S2 Ep07: My Little Monkey

16 May 2026 / 16 May 2026 by Victoria

(Flashback: Officer stands at the counter talking to the store owner, showing him how he is making a sandwich.)

Officer Decker: Sloths move faster, Petey. Snails. The humble tortoise.

Petey: You can’t rush perfection.

Officer Decker: This is true.

Petey: (hands officer the wrapped sandwich) Hawaiian bread. Just the way you like it.

Officer Decker: Thanks, Petey.

Petey: No, thank you, Officer Decker.

Officer Decker: Before I forget… (pulls two movie tickets out of his pocket) for you and Grace.

Petey: Hot Tub High School?

Officer Decker: Opens Friday. My little monkey’s gonna be a star.

Petey: We wouldn’t miss it.

Officer Decker: Do me a favor. I hear there’s some funny business about 15 minutes in…

Petey: Oh, you mean that scene where…

Officer Decker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s not finish that thought. Just tell her it was a good movie.

Petey: Kids these days.

Officer Decker: Yeah, I know. But, hey… I’m proud of her.

(Bell on door sounds as someone enters. Petey, looking behind Officer Decker, stops smiling.)

Officer Decker: You okay, Petey? (Officer Decker turns to see a hooded robber pointing a gun; he raises his hand) Hey, listen…

(Robber fires gun into Officer Decker’s chest. He falls to the floor dead. Petey yelps.)

Robber: Hand over the cash.

Petey: Yes, don’t shoot.

Robber: Come on.

Petey: Here, here, here you go, don’t shoot.

Robber: Hurry up. Empty the whole thing. Come on, let’s go, let’s go.

(Chloe stands in front of her desk speaking insistently on her cellphone.)

Chloe: No, Warden, you listen to me. This man killed my father. He cannot be released.

(Chloe ends the call and exhales forcefully. She then walks around the desk and sits down as Lucifer arrives.)

Lucifer: Detective! I have a bone to pick with you.

Chloe: Not a good time, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Agreed. It’s a horrible time. Dr. Linda just canceled my session. She won’t take my calls. I think I… truly scared her off.

Chloe: (only half-listening) Something happened with your shrink?

Lucifer: Yes… and it’s all your fault. I mean, you’re the one who suggested I open up to her. Well, smashing advice, Detective.

Chloe: I don’t have time for this right now.

Lucifer: What, do we have a case?

Chloe: I’m dealing with my own issues.

Lucifer: Oh! Even better. Let’s solve those, shall we?

Chloe: Lucifer, stop! I’m sorry, but there is no way that you can help me right now. You’re just… you’re too you.

Lucifer: (sits on the edge of the desk and ruminates out loud) Oh. Yes, you’re right, Detective. Being me seems to be a problem, doesn’t it? Everywhere I go, someone gets hurt. Well, clearly, I need to be Not-Me instead. Someone… better, more helpful. More boring.

(As Lucifer ponders, Dan walks up and sets a cup of coffee on the desk in front of Chloe.)

Dan: Okay… got you a hot, soy latte, extra foam.

Chloe: Thank you.

Dan: You okay, Chloe?

Chloe: Mm-hmm. All good. Just on my way out. (Lucifer barely notices as she walks away.)

Dan: Something’s seriously bothering her.

Lucifer: Hmm? Oh, I hadn’t noticed. (Having a revelation, he eyes Dan with interest.) But you did.

Scene: Outside California State Penitentiary

(Gate lock buzzes, latch clicks. Chloe stands facing the Warden with her back to the exit gate.)

Chloe: This isn’t right, Warden. Joe Fields is a convicted murderer, a cop killer. You’re letting him off on family leave?

Warden: Detective, I understand how you feel.

Chloe: (angry) Oh, respectfully, there is no way you understand how I feel.

Warden: I’m sorry. I know it’s your father we’re talking about, but… this wasn’t my call. Fields has been a model prisoner for over a decade. He lobbied the Prisoner’s Rights Board and they said yes.

Chloe: What’s he gonna do with his leave? Go destroy another family?

Warden: It’s for his granddaughter’s christening.

Chloe: My dad never got to go to his granddaughter’s christening. Where is the justice in that?

Warden: I’m sorry, Detective. I wish there was something we could do.

(Chloe sighs in frustration. The gate lock buzzes, latch clicks. Chloe turns her head to see Joe Fields exiting the prison. He smiles. She looks away, angry.)

Scene: Inside Chloe’s Police Car

(Chloe sits watching prison guards put Joe Fields in the back of a transport vehicle. Her phone rings.)

Chloe: Uh… Decker.

Lucifer: (He’s at the police station, standing on the walkway above the detective desks.) Ah, Detective! I think I may have found a way to make myself useful.

Chloe: (not really listening) What? It’s not a good time, Lucifer.

Lucifer: What if I told you I wasn’t Lucifer anymore?

Chloe: What?

Lucifer: (He watches Dan from the walkway above.) I’ve decided to try to walk a mile in another man’s shoes. See the world from a different perspective. I’m going to learn how to Douche. I… may have to rephrase that one. But do I have your permission to follow Daniel and…

(Vehicle holding Joe Fields drives by her.)

