S3 Ep07: Off the Record

(A man is waking up, confused, in a hospital room with a nurse standing near him with a clipboard.)

Nurse: Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Getty.

Reese: What…? What happened?

Nurse: Just a little brush with death. You had us worried there for a while.

Reese: Oh. Is my wife here?

Nurse: No. I’m sorry, you haven’t had any visitors.

Reese: Well… we have been having some trouble lately. But you know what? Second chance on life. Maybe it’s not too late to turn things around.

(Reese is walking with a bouquet of roses. He takes out his keys and is about to let himself in the door when he hears voices inside.)

(Woman laughing. Man and woman talking indistinctly. )

Reese: (to himself) No, you wouldn’t. No.

(Man and woman continue to talk and laugh inside the apartment. There is a rattling of the door as someone is about to leave. Reese runs and hides. Lucifer exits the apartment.)

Lucifer: So, sorry to shag and run, darling, but, uh, I’ll see you next time. All right.

Lucifer: (to himself as he walks away) Ah. Lovely.

(Reese watches Lucifer walk away. Looks at the apartment and then decides to follow Lucifer. He throws the roses in the trash.)

(A crowd is partying. Lucifer has a couple of women hanging on him. He kisses one of them. They are all having a good time. Reese sits in a booth, watching.)

Reese: (out loud but to himself) Who the hell does he think he is?

Waitress: Lucifer Morningstar.

Reese: You’re serious? That’s his name? What kind of idiot calls himself that?

Waitress: The kind who owns this place.

(She puts his drink down on the table and leaves. Reese doesn’t see Lucifer at the bar anymore. Suddenly, Lucifer is casually sitting next to Reese.)

Lucifer: Don’t think I haven’t noticed you watching me. I know what this is about.

Reese: You do?

Lucifer: Yes, and the answer is no. I will not sleep with you.

Reese: Excuse me?

Lucifer: It’s not because you’re a man. It’s just because… Well, I don’t find you attractive. But maybe I could introduce you to someone more, you know, your league? There’s a chubby fellow over there. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving you a reach-around or something.

Reese: I’m married… to a woman, thank you very much.

Lucifer: Oh. Does she know you’re g*y?

Reese: My wife, who’s the smartest and funniest person I ever met, and the only woman that I’ve ever loved, is sleeping with another man. A sleazy, arrogant, womanizing piece of garbage.

Lucifer: Well, then, why are you wasting time trying to pick me up? You should be punishing him.

Reese: Oh, don’t worry. I’m going to.

Lucifer: Oh, are you? Great. What are you gonna do, spoons to the eyes? Ants inside his urethra? A Urethra Franklin, as I like to call it.

Reese: (making a fist under the table) I think I’m just gonna punch him in the face.

Lucifer: Well, that’s not enough for someone who stole your wife.

Reese: You’re right.

Lucifer: Yeah. You should destroy him. Tear his very life apart piece by piece. And normally, I’d help you do that, but I’ve picked up a new hobby recently.

(Just then Chloe enters LUX at the top of the stairs.)

Lucifer: (shouting to be heard over the crowd) Detective!

Reese: Detective?

Lucifer: Yes. LAPD, and I’m a consultant.

Reese: You? You work with the police?

Lucifer: Started a couple of weeks ago. It’s quite fun, actually.

Chloe: Hey, you know, I’ve been trying to reach you.

Lucifer: Detective, meet my new friend. Uh…

Reese: Uh, Reese.

Chloe: (shakes Reese’s hand) Hi.

Lucifer: Ah. Owner of the pieces.

Chloe: Good to meet you. Uh, sorry to interrupt, but I need my consultant to sober up and join me at a crime scene.

Lucifer: Oh, (chuckles) sounds lovely. All right.

(Chloe leaves with Lucifer following her.)

Chloe: Nice meeting you.

Lucifer: Yes. Oh. Good luck with the punishing. (clicks his tongue)

(Reese is talking to his boss as they walk through the room.)

Reese: Hey, boss, I got something.

Editor: Sleeping in your office again?

Reese: No, I’m working on my new story. It’s about a shady nightclub owner.

Editor: (chuckles) My top investigative reporter wants me to approve a piece about overpriced booze and go-go dancers?

Reese: No, no, it’s a con man. On paper, didn’t even exist five years ago. Tells everyone he’s the Devil.

Editor: So he’s a weirdo. I don’t see a story.

Reese: He’s consulting for the LAPD. I’ve got a bad feeling this guy’s up to no good. Remember the last time I had a bad feeling?

Editor: How can I forget your Pulitzer when you won’t stop reminding me?

Reese: This son of a b*tch is hiding something. Who he is, how he’s exploiting the police. Whatever it is, the people deserve to know the truth.

Editor: Bringing this guy down, there wouldn’t be a personal reason behind it, would there?

Reese: No. Of course not.

(The editor smiles and walks away.)

(Reese is walking down the stairs to where Lucifer is chatting up a female officer.)

Reese: Lucifer!

Lucifer: Reese. (to officer) Excuse me. (to Reese) What are you doing here? Have you come to tell me about the punishment you delivered? Probably not best to go into detail in a police station.

Reese: No. After we met last night, I realized how… fascinating you are.

Lucifer: Oh, well, I can’t argue with that.

