S2 Ep10: Quid Pro Ho

(A bomb is affixed to the bottom of Chloe’s car. The Goddess stands in the alley with her hand on the bomb’s trigger with excited anticipation. Chloe walks up to her car and looks in her purse for her keys. Not finding them, she turns and walks back to the valet.)

Chloe: Excuse me. Yeah. (chuckles)

Valet: I’ll get it for you.

Chloe: Thank you.

(Back in the alley, The Goddess is disappointed. Amenadiel appears behind her.)

Amenadiel: You can’t k*ll her, Mom.

Goddess: Well, of course I can. I just press this button.

Amenadiel: Mom, please… give me the detonator.

Goddess: No. This little bug is the reason that Lucifer doesn’t want to go home. Squash her, problem solved.

Amenadiel: Are you really gonna make me force it away from you?

Goddess: Trust me, you don’t want to do that.

Amenadiel: But I can’t let you k*ll Chloe, Mom.

(Amenadiel steps towards The Goddess to stop her. She reaches out one hand, grabs him by his jacket collar, and lifts him into the air. He grunts)

Amenadiel: Since when can you…

Goddess: I tried to warn you. Apparently, paltry human flesh can’t contain my divinity.

(Just then, the valet starts Chloe’s car and does a U-turn to bring it over to her.)

Goddess: Oh, here we go. b*mb’s in the car. So exciting. (she giggles and drops Amenadiel)

Amenadiel: Mom, stop! (He steps between The Goddess and the street, blocking her view) I am trying to help you. I know Lucifer better than he knows himself, and if you k*ll Chloe, he won’t rest until he finds out who did it, and when he does, Mom, he will hate you forever.

Goddess: Come on. One little human can’t mean more to him than his family.

Amenadiel: He k*lled Uriel to protect her.

Goddess: Well… what’s so damn special about this one?

(The valet steps out of the car and holds the door for Chloe to get in.)

Amenadiel: That I don’t know. But, Mom, the bottom line is if we want Luci to go home with us, then we need to make sure that it’s his decision to leave Chloe behind.

Goddess: Well, that was anticlimactic.

(The Goddess groans and throws the trigger into the air. Amenadiel grunts, dives, and catches it before it hits the ground.)

Goddess: So, I need to find a more subtle way to end Lucifer’s silly crush. (sighs)

Linda: Tell me everything.

Lucifer: Well, there’s… nothing to say, really.

Dr. Linda: You had a date… with Chloe. That’s a big deal, Lucifer. I need to hear about it. You know, as your therapist.

Lucifer: Well, for one, I wouldn’t say it was a big deal and… it wasn’t a date, just dinner… more like a snack, actually, between friends.

Dr. Linda: Oh, how was the food? I’ve heard their branzino is amazing.

Lucifer: Well, yeah, it’s… hard to say, really.

Dr. Linda: Too caught up in the moment to notice?

Lucifer: Caught up, in-in a way, yes.

Dr. Linda: You chickened out, didn’t you?

Lucifer: (laughing) What? I’m the Devil, Doctor. I don’t chicken out. I just simply thought that she should enjoy the food without any… distractions.

Dr. Linda: Listen, you know, I get it. Our last breakthrough spooked you, and now you’re running scared.

Lucifer: I don’t “run scared” any more than I “chicken.”

Dr. Linda: (chuckles) Not literally. But you’re avoiding the truth.

Lucifer: Also known as lying. That I know I don’t do… ever.

Dr. Linda: But yet… You are lying, Lucifer… (laughs) …to yourself.

(Chloe opens the door to go out just as Lucifer arrives and walks in quickly past her.)

Lucifer: I owe you an explanation.

Chloe: Really? Why? Was it for… leaving me all alone at a restaurant so the busboy could give me pitiful glances all night? I know what your explanation is, and I don’t want to know her name, especially not today.

Lucifer: Actually, Detective, that isn’t what I was going to say, I…

Chloe: Look, Lucifer, I don’t have time for this. I was just on my way out. Besides, this is my fault. I should’ve known how selfish and thoughtless you can be.