Chloe: Yeah, do whatever. I got to go. (she hangs up)

Lucifer: Hello? I’ll take that as a yes.

Dan: Yeah, I’m just following up on… Uh, yeah.

(Lucifer continues to watch Dan, who now sees Lucifer eyeing him and becomes uncomfortable.)

Scene: Chloe Follows Transport Vehicle

(Chloe has lost sight of a vehicle and then sees it stopped in an alleyway. She pulls up, gets out with her gun drawn. She finds the two guards in the front seat dead from gunshots.)

Chloe: Joe Fields. Come out. You’re not gonna get away with this. Joe Fields…

(The back door opens. Inside, she finds Joe Fields also dead.)

Dan: I still don’t get it, man. Why the hell are you following me around all of a sudden?

Lucifer: Because I want to learn what it’s like to be you, Daniel. Your approach to life intrigues me.

Dan: (laughs dryly) This from the guy who punched me in the face?

Lucifer: That was last week. Anyway, the detective already agreed to it. You’re the department bottom, so you have to do as she says.

Dan: What’s this really about?

Lucifer: (sighs) Look, people like you. They find you helpful, like duct tape or a trusty socket wrench. I want you to teach me your secret. I want you to show me how to be a tool.

Dan: You should stay out of the way. Follow my lead. I call all the shots, you understand?

Lucifer: This feels like something that you would agree to, so yes.

Dan turns away from Lucifer and walks toward the crime scene.

Dan: To Chloe What do we got?

Chloe: Three gunshot victims, shot execution style.

Ella: Dusting for fingerprints The van driver got a single bullet to the neck, guard got one to the head. The prisoner got a double-tap to the chest. The prisoner’s name is Joe Fields.

Dan: Wait a minute, the Joe Fields? As in…

Chloe: Yeah.

Ella: The guy that killed my father.

Chloe: They targeted him while he was vulnerable. This was a hit, Dan.

Ella: W-Wait a second. The guy who killed your dad was just murdered, and you caught the case?

Chloe: Yeah.

Ella: That is totally messed up.

Chloe: Mm-hmm.

Ella: Are you okay?

Chloe: Yeah, I’m fine.

Lucifer: Fine? You should be ecstatic. (laughs) Your father’s killer just got the ultimate punishment.

Dan: Who was first on the scene?

Chloe: It was me. I made the call.

Dan: You followed him?

Chloe: Yeah. I know this looks bad.

Dan: You stalked your father’s murderer right before he was killed.

Lucifer: That was a terrible move, Detective. Looking at Dan It was, right?

Dan: What were you planning to do, Chloe? Crash the christening?

Chloe: I don’t know, Dan! I was angry. The guy killed my father. He had the nerve to smile at me. Do you have any idea what that feels like?

Dan: No. No, I don’t. But you still shouldn’t have followed him. No one actually thinks that you did this, but you know what it looks like, right?

Chloe: Yes, I do. That’s why I’m gonna step away from the case. It’s a massive conflict of interest.

Dan: Don’t worry, Chloe. I’m gonna stay on this.

Lucifer: Yes, Detective Dan and I won’t rest until we catch the killer.

Dan: I don’t think that it’s a good idea for Lucifer to be part of this case.

Lucifer: I agree. I mean, the last thing this case needs is a loose canon. She needs someone like you. A reliable, helpful, boring detective. Now, the good news is that’s me as well now. So, the Dans are on the case.

Dan: Can’t you take anything seriously, man?

Lucifer: I assure you, I’m taking this very seriously.

Dan: Oh, really? You’re doing a great job of showing that.

Chloe: Guys. It would mean a lot to me if you worked together on this.

Dan: Hmm. Of course, Chloe.

Ella enters the room holding a tablet.

Ella: Okay, so… whoa, this looks heavy. Like waiting-for-STD-results heavy. (whispering) I can come back later.

Chloe: Oh, no, it’s fine. What is it?

Ella: Okay, so I went through all the prints from the van. Okay? And all of them cleared as prison personnel except for an ex-con named Rodney Lam. And get this… he served time with Joe Fields.

Dan: We’re on it.

Lucifer: We’re on it.

Dan and Lucifer move past Ella to leave the room.

Ella: To Lucifer Nice. You working on a new role?

Lucifer: Hmm? (scoffs)

Chloe is cooking. Trixie sits at the counter. Maze enters from the bedroom, adjusting her skin-tight dress.

Chloe: You’re wearing that to an interview? What’s the job?

Maze: Preschool aide.

Trixie: Do you like little kids?

Maze: (chuckles) I’ve dealt with filthy, screaming humans before. At least these are smaller.

Chloe: I’m not sure this is you.

Trixie: Ms. Perez says we should choose jobs we love doing. So, what about you, Maze? What do you love to do?

Maze: Pauses to consider… I don’t know.

Trixie: Well… just be yourself.

Maze: Thanks, little human. Maze walks towards the door.

Trixie: Takes a bite of a thick sandwich. So good.

Chloe: Well, the secret ingredient is the Hawaiian bread. And then you just cut a hole in the middle for the egg.

Trixie: Can we have this for every meal?