Reese: I’m a journalist for the LA Telegraph. So I pitched my editor, and she said I could do a piece on you.

Lucifer: No. What, an entire article dedicated to me? (laughs) Right. Well, let’s start with a talk. Gosh, this’ll be fun.

(Lucifer walks away. Reese watches Lucifer go as his smile turns serious.)

(Reese puts fresh tape in his recorder and proceeds to interview and record multiple people in the police station.)

Reese: Can you tell me about this guy, Lucifer?

Officer 1: Yeah, he calls himself “the Devil.”

Janitor: He helped me out with some gambling debts. Saved my life.

Officer 2: Five years ago? I heard he was somewhere terrible down south.

Detective 1: He introduced me to my husband.

Janitor: And my horse.

Officer 2: Maybe Florida?

Officer 1: It’s weird, but this is L.A.

Detective 1: I don’t know what to tell you. I love the guy.

Officer 1: Just love that guy.

Officer 2: Everyone here just loves Lucifer.

Dan: I don’t like Lucifer.

Reese: Really?

Dan: For starters, someone’s been stealing my pudding. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it all started when he showed up.

Reese: Oh.

Dan: And I’m not exactly in love with the idea of my wife putting herself in danger just so some club owner can have fun playing cop.

Reese: You and Detective Decker are married?

Dan: (long pause) We’re separated.

Reese: Oh, but still, that’s got to be hard watching them frolic around in front of you.

Dan: I wouldn’t say “frolic.”

(Reese obviously turns off the recorder so Dan can see it’s off.)

Reese: Happy to keep this off the record. Separated is not divorced. There’s still time.

(Chloe walks up and puts her hand on Dan’s shoulder.)

Chloe: Excuse me.

Dan: Hi.

Chloe: (to Reese) Uh, I know you. Aren’t you the guy from Lux?

Reese: Reese Getty, LA Telegraph. I’m here to write a story about you and Lucifer.

Chloe: Oh, right. “Former B-movie Actress Turned Detective Works With a Whack-Job Consultant.”

Dan: Sounds about right.

Chloe: Yeah. No thanks.

(She tries to walk away.)

Reese: Detective Chloe Decker. I did my research. Hot Tub High School, your dad, I get it. You don’t like the press.

Chloe: I don’t have time for this. I have work to do that actually contributes to society.

Reese: I hate to be the one to break it to you, but your lieutenant and my editor are like this. (crosses his fingers) I’ve been assigned to ride along with you, Detective. So we can either make this a pleasant experience, or we can do it the hard way.

Chloe: I’ll pick the hard way.

(She walks away from Reese.)

(The crime scene is a large house overlooking the ocean. Chloe, Lucifer, and Reese enter the crime scene by ducking under a yellow crime table. Reese is questioning Lucifer.)

Reese: So, you just started showing up at crime scenes, and eventually, she let you work with her?

Lucifer: Uh, more or less.

Chloe: (sighs) Yeah. Um, excuse us.

Reese: No, no, no, just… I’ll stay out of your way. Just pretend I’m not here.

(Chloe hands Lucifer a pair of blue surgical gloves.)

Chloe: Here you go.

Lucifer: What am I supposed to do with these?

Chloe: Wear them… like you always do.

Lucifer: Oh, right, yeah. Mm-hmm. (whispering to Reese as he puts the gloves in his pocket) I don’t.

(They walk up to where the victim’s body is lying. Dan crouches over it and starts bringing Chloe up to speed.)

Reese: Hmm.

Chloe: (to Dan) Hi.

Dan: Our victim’s name is Poppy Parker. She owns an organic cosmetics line. Sort of a local celebrity for all-natural skin care.

Chloe: (pointing to objects lying around the body) And, uh, what are all these?

Lucifer: These are boobs. Yes, I’d know them anywhere. C-cups to be precise. Oh, look at these.

(Lucifer takes three of the breast implants and begins to juggle them.)

Chloe: Please don’t… juggle the evidence, Lucifer.

Lucifer: (sighs)

Chloe: But it’s fine if he does, ’cause, you know, they’ve already been processed.

Lucifer: They’re called “fun bags” for a reason. Actually, this one is a calf implant (tosses it at Dan), so you should have that, Detective d*uche. Looks like you’ve been skipping leg day. Yeah, they’re very, um, low quality, actually. More outdated than Dan’s flip phone. Don’t think any surgeon in L.A. would use these.

Chloe: Hmm. Okay. We’ll look into it. (to Reese) Lucifer, he does this. He notices things that normal people are too… normal to notice, but it, uh, has a tendency of paying off.

Lucifer: It does. (clicks tongue)

Dan: Why would he do this to someone who values natural beauty? To punish her?

Lucifer: Well, that is a very good question, Daniel, but as an expert in punishment, (to Reese) because I’m the Devil…

Reese: Hmm.

Lucifer: This isn’t punishment. This looks like someone making a statement.

Chloe: Well, maybe you’re right. Needle mark on the lip, bruising around the injection. This wasn’t postmortem.

Dan: Poppy wasn’t as all-natural as she wanted everyone to believe.

Reese: She’s a fraud. Someone wanted to reveal that the people around her can’t trust her.

Lucifer: Ah.

Chloe: If that’s the case, I’ve seen this before.

Lucifer: Oh, very good. Go, Reese Lightning. (chuckles)

(Reese looks annoyed.)