Penelope: (enters from another room and throws her arms open as she approaches.) Lucifer. (chuckles) How thoughtful.

Lucifer: Penelope.

Penelope: You are the sweetest to come support us on such a difficult day.

Chloe: Oh. I bet you an arm and a leg, Mom, that he has no idea what today is.

Lucifer: Well, that’s rather unwise of you to wager your lovely extremities, Detective. Particularly as I’m perfectly aware of what today is, actually. It’s a very difficult day… because…

Chloe: Today.

Lucifer: Today is…

Chloe: The first day.

Lucifer: The first day… of…

Chloe: of the trial

Lucifer: of the trial of…

Chloe: my dad’s k*ller.

Lucifer: My dad’s k*ller! Nietzsche? No, wait. Your dad’s k*ller. Yes, no, I knew that. I knew that. That’s why I’m here, to support you. Not talk about myself ’cause that would be selfish.

Chloe: Yeah.

Lucifer: So… consider me an emotional jockstrap for the Decker family jewels. (chuckles)

(Dan is whistling as he meets Ella on the stairs, and they walk down together talking)

Dan: Hey.

Ella: Hmm, someone’s chirpy for a Monday morning.

Dan: Yes, I am.

Ella: Why? What’s going on?

Dan: What, do I need an excuse to be happy?

Ella: Hmm, I mean, you’re whistling. You’ve been… working out lately. Mm. (sniffs) Musk-scented aftershave. Did you… get laid?

Dan: (laughs) (scoffs) No. Oh, no, no.

Ella: Don’t waste your poker face on me, buddy. I know that grin.

Dan: I’m still in shock.

Ella: I knew it.

Dan: She’s gorgeous.

Ella: Yeah, well, it’s not like you’re Quasimodo.

Dan: No, no, no, no. Trust me, she is way out of my league. I mean, she is goddess-like. And she came back for seconds.

Ella: Then maybe she’s the one who sent you the mystery package.

(She looks over to the package sitting on his desk)

Dan: (pulling out a pocket knife) A mystery package? Mm-hmm. I don’t recognize the return address.

They both peer inside the open box. Dan turns away in disgust.

Dan: Oh, jeez. God!

Ella: (sighs without emotionally reacting) Wish I could say it was my first.

(She reaches in and pulls out a male human head)

Dan: That’s Boris. Chloe’s gonna lose it.

(he turns and rushes off)

(Penelope and Lucifer sit in the gallery, waiting)

Lucifer: (patting Penelope on the leg) So poised. The detective obviously gets her strength from you.

Penelope: (scoffs) This? It’s just acting. Sadly, I’ve had… practice. I played this role before, 16 years ago.

Lucifer: Well, maybe it’s like butt stuff. Easier the second time around.

(Chloe enters and speaks to them in a hushed voice.)

(whispering) The severed head of Boris Sokolov just arrived at the precinct.

Penelope: (whispering) That’s horrible! Who’s Boris?

Chloe: He’s the prosecution’s key witness. He’s our key witness. He was the only person that could connect Perry to the Russian g*ng. I mean, without him, the entire case could fall apart.

Penelope: Oh, God.

Lucifer: How very convenient for Mr. Perry.

((Penelope sighs. Warden Smith is led in by some officers))

Chloe: (whispering) This is the worst thing that could be happening right now.

(Montage of a woman walking into the courtroom who turns out to be The Goddess for the defense.)

Lucifer: What are you up to now, Mother?

Chloe: I had no idea Charlotte Richards was defending Perry. Wishing we hadn’t saved her life about now.

Lucifer: Well, not to worry, Detective. I hear Charlotte is a changed woman since her disappearance, so… maybe she’s not the shark she once was. At least not in the courtroom.

Bailiff: All rise. Court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Estrada presiding.

Judge Estrada: Given the sudden death of the State’s number one witness, I assume the defense is moving for a dismissal?

Goddess: A motion for dismissal? Why would I want that, Your Honor?

Lucifer: (chuckles) Looks like Jaws has been harpooned.