Chloe: You know, this one used to be my favorite, too. Grandpa used to bring me this sandwich every Thursday after acting class.

Trixie: Why don’t you ever talk about Grandpa?

Chloe: Mm… I guess ’cause I miss him.

Trixie: Do you think he would’ve brought me sandwiches?

Chloe: Mm-hmm. I think he would’ve loved that, monkey.

(knocking at the door)

Chloe: Come on. It’s time for your homework.

Trixie takes the sandwich to her bedroom, and Chloe goes and answers the door. She opens the door to find a woman standing there.

Chloe: Can I help you?

Woman: Chloe Decker? Pulls a gun from her bag and points it at Chloe. You’re gonna pay for what you’ve done.

Chloe: Okay, take it easy.

Woman: Slowly walks through the door, pointing the gun at Chloe. My father was a good man. She closes the door behind her, still looking at Chloe. He didn’t deserve to get gunned down like an animal. All he wanted was to meet my daughter.

Chloe: You’re Tina Fields.

Tina: You killed my father.

Chloe: I didn’t…

Tina: You thought you were getting revenge, but you murdered an innocent man.

Chloe: Tina, think about your baby. If you pull that trigger, you’ll never hold her again.

Trixie: Mommy? Who’s here?

Startled, Tina looks towards the bedroom, and Chloe takes the opportunity to grab the gun and point it at Tina as she calls to Trixie.

Chloe: It’s nothing, honey. Stay in your room! To Tina. I didn’t kill your father. Puts the gun in her waistband and whispers You have to believe me.

Trixie: Walks into the living room. Mommy, is everything okay?

Tina looks horrified and upset.

Chloe: Yeah, honey. Everything’s fine, monkey. Go back in your room. Trixie heads back to her room. Mommy just needs to help another mommy, okay?

Tina: Upset Oh, God, I’m sorry. I was just so angry. I never wanted to believe my dad killed a cop. And then today, when I got the video…

Chloe: What video?

Tina: Reaches into her bag. His lawyers sent this to me. Said I was to receive it upon the event of his death.

Chloe put the tape into a camcorder and begins to watch it.

Lucifer approaches wearing a t-shirt, hoodie, and jeans, with his hair styled like Dan’s.

Lucifer: Ah. Sorry, not sorry. I had to stop for a costume change.

Dan: Nice jacket.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Dan: Realizing that Lucifer is dressed like him. Oh, man, what the hell? Are you here to work, or are you here to play games?

Lucifer: I’ll have you know I take the School of Dan quite seriously, even if it does involve skinny-fit jeans. Any news on our suspect?

Dan: His name is Rodney Lam. A CI told me that he’s obsessed with this place. He eats here all the time. So if he shows up, let’s try to see him before he sees us.

Lucifer: Oh, I get it now. So your boring attire is like camo for the average Joe. Blend in, catch the baddie off guard. Afterward, they’ll forget you’re even there. That is very clever, Daniel.

Dan: This guy has a serious history of violence. All right? He might have a gun. He might take a hostage. Who knows what he could do?

Lucifer: So he wouldn’t, say, be openly eating a nacho burrito dog, sitting on that car?

Dan: Pulls his gun and heads towards Rodney. You watch my six.

Lucifer: Absolutely.

Dan: Pointing his gun. Rodney Lam. LAPD. No sudden moves. You’re under arrest.

Rodney doesn’t look up and keeps on eating.

Dan: Rodney?

Lucifer: Maybe we blend in so well he doesn’t even see us.

Dan: Shouts. Rodney Lam! Rodney raises one hand, burrito in the other. Good call, Rodney. Nice and easy.

Rodney: Oh. I just wanted one last meal. You want a bite? Aah!

Lucifer: No, thank you, we’re not doing carbs, To Dan are we?

We are looking at the video of Joe Fields talking to the camera.

(clears throat) Baby… It’s Daddy. If, uh, you’re watching this, that means I’m dead. Now, I know it sucks. I don’t know if you’ll get this tomorrow or, uh, 30 years from now, but I want you to know the truth. I didn’t kill that cop. I’m sorry for… missing all your birthdays and graduation… your life. But Daddy wants you to know, baby… I love you.

Tina: Stops the tape. See? He’s innocent.

Chloe: Tina, I can tell your dad loves you very much, but… this video doesn’t prove anything.

Tina: His lawyers had this tape for 16 years. He made them promise to give it to me when he died. That has to mean something.

Chloe: Sixteen years. He recorded this the day my father was killed.

Chloe starts the video with sound off. (camera beeps) She looks closely at the sign outside the window behind Joe, which shows the date and time.

Chloe: Three minutes before he died. What part of town is this?

Tina: It’s our old apartment in Venice.

Chloe: My father was killed across the city in Koreatown. There’s no way your father could have recorded this and gotten to the crime scene in time.

Tina: So it’s true. He didn’t do it.

Chloe: Shakes her head, ‘no’. Which means whoever did kill my father got away with this and is still out there. (breathes deeply, exhales)

Rodney: I did it. I killed Joe Fields. He disrespected me in the yard. So when I heard that he was getting some sort of temporary leave, I knew that it was my chance to make things right.