(Chloe is showing Lucifer and Reese photos from another crime.)

Chloe: So, Daniel Moore, vegan chef. Curiously found with raw meat in his mouth.

Lucifer: Ah. So vegans can’t enjoy a healthy sex life?

(Lucifer laughs; no one else does.)

Lucifer: Tough crowd.

Chloe: Turns out, he owns a cattle ranch in Montana, and the environmentalist who was found drowned in jet fuel, he actually owned a private plane.

Lucifer: So, someone’s k*lling charlatans. Ah. The worst kind of scum. Next to boy bands.

Chloe: All three victims had trace amounts of the exact same poison in their system. Same profile, same M.O. This is a serial k*ller.

Lucifer: Yes. The Completely Justified k*ller of Phonies. (to Reese) If that’s what you name him, I want credit.

Chloe: The first scene was found over a month ago.

Lucifer: Mm hm.

(Lucifer is distracted by something outside the open lab door. He leaves the room while Chloe is talking. Lucifer talks to an officer and hands him some folded bills. The officer walks away.)

Chloe: The environmentalist, a week ago. And Poppy here was found just a few days later. I think the k*ller is becoming more obsessed. He’s accelerating his timeline. (sighs) We have to catch this guy before anyone else dies.

Lucifer: Why does Lucifer work with you?

Chloe: I told you, it’s an… unconventional partnership, and it just…

Reese: That’s not it. What’s he get out of it?

Chloe: You’ll have to ask him.

(Just then, Reese sees the officer come back and hands Lucifer a medium-sized leather zippered carry-all bag. Lucifer takes it and leaves in the opposite direction.)

(Lucifer’s car is parked near the door. Lucifer taps on the door a few times. A man slides the door open, talks to Lucifer, then takes the bag from Lucifer and goes inside. Lucifer waits outside.)

Reese: (makes a phone call and leaves a voicemail) Hi, hon. I know you’ve been avoiding me. I mean, things have been… off lately. But I want to try and turn things around. Can we talk? I miss you.

(Reese sees the man has returned with another carry-all and hands it to Lucifer, who gets in his car and drives away. Reese turns to leave, but is suddenly thrown against a nearby metal cage.)

Maze: Leave Lucifer Morningstar alone. Or you’ll be too dead to regret it.

Reese: I’m onto something, aren’t I? You can’t scare me off. I’ve been threatened by worse than you.

(Maze puts one of her demon blades against his throat.)

Maze: I guarantee you haven’t.

(Maze knees him. Reese falls to the ground and immediately looks around, but Maze is already gone.)

Inside the Los Angeles Telegraph Bullpen

(Reese is walking quickly and stops at a reporter’s desk.)

Chad: Oh, Mr. Getty.

Reese: I need you to look up this address. Something shady – going on here.

Chad: O-Okay, but there’s, uh…

Reese: Got to be a drug den, human trafficking…

Chad: Mr. Getty, your wife’s in your office.

Reese: Really? My wife?

(He drops his bag. Nervously straightens his hair with his hands.)

Reese: How do I look?

Chad: Uh… (Nervous chuckle. Gives him a two-thumbs-up sign.)

(Reese opens the door to find his wife standing, staring out the window with her back to the door. She turns, and we now see that Reese’s wife is Dr. Linda.)

Dr. Linda: Reese. We need to talk.

Reese: Linda. You look… wow. We should go to dinner. Our favorite Italian place is still open. I’ll make reservations. (picks up his desk phone)

Dr. Linda: Reese, why are people in your office calling me your wife?

(Reese puts down the phone.)

Reese: Because you are my wife.

Dr. Linda: No. We’re separated. It’s been two years. That’s actually why I’m here. I have been more than patient, but it’s time.

(She pulls papers out of her bag.)

Dr. Linda: Sign the divorce papers, please.

Reese: Is this because you’re seeing someone else?

Dr. Linda: No. No, this isn’t because I’m seeing someone, Reese. You can’t keep leaving me voicemails like that. Things are not “off lately”; things are over. You need to move on.

Reese: I can’t move on. Don’t you know how much I love you?

Dr. Linda: You never give up. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But that was a long time ago.

Reese: Not that long ago.

Dr. Linda: This is classic denial. It’s a self-defense mechanism that you…

Reese: (raising his voice) Don’t analyze me, Linda. (quietly) Sorry.

Dr. Linda: We’re over. Sign them.

Reese: I’m working on something, and I need a little more time.

Dr. Linda: Why? Nothing you’re working on is gonna change anything.

Reese: 24 hours, that’s all I’m asking for.

Dr. Linda: Okay, if I do… you’ll finally sign the papers?

Reese: I promise.

(Dr. Linda picks up the papers and walks out without looking back. Reese leaves his office and goes to talk with Chad.)

Reese: (to Chad) Hey. Did you find anything about that address yet?

Chad: It’s a known hot spot for trading stolen goods.

Reese: I knew he was up to something. Fencing? Smuggling? Or worse?

Chad: Well, I can do some research on the building.

Reese: No, I need proof right now. (gasp. He has a thought.) Lucifer’s duffel bag. I need to get it.

(LUX is full of a partying crowd. Lucifer arrives and walks quickly down the stairs.)

Lucifer: (sees a beautiful woman near the stairs) Oh, lovely.

