams.)

(Chloe walks into the living room to find Maze and Trixie asleep together on the sofa. Chloe covers them with a blanket and lets them be.)

Dr. Linda: I’m glad you changed your mind. Are you ready to talk about your brother?

Lucifer: His name is… was Uriel. And ever since he died, I’ve been having this… strange feeling. Something I’ve never felt before. Guilt.

Dr. Linda: Why do you feel guilty?

Lucifer: Uriel didn’t just die. I killed him. I’ve never… killed anyone before. Only punished those already dead. You know, back when I used to run Hell. But… (he leans forward and takes a drink of water) A stubborn Uriel… he-he gave me no choice. He came down from the Silver City to collect on the deal that I made with Dad. Intent on killing the detective or smiting Mum out of existence.

Dr. Linda: Lucifer…

Lucifer: He brought Azrael’s blade with him, which is a… a divine dagger that destroys your soul, it doesn’t just kill you. It… wipes you out…

Dr. Linda: Lucifer, enough. (exhales) I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep track of all these elaborate metaphors.

Lucifer: But it’s not a metaphor, Doctor. You need to take me seriously. You need to believe what I’m saying. Otherwise, you’ll never understand… I’m a monster. A monster who… deserves to be punished.

Dr. Linda: I believe you feel that way. (sighs) And I want to understand. I truly do! But, Lucifer, you have to help me. I need you to be honest with me. Completely honest… about who you are.

Lucifer: Completely honest? Are you sure?

Dr. Linda: Yes. Yes, I’m sure. That’s what all of these sessions… Our entire relationship… Is all about. Getting to know the real Lucifer. (exhales) No more lies. No more metaphors.

Lucifer: Very well.

(Lucifer reveals to Dr. Linda his devil face. She does not move. Lucifer looks like he’s saying, ‘well, there it is, the real me.’)

Lucifer: (quietly) Doctor?

(Dr. Linda sits frozen he lips trembling.)

Lucifer: Uh…

(Lucifer, realizing Dr. Linda is traumatized, slowly stands up, goes, and opens the door. On his way out he looks back to see she has not moved a muscle. He leaves the door slightly open and leaves.)