Lucifer: Well, there you have it. Looks like our douching paid off. The detective will be pleased. To Dan. And you know, you make it look so easy.

Dan: Where did you say you stopped that van again?

Rodney: Spring and College.

Dan: We found it at Hill.

Rodney: That’s what I meant.

Dan: Then you went, and you emptied the clip into the driver, right?

Rodney: Hell yeah.

Dan: The driver died from a single shot to the neck.

Rodney: Dan One, why are you spoiling a perfectly good confession?

Dan: You’re lying, Rodney. You don’t know the facts because you didn’t do it.

Lucifer: Oh, I see what you did there. Gosh, that’s why you’re Dan One.

Dan: Why are you confessing to a crime you didn’t commit?

Dan throws up his hands, grabs papers off the desk, and heads for the door.

Lucifer: Where are you going? Well, just slow your roll for a second. I think, for the sake of the detective, I’m gonna take a time-out from my Dansformation.

(Dan stops at the door and inhales, exhales dramatically)

Dan: (chuckling and shaking his head) Oh, God.

Lucifer: Looking at Rodney intently. Rodney, what do you want out of life, hmm?

Rodney: To be a good provider and take care of my family.

Lucifer: So you confess to a crime you didn’t commit. That’s quite counterintuitive.

Dan: Unless you got paid to do it. You’ve been locked up for most of your life. That’s all you know. Now you’re free, you’ve got mouths to feed, no way to earn.

Rodney: Out here, I’m no one, guys. And if we don’t arrest you, you don’t get any money.

Lucifer: But if he really wants back in the slammer, then false confession’s a criminal offense, correct?

Dan: Definitely an obstruction of justice.

Lucifer: Mm.

Dan: Could get you a few years.

Lucifer: We could get you a narcoleptic lawyer and a merciless judge. Who knows? With your prior history, they might throw the book at you. Hmm?

Rodney: All right. Here’s how it went down. I put word out that I needed money; I was desperate. And some people came to me with an offer.

Maze: (banging on door) Linda, you there? I need a character reference.

Linda is hiding behind the door and tries to quietly lock it.

Maze: Linda? (doorknob rattles) (footfalls departing)

Linda: Linda backs away from the door and turns to go back to her desk and gasps when she sees Maze leaning against the desk Wha…? Can you teleport?

Maze: (laughs) What? No. You left your window open.

Maze sees that Linda is scared and steps towards her

Maze: Hey, are you okay? Wait. You know, don’t you?

Linda nods.

Maze: He showed you.

Linda: I saw his face.

Maze: Well, you’re taking it really well, actually. Linda, you’re not afraid of me, are you?

Linda: Of course I am! You’re a demon. Chuckles and sniffles He told me. chuckles I thought it was a sexual metaphor.

Maze: Well, you’re not wrong there.

Linda: But you really are one. Aren’t you?

Maze: Yeah… I am. Is that really so bad?

Linda: sighs and turns to unlock the door Please go.

The door creaks open. Maze looks sad and hesitates, then steps towards the open door. Stops briefly next to Linda, then continues out the door. Linda quickly closes the door behind her.

Chloe comes in from outside and meets Dan and Lucifer in the entrance way.

Lucifer: Ah, Detective…

Chloe: Joe Fields didn’t kill my father.

Dan: Wait, what?

Chloe: He’s a fall guy. He made a false confession in exchange for regular payments to his daughter. All these years, she didn’t touch the money. She probably thought it was stolen. I have the account number that made the transfers.

Lucifer: Well, we just met a chap who did the same thing.

Chloe: What?

Dan: Rodney got paid to make a false confession. Money was transferred into his wife’s account right after we arrested him. Comparing Rodney’s bank account record to the one Chloe was holding. This is the same account that paid Rodney Lam’s wife.

Chloe: That’s no coincidence. So whoever killed Joe Fields killed my father… and is still out there.

Dan: Hey, don’t blame yourself. You were just a kid back then.

Chloe: Yeah, well, I’m not anymore. (indistinct police radio chatter)

Chloe is struggling to carry very large binders down the stairs

Officer: Hey, rookie! You’re late!

Chloe: I thought I was early.

Officer: Your FTO’s been looking all over for you. What, you want to get written up on your first day?

Chloe: No, I-I honestly thought…

Dan: Knock it off, McMillan. Get back to work. McMillan and Dan chuckle You gotta watch out for this guy. He gave me hell on my first day, too. McMillian leaves, and Dan turns to Chloe. Hi.

Chloe: Hi.

Dan: Reaches out his hand I’m Dan Espinoza.

Chloe: shaking Dan’s hand Chloe Decker.

Dan: Nice to meet you. Can I help you with those?

Chloe: Sure. hands Dan the binders

Dan: Come on, I’ll show you around. The most important place, first, is the kitchen. Chloe stops in front of a wall of name plates and gently touches one of them, chuckles to herself We got bagels over here if you want them. Interrogation’s that way… and the lab is that way. Stops when he sees Chloe is not listening to him Are you John Decker’s daughter?

Chloe: nods

Dan: I-I’m so sorry. He’s kind of a legend around here. It was a little before my time, but he sounded like a great guy.