(As he gets to the floor and walks off through the crowd, we see Reese is slightly hidden and leaning against the side of the staircase. Reese goes up the stairs towards the penthouse.)

(The elevator doors open. Reese walks out and looks around in awe.)

Reese: (to himself, scoffs) Another piano?

(Reese sees the bag Lucifer got from the warehouse man sitting on the coffee table. He goes over to open it when he hears a muffled voice from the bedroom. Reese picks up the bag and heads towards the sounds. In the bedroom, he finds a woman bound and gagged to the headboard of Lucifer’s bed.)

Reese: What the…? Uh, uh, don’t worry. I’m gonna get you out of here.

(Reese tries to untie one of her hands when he hears a voice next to him.)

Lucifer: Well, hello.

Reese: What the hell are you doing here?

Lucifer: (he’s holding a bottle of champagne) Well, it appears I’ve caught you sneaking into my penthouse. So perhaps you should answer that question. What story are you really looking for, reporter?

Lucifer: I’m gonna expose you for the fraud you are.

Lucifer: (chuckles)

Reese: And save this woman. Don’t you try and stop me.

Lucifer: I won’t. She might, though.

(Reese removes the gag from the woman’s mouth.)

Veronica: Who is this guy, Lucifer? He doesn’t seem very fun.

Reese: Wait. You’re not tied up against your will?

Veronica: Um, no. I’m pretty into this. At least I was until you got here.

Reese: (frustrated) All right, that doesn’t matter. I know I’m onto something. Otherwise, why would you send that crazy ninja woman after me?

Lucifer: Crazy ninja wom… oh, Maze? No, I didn’t send her. She’s just a tad overprotective, that’s all. Demon bartenders, you know how they can be.

Reese: What about that pile of cash I saw you give that cop?

Lucifer: Yes, to buy his duffel bag. Hard to find quality leather with such tensile strength.

Reese: The bag. That’s right. This will prove everything.

(Reese unzips the bag and riffles through its contents and pulls out two long flexible objects.)

Reese: What is this? Are these sex toys?

Lucifer: Edible sex toys, to be precise. Not exactly FDA approved, so I had to sneak the delicious things through customs.

Reese: How could I be so wrong?

(Dejected, Reese sits down on the side of the bed.)

Reese: About so many things?

Lucifer: (sighs) Look, I know why you’re upset. (Lucifer sits on the bed next to Reese.) You thought you had a nice, juicy scoop for your paper. And I don’t blame you. You’re just doing your job. Unfortunately for you, the only juicy thing here is the, uh… Watermelon Willies.

Veronica: They’re pretty good. You should try one.

Lucifer: Mm.

Reese: I’m allergic to watermelon.

Lucifer: Oh. Look, why don’t you come with me? The detective just called with some sort of lead. I always find catching a k*ller cheers me up. I mean, I was gonna do Veronica first, but… You don’t mind waiting, do you, darling?

Veronica: Not at all.

Lucifer: Good. (to Reese) Come on.

(Reese gets up to follow Lucifer.)

Veronica: Excuse me. Do you mind?

(Her eyes look at the gag lying around her neck. Reese puts the gag back in her mouth.)

Veronica: (muffled) Thank you.

(There is an obvious blur-out/blur-in from the last scene to this one. Reese sits in the backseat, looking at Chloe and Lucifer in the front seat through the metal grating.)

Chloe: (to Lucifer) You were right about the implants. They were pulled from the market years ago due to rupturing.

Lucifer: Oh, a moment of silence for all those poor, mishandled breasts.

(While Chloe is talking, we see Reese sitting in the backseat looking dazed.)

Chloe: They’re illegal to sell anywhere, but we pulled a partial serial number that pointed to a plastic surgeon’s office in Beverly Hills.

(Reese, still looking dazed, is watching Lucifer talk to a surgeon. )

Lucifer: Wait, you, Scarface? You resent your clients, don’t you?

Barry: I don’t…

Lucifer: You want them to suffer. (He uses his power of desire on the doctor.)

Barry: I do. I want all of them to suffer.

(Dan is talking to Lucifer while Reese watches from behind them.)

Dan: Good work on the case. Realizing that his scar made him resent other people around him… that was good. Good detective work.

(The doctor is sitting at the table. Reese is dazed and standing in the back of the room. Chloe tries to get his attention.)

Chloe: Reese, you okay? Reese.

(Reese snaps out of it.)

Reese: You were right.

Chloe: About?

Reese: I wanted to write a piece that showed that your partnership was a dangerous joke. That Lucifer was a fraud. But the truth is he’s just frustratingly, annoyingly… a charming guy. And you and him… (grunts) you two work well together. There’s no story here. I’m just gonna drop it.

Chloe: Is this some weird journalist tactic to get me to lower my guard?

Reese: I wish. No, this is just me getting out of the way, so you can do your job. Catch more K*llers.

Chloe: Unfortunately, Barry’s not our k*ller. He sold expired medical goods from the office, including some tainted Botox that poisoned a few people. And although he’ll spend a very long time in jail, he’s not our guy.

Reese: But if he sold supplies to the k*ller, he should know something.

Chloe: Well, he wouldn’t give us any information on the buyer. Probably scared, but we’ll get it out of him.

(Door open. An officer steps in.)