Chloe: The best.

Dan: points towards kitchen Um… bagel?

Chloe: smiles sweetly towards Dan

Chloe stands over a desk full of evidence boxes, looking at a paper

Lucifer: enters room, blowing faux fanfare Never fear, Luci-Dan is here. Or is it Douche-ifer? Actually, it’s got more of a ring to it, hasn’t it?

Chloe: Why are you two dressed the same?

Dan: Don’t ask. The bank account traces back to a bathhouse on Pico. It’s a dummy front for a Russian syndicate in L.A.

Chloe: So the real killer is somehow connected to the Russian mob?

Dan: We have a suspect. His name is Boris Sokolov. Owns the bathhouse. Connects criminals but keeps his own hands clean. No one has ever been able to get to him.

Lucifer: Yet. Detective Dan and I won’t rest until we get to the bottom of this, I promise you.

Chloe: (sighs)

Lucifer and Dan are standing in only bath towels

Lucifer: (American accent) Wow. Look who bought a ticket to the gun show! Divorce becomes you, Detective.

Dan: I do not sound like that.

Lucifer: Of course, we do. We sound like two totally normal dudes.

Dan: Will you cut it with the “we” stuff? I need you to stop playing around and take this seriously.

Lucifer: You got it, partner. This is gonna be epic.

Dan: Lucifer, I’m not kidding.

Lucifer: (sighs) (regular accent) Very well. So, what’s the plan?

Dan: Well, you are exactly the kind of person that Boris would deal with, so I need you to approach him, and try make a deal with him.

Lucifer: All right. Tell him I need a fall guy for a murder I’m gonna commit?

Dan: Exactly.

Lucifer: Hmm.

Dan: But like I said before, he spooks really easily. So, don’t go…

Lucifer: in a loud voice Boris!

Dan: Like that.

Bodyguard stands up between Lucifer and Boris

Lucifer: Hello there. Uh, I’d like to talk with you, if I may.

Boris: I don’t know you.

Lucifer: You don’t. So, let’s fix that, shall we? The name’s Dan.

Dan shoots Lucifer a look

Chloe stands over boxes, looking at papers

Ella: enters open doorway and motions behind her Deputy Warden’s here for you.

Chloe: Oh.

Deputy Warden: Joe Fields’ personal effects. We usually turn those over to the next of kin within 72 hours, but, uh… I thought it might help you, Detective.

Chloe: Thank you. The Warden opens the box that she put on the table in front of her. This is great. Thank you.

Deputy Warden: Well, if there’s anything else I can do to help, please let me know.

Chloe: (quietly) Thanks.

Deputy Warden leaves the room. Chloe looks up from the box to see Ella still standing in the doorway.

Chloe: I know. Joe Fields isn’t my case. I’ll just… I’ll leave it for Dan.

Ella: Well, I mean, nothing is stopping me from helping out with the Joe Fields case, while you tackle your dad’s, right? I mean, if it’s the same killer… divide and conquer.

Chloe: You don’t have to do that.

Ella: I kind of already started. Two policemen walk in carrying evidence boxes. Uh, right over here. Ella gestures thanks to them as they leave the room. Thanks. To Chloe Last six months of your dad’s paperwork. You know, incident reports, booking slips, arrest records. I mean, half of it’s on microfiche and, like, papyrus, but I don’t know, I thought it would help, you know, to figure out what your dad was working on when he was killed.

Chloe, touched by the gesture, walks over and embraces Ella.

Ella: See? I knew you were a hugger.

They separate, and Chloe goes back to where she was working

Ella: So. What do you got so far?

Chloe: It was a clever cover-up. But what kind of robber would be so well-connected? You know? They gave Joe Fields everything he needed to pose as my father’s killer. I mean, he confessed.

Ella: And he had the gun that was used in the shooting. Ballistics confirmed that it was the murder weapon. Well, yeah. No wonder it was case closed.

Chloe: Yeah. I-I… These prints are un-ID’d from the scene, but they could be the killer’s.

Ella: And did they ping anyone in the database?

Chloe: No. Dead end.

Ella: All right. Maybe I can dig a little deeper.

Chloe nods

Boris: So, tell me. Why would I help you two?

Lucifer: Because we’re just two regular fellows who need your help, Boris.

Boris: I don’t believe you.

Dan: Mr. Sokolov…

Boris: People call me a human lie detector because I look in my clients’ eyes, and I can know if they’re telling the truth.

Lucifer: Well, I respect that, Boris. I have a trick myself that’s quite similar, actually. And you’re right. We haven’t told you the whole truth. So… here it goes. I want someone dead.

Boris: Who?

Lucifer: Lucifer Morningstar.

Dan looks at Lucifer

Boris: And what has this person done to deserve death?

Lucifer: Well, he hurts people. And not just his enemies, those close to him, as well. In fact, I think he hurts them most of all.

Dan: Getting on board with the rouse He’s right. The guy’s violent, he’s a total loose cannon.

Lucifer: Yes. Believe me, when I say, Boris, that the world would be a better place without him.

Boris: You both have true hatred for this man.

Lucifer: Apparently so. Do we have a deal?

Boris: (sniffs) Go and take care of this Lucifer person. I’ll find you your patsy.

Lucifer: Lovely.

Lucifer and Boris shake hands on the deal

Officer escorts Boris into the room in handcuffs and sits him in a chair. Chloe is standing, clutching folders of paper.

Chloe: I hear you won’t talk. Okay. We have hard evidence linking your bank account to two different murders. What do you have to say about that? Boris smiles to himself I heard you’re a human lie detector, is that true? Boris shrugs. Chloe clears her throat One of those murders was my father. Chloe leans on the table and looks directly at Boris. It’s why I’m not on the case, and it’s why I’m not supposed to be in this room talking to you. But I’m not a cop right now, Boris. I’m a daughter. inhales, voice cracks And I’m not gonna let this go. So, you point me in the right direction… or I swear to God, I’m gonna make your life a living hell.

Boris: smiles I believe you.

Chloe: His name was John Decker.

Boris: Leans in and looks directly at Chloe I admit to nothing but I did once hear about a John Decker. And as I recall, he was sniffing somewhere he didn’t belong.

Chloe: What do you mean? My father was a beat cop at a robbery gone wrong.

Boris smiles knowingly and shrugs. Chloe knows what that means

Lucifer, still dressed like Dan, slowly paces until Dan walks in

Dan: Hey, man. I just want to say nice work earlier.

Lucifer: Was it?

Dan: Yeah. We got Boris. And I don’t know how you lied to him like that.

Lucifer: Well, it’s simple. I didn’t lie.

Dan: Well… (sighs) Well, then you have some serious issues, bro.

Lucifer: Obviously. I mean, why do you think I’m doing all this Dan-ing? (chuckles) Yet, you know, I’m still no closer to figuring out your secret.

Dan: Because I don’t have a secret.

Lucifer: Well, you must. One that explains how you’re able to be so… you know, frustratingly you.

Dan: You see, man… Hmm? I try to compliment you, and…

Chloe approaches them and says quietly Hey. I think my father’s death was a hit. I-It sounds like he stumbled onto something huge, and-and someone took him out for it.

Dan: Chloe, do you want me to help you with this?

Chloe: No. I-I… I got it on this end. But thank you.

Chloe, deep in thought, walks away

Lucifer: To Dan Well. (chuckles) Where to now, Twinsy? Hmm?

Dan, frustrated, waves Lucifer off

Chloe is standing in the kitchen, looking at paper inside a binder, as Maze walks in wearing a sexy maid’s uniform

Chloe: Wow. (sighs) What’s the job this time?

Maze: Topless Maids. But apparently, I still have to do some cleaning. (scoffs) Screw that.

Chloe: You okay?

Maze: No. I just… frustrated I can’t find the right job. My only friend stopped talking to me.

Chloe: Pointing at herself Only?

Maze: (soft laughter) Looking at the files on the kitchen counter. What’s all of this?

Chloe: My dad’s stuff from storage. After he died, the department boxed up his desk and sent it to us.

Maze: You find anything?

Chloe: Not yet. One of the cases he assisted on got him killed, and I have to figure out which one it is, but… It’s funny, he always talked about how he didn’t want to be a detective, how it was too much work, and yet… here he was doing all this detective work.

Maze: Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Chloe: Hmm. I tried a bunch of stuff, but… after my dad died, this just felt right.

Maze: Yeah, but like… how do you know what feels right?

Chloe: Mm… You just know.

They both nod

Dan is walking towards a building and enters. Lucifer is spying on him from around a corner, then follows Dan to the door.

Lucifer: No secret, indeed. So, what’s behind door number one, Daniel?

Inside the building, Lucifer pushes back a curtain hanging over the entrance to a room and peers in

Dan is sitting in a chair on-stage, making believe he is driving a car and imitating an engine revving

Lucifer: enters the room Oh, no, no. Not this.

Dan: imitates brake sound and leans to open an imaginary passenger side door for another improver

Lucifer: Better a snuff movie, a human centipede, clown p0rn, but not improv!

Man: Hey, thanks for picking me up, man. What’s your name?

Dan: (English accent) Lucifer… Morningstar.

Man: Wait, I’m hitchhiking with the Devil? (audience laughter)

Dan: Oh, yes indeed.

Man: I didn’t expect the Devil to be driving around L.A.

Dan: Oh, yes, I live here, actually. I do whatever I want.

Man: Oh, like what?

Dan: Drink, mostly. And insult people. You ponce. (laughter)

Dan: You got a girlfriend?

Man: Yes.

Dan: Lovely. Can I borrow her?

Man: But she’s the love of my life.

Dan: Perfect. (audience whoops) Let’s make it a threesome.

Lucifer: Shouting from the back of the room That is not me! Glares at Dan furiously

Jeers from the audience

Man1: Relax, you’ll get your turn.

Man3: What’s your problem, huh?

Man2: You gotta sign up, pal.

Dan is on stage putting chairs away as Lucifer walks up

Man: Good scene, man. You crushed it.

Dan: You too, pal.

Lucifer: Detective Douche! How dare you subject me to this pathetic caricature?