Officer: Detective, the lieutenant’s asking for you.

Chloe: Okay. Uh, excuse me. Be right back. (to officer as she leaves room) Thank you.

(Reese is left in the observation room and sees Lucifer enter the main interrogation room and confront Barry.)

Lucifer: (to Barry) Right. Now the detective’s gone, let’s have a chat. Just the two of us, shall we?

Barry: Look, I don’t know anything, okay?

Lucifer: Yes, yes, you plead ignorance, and then we sweat you until you finally give us a name. I’m sorry, I don’t have time for that. I’ve got a lovely lady tied up back at my place. So I’d like to speed things up.

(Lucifer pulls Barry from his chair and throws him against the wall with the two-way mirror on it. Reese is shocked. Lucifer picks Barry up off the floor and holds him up against the mirror, so Reese can only see Barry’s back.)

Barry: screaming Listen, listen, man, I… wait… Please stop! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t know a thing! I only know his, his username, okay?! “TruthDog21”! Please! Stop! Oh, oh!

(Lucifer throws Barry to the floor, and Reese now sees Lucifer in his red devil’s face. Reese is shocked and terrified.)

Reese: Oh. Oh…

(Lucifer seems to look right at Reese. Reese is frozen in fear, looking into the eyes of the devil. As the camera angle changes, we see that Lucifer can’t see Reese at all but is looking at his own reflection. He smiles and turns back into the human-looking Lucifer. Reese sees this happen. Lucifer straightens his clothes and leaves the interrogation room. Reese is still shocked but relieved.)

(Reese barges in without knocking.)

Reese: You have to stop seeing Lucifer Morningstar.

Dr. Linda: How did you get that name?

Reese: Uh…

Dr. Linda: Okay, invading my privacy is one thing, but if you’re stalking my clients…

Reese: I’m not stalking him. I was working on a story with him.

Dr. Linda: Oh, okay, so you just happened to be working on a story with Lucifer.

Reese: Okay, I know this sounds crazy, it… He’s the Devil. And I-I don’t mean in-in a, in a douchebag, club-owning kind of way. I mean… he’s the actual Devil.

Dr. Linda: Yes, Lucifer is insistent on this Devil persona.

Reese: No, he isn’t some patient. That’s just a ploy that he used to seduce you.

Dr. Linda: Okay, so that’s what this is about. It is none of your business who I sleep with.

Reese: It is if it’s Satan himself. (chuckles) I don’t think you’ve understood exactly what it is you’re doing.

Dr. Linda: Oh, I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m enjoying myself with someone who doesn’t make me feel trapped. Lucifer is someone who is completely present in the moment. Who gives me 100% of his attention. And doesn’t demand anything from me. I guess if you want to vilify him and call him the Devil…

Reese: No, he is the Devil.

Dr. Linda: But being with him is the most liberating experience of my life.

Reese: I see, he’s-he’s got you under some sort of spell.

Dr. Linda: You know, I’ve been incredibly patient with you, because I still care about you, still worry about you. But I just can’t take it anymore.

Reese: Okay, if I can come up with proof that he is the Devil…

Dr. Linda: Sign the papers!

(Reese picks up a pen and signs the papers that are lying on the desk.)

Dr. Linda: You’ve got a lot you need to figure out, Reese.

Reese: You’re right. I do.

(Reese turns and walks out.)

(Reese pulls the Venetian blinds closed and starts writing on a whiteboard everything he can find on Lucifer. This is a montage of fades from one piece of information to another, which he adds over time. He is drinking. He is making phone calls. More and more information is added to the whiteboards. A timeline appears with the names of people we know from the cases we have already seen Chloe and Lucifer solve. As time passes, the timeline wraps around the room. The room is now cluttered with files and trash. Reese is unshaven and unkempt.)

(Knock on his office door. Reese peeks through the blinds to see Lucifer waiting.)

Chloe: Reese? It’s Detective Decker. We could really use your help.

Reese: (sighs. Steadies himself, opens the door, and goes out of his office, closing the door behind him.) How can I help you, Detective?

Lucifer: Shower and a shave, maybe. (chuckles)

Chloe: We’re here about the serial k*ller case from last year.

Reese: I thought the k*ller went dormant.

Chloe: He has, but we’re still investigating the case, and we’ve had a break. All the victims were local celebrities who were featured in the Telegraph’s style section.

Reese: You think he read the article?

Chloe: And we hope he commented on them. We have a handle we think he used, TruthDog21.

Reese: Well, the comments are public. You can search them.

Chloe: We have. We didn’t find anything, but we want…

Lucifer: (cutting her off) But I was complaining to the detective about some posts of mine that have been removed from a website for roosters of award-winning size. (laughs) You see, I was posting pictures of my…

Chloe: Okay. Okay. Does your paper archive redacted comments? Uh, anything that’s threatening or violent.

Lucifer: Or of award-winning size.

(Chloe rolls her eyes.)

Reese: Uh, yeah, sure. Just give the information to my assistant. He’ll gather the info. It might take a day or two.

Chloe: Thank you.

(Chloe walks away, leaving Lucifer with Reese.)

Lucifer: Mm-hmm. (Lucifer looks at Reese curiously.) You still haven’t destroyed him, have you?

Reese: Excuse me?

Lucifer: That sleazy piece of garbage who was sleeping with your wife.

Reese: No. I’m starting to think that he might be un-destroyable.

Lucifer: Well, perhaps you’re not thinking outside the box enough, Reesey. Don’t be afraid to take a big swing. It can be therapeutic. Oh, speaking of… I’m late for my own therapy. Again. She’s gonna k*ll me.

(This gives Reese an idea. He goes back to the whiteboard and wipes off the question mark after “Devil = Invulnerable?”)

(Lucifer is on the sofa telling Dr. Linda something when Reese bursts in without knocking.)

Lucifer: She said that was a ridiculous idea…

Reese: Linda.

Lucifer: Reese.

Dr. Linda: Reese!

Lucifer: (to Dr. Linda) What, you know him as well?

Dr. Linda: My ex-husband, Reese…

Reese: Linda. (pulls her up from her chair and pushes her on the other side of the room away from Lucifer) Stay back.

Lucifer: Your ex-husband? So we’re tunnel buddies.

(Reese pulls out a gun and points it at Lucifer.)

Lucifer: Hey.

(Reese shoots. Lucifer is knocked back on the sofa. He looks at where the bullet struck him. He gets angry and stands up.)

Lucifer: You realize what you just did? You just ruined a perfectly good Burberry.

Dr. Linda: Are you…

Reese: What kind of monster are you? See? He’s the Devil! I told you.

Dr. Linda: Y-You tried to k*ll him.

Reese: Yeah, but I didn’t. He’s invincible because he’s the Devil. See? There’s your proof.

Dr. Linda: Reese…

Lucifer: You’re lucky the detective isn’t here. You’d be cleaning my blood out of the couch.

Dr. Linda: Put the g*n down, Reese.

Reese: Right, I don’t need it anymore. Look, I…

(Lucifer sits back down on the sofa)

Reese: I know it’s a lot to process, but you’ve got to believe me.

Dr. Linda: Reese, I know he’s the Devil.

Reese: What? You… you… you do?

Dr. Linda: Is this what you were trying to tell me all those months ago?

Reese: I saw his real face. If you see it, then you’ll know.

Dr. Linda: I have seen it. And I know. I know – how unsettling it can be.

Lucifer: Yes. And if you’re this unsettled by me, I’d hate to see what you’re gonna do to the scoundrel who’s been sleeping with your wife.

Dr. Linda: I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what you were going through. I didn’t know the truth, and I didn’t think you did either.

Reese: But you know now. And you’re still seeing him?

Lucifer: Only professionally, Reese, much to my disappointment.

Dr. Linda: When I first learned who he really was, it… it-it turned my world upside down. But he’s not what you think.

Reese: (shouting) He’s the Devil!

Lucifer: Oh, it’s not like I’ve hidden that fact.

Reese: He’s evil incarnate!

Dr. Linda: No. No, he’s a good man.

(Lucifer is stopped and taken aback by this comment.)

Dr. Linda: He’s my friend.

(Lucifer is more touched by this.)

Reese: All this time I’ve been… trying to prove to you who he really is. And not only did you already know… you didn’t care.

(Reese starts backing out of the room)

Dr. Linda: Sit down, Reese, let’s talk this through.

Reese: No, no.

(Reese leaves Dr. Linda’s office.)

(Reese is sitting in the dark, staring aimlessly at a whiteboard. There is a knock on the door.)

Editor: (letting herself in) Please, Reese. Your assistant left your redacted comments research on MY desk. Are you still working on this nightclub owner thing?

Reese: He’s not just a nightclub owner.

Editor: So do you have a story for me, something I can actually print, or just arts and crafts? This has to stop.

(Reese inhales sharply.)

Editor: Now.

Reese: I can’t. I can’t let this guy win.

Editor: You have filed, barely, a dozen other stories this year. And you have nothing to show for all this work. Reese! (She drops the files on his desk.) This guy has won. I’m telling you this as your friend. If you don’t let this go, it’s going to be the end of your career.

(Reese does not respond. The editor leaves and slams the door behind her. Reese becomes enraged and starts tearing everything off the whiteboards and walls and shoving everything off his desk. When he quiets down, he is holding a photo of Chloe. He looks at the whiteboard that says “Devil = Vulnerable,” then back at Chloe’s photo. He then remembers what Lucifer said after Reese shot him in Dr. Linda’s office.)

Lucifer: “You’re lucky the detective isn’t here. You’d be cleaning my blood out of the couch.”

(Reese finds and picks up a file folder and starts looking through the papers until he finds what he is looking for.)

(Reese knocks on the door. The door’s window is covered with newspaper. Alvin peeks through and then cautiously opens the door.)

Reese: Alvin Kapitski?

Alvin: Yeah.

Reese: Registered on the LA Telegraph website as “TruthDog21”? I wanted to ask you a few questions about some comments that you posted on some stories we ran about Poppy Parker and Daniel Moore.

Alvin: Okay. Okay. (He steps out on the porch and closes the door behind him.) I knew this day would come. I’ll surrender quietly. (He holds out his wrists to willingly be handcuffed.)

Reese: Oh, no. I’m not a cop. I’m a reporter. I just want to talk to you.

Alvin: You’re here to do a story on me?

Reese: Well, my job is to dig up the truth. Expose people for who they really are. And once I saw your work, I-I realized that – you were just doing the same thing.