Dan: You have the nerve to stand there and accuse me of making fun of you, after everything you’ve done in the last couple of days. Hell, ever since we first met.

Lucifer: Detective Douche, I…

Dan: Dan! My name is Dan. Or Detective Espinoza.

Lucifer: Right. Dan. I only did it because you’re everything that I’m not. Boring, helpful. Your life is simple.

Dan: (scoffs) Oh. My life?

Lucifer: Yes.

Dan: Come on, man. You’re rich. You’re handsome. You drive fancy cars, you date hot girls. You have no kids, you have no responsibilities. How much more simple can life get?

Lucifer: Afraid you don’t know the whole story.

Dan: Well, fine. Tell me.

Lucifer: (scoffs softly) You see, that’s just it, Dan. The last person I opened up to, I hurt. A lot. Let alone how I’ve hurt my own flesh and blood. (exhales, scoffs, sighs, slowly lowers himself to sit on the edge of the stage. It’s all I seem to be able to do.

Dan: Sadly nods and sits down next to Lucifer Welcome to the club. You think Chloe divorced me because I’m a perfect guy? I did a lot of things that I’m not… proud of, man. And I’m just trying to work through them.

Lucifer: What, through mime? What do you do, stuff your feelings in a box and throw away the key?

Dan: It’s not mime. It’s improv. And I started the class after the divorce because I needed a distraction. Perspective. A way to step out of my own skin for a bit. I don’t know, I… I’m not a spontaneous guy. I don’t live in the moment like you do.

Lucifer: So, you were trying to learn how not to Douche.

Dan: (snickers) Yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it.

(both laughing)

Dan: Don’t tell Chloe. All right?

Lucifer: chuckles. Pretends to zip his lips and throw away an imaginary key

Dan: Tries to catch the imaginary key and misses Oh.

Knock on the door. Maze opens the door to let in Lucifer as he’s adjusting his cuff link. To Maze. Oh, it’s you. To Chloe, who is standing at the kitchen counter looking at papers Hello, Detective. I got your message.

Chloe: Oh, hi. Sees that Lucifer is dressed in his own clothes now Feeling back to your old self?

Lucifer: sighs I suppose. So I doubt I’ll be of much help. Ooh. Notices Maze in her sexy maid’s uniform. On second thought, it looks like I came at just the right time.

Maze: I’ve have nothing to say to you. Thanks to you, I lost my friend.

Lucifer: Friend? What friend?

Maze: The doctor.

Lucifer: Defensively I was just working through some stuff. I didn’t think that showing…

Maze: See, that’s the problem. I wish for just one second you would think about someone other than yourself.

Lucifer: And there we have it, ladies. My wake of destruction. Anyone else you need harmed, hmm?

Chloe: Okay, Lucifer? Enough. I’m close to something, I can feel it. motions with her finger for him to come towards her Help.

Lucifer: begrudgingly obeys Fine. Picks up a folder from counter Actually, there is something that’s been bugging me, Detective. Do you mind if I play the me’s advocate for just a second?

Chloe: Go ahead.

Lucifer: Well, there’s one part of this puzzle that just doesn’t fit. Joe Fields.

Chloe: Wha… why doesn’t he fit? Well, you said that he smiled at you when he was released.

Chloe: Yeah, I forgot about that.

Lucifer: So, why would an innocent man smile at the daughter of a man he took the fall for killing?

Chloe: He wouldn’t. She starts shuffling through papers.

Lucifer: What are you looking for?

Chloe: The prints that Ella found on Fields’ transport van.

Lucifer: But those only gave us Rodney Lam.

Chloe: But there were other prints. But they cleared as prison personnel. Like Deputy Warden Perry Smith. These are his prints.

Lucifer: What, you think the warden did it?

Chloe: Well, deputy wardens are desk jockeys, bureaucrats.

Lucifer: So his prints shouldn’t have been there.

Chloe: Yes. What if Fields wasn’t smiling at me? What if he was smiling at the person next to me? The warden?

Lucifer: So you think that Joe Fields and the warden had some kind of deal?

Chloe: Yes.

Lucifer: What, Fields serves 16 years… as a fall guy and then suddenly has a change of heart?

Chloe: Well, he had a grandkid. Maybe he got sick of the deal, told the warden he wanted out?

Lucifer: And the warden said yes, but only as a ploy to kill Fields.

Chloe: Right. (typing on keyboard) Deputy Warden Perry Smith worked in the prison system for 20 years. Started as a guard. He’s our guy. She grabs her keys and heads towards the door Let’s go.

Lucifer: Right, well, wouldn’t Dan be more helpful?

Chloe: What? Stops and says seriously If I’m gonna take this guy down, I need my partner, and that’s you. Lucifer Morningstar.

Lucifer: Smiles and softly chuckles. Right. Lucifer happily follows Chloe out the door.

Maze: Good-bye! I guess I’ll just clean up. I’m dressed for it, apparently.

(siren wailing) (indistinct radio chatter) Lucifer and Chloe drive up, get out of her car, and walk towards Dan

Lucifer: It looks like the cavalry’s arrived.

Chloe: Dan, what’s happening?

Dan: I’m so sorry, Chloe. The warden gave us the slip.

Chloe: confused What?

Lucifer and Chloe are slowly walking towards her door

Lucifer: Are you okay, Detective?

Chloe: This whole time, my father’s killer’s been out there. And today I let him get away. So, no, I feel like a failure.

Lucifer: What… you are nothing of the sort. Detective, for the first time in 16 years, you know who the real killer is. It seems to me that justice is in your sights.

Chloe: You’re right. I put out a BOLO. FBI and DHS are looking at airports, border crossings.

Lucifer: Well, I’ve still no idea what that means, but it sounds good.

Chloe: It means I’m gonna get the son of a bitch.

Lucifer: Right. Well… in the meantime, since your offspring’s with Dan…

Chloe: What?

Lucifer: I’m simply suggesting that you open a bottle of wine, or three, for yourself, and just have a nice…

From inside the house, muffled grunting, a man groans loudly

Maze: Shut up!

Man: (coughing)

As Lucifer and Chloe enter, they see the Deputy Warden strapped to a chair with a gag in his mouth, and Maze standing over him.

Lucifer: (laughing) Well… Bravo, Maze. How did you get…

Maze: I was bored. Had nothing to do. So, I tracked down the scumbag myself. It just… felt right.

Chloe: It’s gonna feel good to call this in.

Lucifer: What? No, hold on, Detective. You have a choice to make here.

Maze: Yes. So much punishment.

Lucifer: Mm. Order off-menu for once. Maze and I certainly won’t judge.

Chloe: Walks towards the Warden and speaks, voice breaking You took my father away. (crying) You tore apart my family. Chloe rips the tape off his mouth. Warden groans

Deputy Warden: (chuckles) I tried to get him to drop it. But he wouldn’t take the hint.

Chloe: That’s all you have to say? After everything you’ve done? She draws her gun and points it at him

Deputy Warden: No, no, no. No, no, no. I-I’m sorry. I’ll give you all the players in my operation. I’ll give you money.

Chloe: shaking, shuddering, breathing, tears rolling down her cheek. She thinks. Then slowly lowers the gun. Oh. We’ll see how you do in the prison that you ran. I’ll bet your inmates will treat you real nice.

Deputy Warden: No. No, please, please. I can get you whatever you want.

Chloe: All I want is for you to know that John Decker’s kid got you.

(knocks on the door)

Maze: (through door) Linda. I know you’re in there. I have something to show you.

Linda, scared, stands on the other side of the door. Maze slips a piece of paper under the door.

Maze: My first check. I got paid. As a bounty hunter! LAPD paid me this finder’s fee to track down some human scumbag. Hunting humans is a job. Happily surprised Who knew? Pauses First thing I wanted to do was to celebrate with my friend. That’s you, Linda.

Linda thinks, then uses he foot to slide the check back out under the door. Maze sadly picks up the check.

Okay. I just… wanted you to know. Maze turns her back to the door and stands there staring at it. The door unlocks. Linda peers out of the crack in the door.

Linda: Maze, how can we be friends? You’re a… you’re a demon. Lucifer’s the Devil. How am I supposed to get over that?

Maze: He’s still the same old Lucifer. You’re still Dr. Linda Martin. And I’m still Maze. What’s changed? Maze chuckles and holds up the check Come on. Let Mazikeen Smith buy you a drink. (chuckles) Maybe I’ll devour your soul or something. Linda cautiously smiles and opens the door wider.

=== MUSIC: Quiet as that secret you keep / Still in your heart as you sleep ===

Chloe, Trixie, and Lucifer are around the kitchen counter. Chloe hands a plate of food to Trixie.

Chloe: Here you go, monkey.

Lucifer: Mmm. Grabs the sandwich off Trixie’s plate and takes a bite. Yummy.

Chloe: Lucif…

Lucifer: Mmm. Why should the child go first? I’m far larger. And hungrier.

Trixie: It’s okay, Mommy. He must’ve really wanted it.

(Lucifer scoffs) (Chloe giggles and hands Trixie another sandwich.)

Lucifer: Is she always so… her?

Chloe: Baby, it’s time to get dressed.

Trixie starts to leave, holding the sandwich in one hand, and steps towards Lucifer.

Lucifer: Startled, jumps back a bit, holding up his hands to block her, yells What are you doing?

Trixie high-fives his hand. Lucifer scoffs

Trixie: Bye, Lucifer!

Lucifer: annoyed Yes.

Chloe and Lucifer exchange glances. Lucifer thinks for a moment before speaking.

Lucifer: (exhales) Yes. I don’t care much for my dad. But… you clearly… care about yours. Which is why you followed in his footsteps, I suppose.

Chloe: Hmm.

Lucifer: sighs, stutters So, w-what I’m trying to say is… I think he would be proud of you. Chloe is moved by his words Oh. My apologies, Detective. I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Chloe: No, no, it’s… tears start to form in her eyes, and she smiles

Lucifer: Wh… Then why are you… crying?

Chloe: (sighs) Just… Oh, just shut up.

Lucifer: What…

Chloe moves quickly towards Lucifer, putting her arms around his waist and burying her head in his chest. Lucifer is at first startled, then softens and hugs her back.