Alvin: Yeah. Yeah, I was. (sighs) I’m back on my meds now. I’m trying to be good. It’s hard, but I’m trying. I’m trying, I’m trying.

Reese: I get it. It’s just, I met this guy recently. Biggest fraud I’d ever encountered.

Alvin: Yeah?

Reese: I tried to expose him, show everybody the liar that he really is.

Alvin: What happened?

Reese: He won. They always do, don’t they? Unless someone does something. (sighs)

(Reese looks at Alvin to see if he’s got him hooked.)

All: What’s his name?

(Lucifer is drinking with some women. Reese is sitting in a booth watching Lucifer when Chloe arrives.)

Chloe: Hi.

Reese: Thanks for coming.

Chloe: Hey, you’re helping me, so thanks. Although I have no idea why we had to meet here. (inhales deeply) Those them?

Reese: Yeah, uh, all the redacted comments. (pushes a file folder towards her but sees Alvin in the crowd) Uh, but first, (pulls the file folder back towards himself) I never did get to interview you.

Chloe: You know, you really had me fooled. Thought you were different. Fine, ask away.

Reese: What do you think Lucifer gets out of this partnership?

Chloe: You already asked me that.

Reese: Uh, but you never answered.

Chloe: Um… (sighs) I think, a long time ago, somebody wronged Lucifer. I think he avoided dealing with it, and he hides behind the partying and the women and the drinking, and who knows what else. And with the LAPD working on each case, it gives him an opportunity to right those wrongs, to fight back.

(As Chloe is talking, Reese is watching Lucifer and Alvin. Lucifer puts his drink down on a table and goes to greet some women. When Lucifer’s back is turned, Alvin pours some powder into Lucifer’s glass. Seeing this, Reese chuckles.)

Chloe: You think that’s funny?

Reese: Uh, no, no. I’m sorry. I just think, uh, you give him more credit than he deserves.

(Lucifer picks his drink back up and, seeing Alvin standing there, starts talking to him.)

Chloe: Well, I don’t think you give him enough.

(Reese sees Lucifer take Alvin over to a woman and introduce them.) Alvin is enjoying this.)

Reese: You may be right.

(Reese sees Alvin take Lucifer’s glass, swap it for his own, and set Lucifer’s glass down on the table. Lucifer takes a sip of Alvin’s drink.)

Reese: (Annoyed, he pushes the file back towards Chloe.) Thanks, Detective.

(The two young women next to Alvin and Lucifer pick up what they think are their drinks from the table. One of the women drinks from Lucifer’s glass.)

Chloe: Um… these, uh… these look incomplete.

(The woman falls to the floor. People start screaming.)

Woman 1: Help! Help, help!

Lucifer: Help! Help!

(Chloe gets up and runs towards the commotion.)

Woman 2: Oh, my gosh!

(Crowd chatters. Chloe kneels down and takes the woman’s pulse.)

Chloe: (shaking her head) She’s dead.

(Reese stands there looking distraught.)

Chloe: What happened?

(The crowd is gone. The EMTs are wheeling the woman’s body out on a stretcher. There are police milling around.)

Ella: Yeah, you were right. Looks like the same poison that was used by that serial k*ller you guys were after.

Lucifer: They did this under my own roof. My home!

(Lucifer storms away and goes up the stairs towards his penthouse.)

Chloe: How-how could the k*ller be here the exact same time we were? Must be something, must… It must be you.

Reese: What? What do you mean?

Chloe: He was here for you. He must have figured out that you were gonna pass over information about him. I’m so sorry. This is… this is all my fault. I’m to blame. I put you in danger.

Reese: No, no, no, this is not your fault. There’s only one person who’s to blame for this.

(Just then, an officer says something to Chloe, and she leaves with him. Reese turns and sees a knife lying on the bar.)

(The elevator doors open to reveal Reese standing there with the knife in his hand. Lucifer has his back to the elevator, pouring himself a drink. Lucifer hears the doors open.)

Lucifer: Yeah. I’m in no mood for whatever it is.

Reese: (He’s holding the knife up, pointing it at Lucifer.) You. This is all your fault. You ruined my life. You drove me to do things I never would’ve done. And now… there’s a dead girl down there because of you.

Lucifer: (chuckles ironically) What is it with you humans? Huh? Always blaming me. I never make any of you do anything.

Reese: That’s not true. You trick us into sin, damnation.

Lucifer: (incensed) I have a story for you, reporter. One I’ve never told a human soul before. I take no part in who goes to Hell.

Reese: Then who does?

Lucifer: You humans. (chuckles) You send yourselves. Driven down by your own guilt. Forcing yourselves to relive your sins over and over. And the best part… the doors aren’t locked. You could leave anytime. It says something that no one ever does, doesn’t it?

Reese: No. You’re to blame.

Lucifer: I am responsible for a lot of things, Reese, but not your soul, not your actions, and not whoever k*lled that poor girl downstairs.

Reese: (sputters) Eh, you… You have to be. (confused) Otherwise…

Lucifer: Hurting me is not what you really want to do, is it?

(Lucifer tries to use his power of desire.)

Reese: What are you doing to me?

Lucifer: Oh, you’re a complicated one, aren’t you, Reese? Strong. (inhales) Tell me… what do you truly desire?

Reese: (sputters) I… I just want Linda to love me.

(It takes a lot out of Reese to admit this. In the relief of finally saying this out loud, he drops the knife.)

Lucifer: You’re still in love with your ex? What about your wife?

Reese: She is my wife. She’ll always be my wife.

Lucifer: So… hold on, that-that sleazy, piece of garbage, that… (chuckles) that was me?

(Reese shakes his head in disbelief of Lucifer’s reaction.)

Lucifer: (laughing) It was me.

Reese: (sigh) The way she looks at you.

Lucifer: Ah…

Reese: She cares for you. (chuckles) How’d you do that? How did you convince her that “The Devil,” of all people… was good?

Lucifer: I don’t know. I just… showed her my true self.

Reese: But how could she accept you after that?

Lucifer: Well, maybe she did… because of that. (chuckles) Hmm.

(Reese barges in again without knocking. Dr. Linda is sitting behind her desk.)

Reese: Before you say anything, hear me out.

Dr. Linda: There’s nothing you can say.

Reese: I was a bad husband. Put my work above everything, above us. Our marriage failing was all my fault. And I’m sorry. You deserved better.

Dr. Linda: Well, if we’re… if we’re being honest…

(She stands and walks over to him.)

Dr. Linda: It wasn’t all your fault. I wasn’t perfect either. Truth is… neither one of us could be what the other one needed. That’s why it’s good that we’re going our separate ways.

Reese: But, Linda, no, no, I… I thought me opening up would bring us closer. Like it did with you and Lucifer.

Dr. Linda: Reese, that’s not how this works.

Reese: (totally confused) You forgave the Devil. Why can’t you forgive me?

Dr. Linda: (chuckles ironically) You know, for a second, I thought that you were honestly taking responsibility. But it’s always the same with you, over and over. So determined, you never listen, never learn.

Reese: Do you know how much I love you? The things that I’ve done for you. I went up against the Devil. I risked everything getting involved with a serial k*ller. A poor girl got k*lled!

Dr. Linda: Wait, what?

Reese: (stutters) I-I can explain…

Dr. Linda: Reese, what have you done?

Reese: No, it-it wasn’t my fault.

Dr. Linda: I’m calling the police.

Reese: No. It was an accident. I-I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

(Dr. Linda backs towards her desk and puts her hand on the phone. Reese puts his hand on hers and stops her from picking up the receiver.)

Dr. Linda: Reese!

Reese: Stop. Let me explain.

Dr. Linda: Reese, let go of me. Reese.

(He grabs her and they struggle.)

Reese: No, no! No!

Dr. Linda: Reese, no!

(He pushes her, takes the receiver, and slams it down on the base. He turns and is shocked to see Dr. Linda on her knees with an injury to her forehead.)

Reese: Oh, God. I’m sorry. (he backs up towards the open door) You’re right. Call Detective Decker. Tell them they can find me at my office. I’ll give them everything that I have on Kapitski. And I’ll turn myself in. I’m sorry. You were right. Let me make this right.

Dr. Linda: Goodbye, Reese.

(Dr. Linda picks up the phone and dials. Reese runs out of the room.)

(Reese enters his office. He sees a bottle of vodka on the desk and a clear glass mug next to it, already filled with vodka. He mindlessly picks it up and drinks. He immediately begins to choke. He gasps. A voice speaks from behind him.)

Alvin: You sent me to k*ll the wrong man.

(Reese looks at the glass, realizing that he has drunk poison and drops it on the floor.)

Alvin: Lucifer wasn’t a fraud. He’s an honest man. As honest as they come. No, no, the fraud is you! Reporter lying to people.

Reese: (retching)

Alvin: A coward trying to get another man to do his dirty work. You’re the one who deserves to go next. And now you will.

(Reese laughs.)

Alvin: What are you laughing about?

Reese: I caught you. (He grabs hold of Alvin.)

(Police lights flash around the room. Police sirens can be heard outside.)

Alvin: Crap! Let go!

(There’s a struggle. Grunting. Alvin breaks free. Reese falls to the floor. Alvin tries to run.)

Alvin: No!

(Chloe tackles Alvin to the floor and starts to put handcuffs on him.)

Chloe: Stay down.

(Lucifer enters and sees that Chloe has Alvin subdued. He turns and sees Reese lying on his office floor, dying.)

(Reese gasping.)

Lucifer: Oh, Reesey. You lying down on the job? Don’t tell me, asthma.

Reese: That… or the poison I drank.

Lucifer: (looks at the glass on the floor) Well… you didn’t drink all of it.

Reese: I set things right. Maybe this will turn things around… with Linda.

(Reese gasping. Labored breathing. Reese closes his eyes.)

(Fade to black.)

(Reese wakes up in a hospital room. A nurse with a clipboard stands near his bed.)

Nurse: Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Getty.

(This is the same hospital room he woke up in at the beginning of the episode.)

Reese: What… what happened?

Nurse: Just a little brush with death. You had us worried there for a while.

Reese: Is my wife here?

Nurse: No. I’m sorry, you haven’t had any visitors.

Reese: Well… we have been having some trouble lately. But you know what? Second chance on life. Maybe it’s not too late to turn things around.

(The nurse smiles and leaves. Reese looks hopefully out the window. The camera pans back, and we pass through a door to see Reese in Hell, reliving the same scenario over and over again.)