Goddess: (nervous and trying to think on her feet) My apologies. I’m a little… out of practice. Um… Oh, I see. You’re saying that with Boris dead, the State doesn’t have enough evidence to proceed? So, if I don’t move for dismissal, then he’ll probably make a complete fool of himself?

Stedman: Your Honor, our case was and still is unshakable. The State has plenty of other evidence that’ll prove 16 years ago, the defendant, Perry Smith, m*rder*d Officer John Decker and paid Joe Fields to go to prison for that crime. Oh, and when Fields wanted out of their deal, Perry also k*lled him. Your Honor, with all due respect, granting a dismissal would be ludicrous. Boris Sokolov’s death, while undoubtedly tragic, changes nothing.

Goddess: Well, the defense agrees.

Stedman: What?

Goddess: His death doesn’t change a single thing. With or without Mr. Sokolov’s testimony, my client should never have been charged with these crimes.

Judge Estrada: Well… seeing as both parties agree, the trial will proceed immediately.

Stedman: Actually, Your Honor, the State would like to, uh, request a continuance. In light of the death of our key witness, our office needs time to, uh, reexamine its strategy.

Goddess: But I’m confused, Your Honor. Didn’t we just hear the prosecution say their case was “unshakable”?

Judge Estrada: We did. Request denied. Session will resume after lunch.

(She bangs her gavel. The prosecutor looks concerned. Lucifer looks confused.)

Lucifer: What the hell are you doing, Mother?

Goddess: Oh, calm down, Lucifer. This isn’t pleasant for me, either.

Lucifer: Oh, yes, I can see you’re suffering terribly.

Goddess: I was good up there, wasn’t I? Not sure why humans spend so much time in law school. Two nights seemed plenty.

Lucifer: Mum.

Goddess: I had to find a way to open your eyes. You need to see that this Chloe you so adore isn’t worthy of you.

Lucifer: (scoffs) I admit I enjoy working with her, but adore, that’s a bit much.

Goddess: Oh, please. You’ve sacrificed more for her than you ever have for anyone else. Have you forgotten? You k*lled your brother, my son, to protect her. Do you think there’s anything even remotely similar that she would do for you?

Lucifer: I suppose… I don’t know.

Goddess: Well, if all goes according to plan in that courtroom, you will know. Know that she doesn’t deserve you, because she doesn’t care about you like you care about her. You need to see that you’re not meant to be together. You belong with your family. Which is why I have to do this.

Lucifer: Do what, Mum? What sort of evil plan are you concocting? And please don’t tell me it began by k*lling Boris.

Goddess: Oh, actually, that was just a happy twist of fate. I was gonna blow Chloe up, but Amenadiel talked me out of it.

Lucifer: You what?! Mother, I swear, if you hurt her, I will rip…

Goddess: Well, looks like your brother was right.

Lucifer: Just promise me that you won’t touch her.

Goddess: (reassuringly touching his face) I’m not going to hurt anyone.

(The Goddess turns and walks away, leaving Lucifer standing there bewildered. Just then, Chloe comes up to him.)

Chloe: Lucifer, you promise me, whatever that was, that it doesn’t affect the trial.

Lucifer: First of all, Detective, there is no “that.” And secondly, rest assured, everything will be okay. I’ve got this.

(Lucifer rushes off and approaches the Prosecutor, shaking hands)

(Chloe is rifling through papers as Dan walks in)

Dan: You looking for Boris’ forensics report?

Chloe: (sighs) Uh-huh.

Dan: Hasn’t come in yet. Ella should have it any minute now.

Chloe: I know this isn’t my case, but I’m freaking out, Dan. I can’t let Perry get away with everything.

Dan: You won’t.

Chloe: You didn’t see Charlotte Richards in court today.

Dan: (high-pitched) Char…? (clears his throat)

Ella: I’m sorry. Uh, Charlotte Richards is, uh, defending Perry?

Chloe: Yeah.

Ella: Really? She’s that good?

Chloe: Yes, she’s the best. Which is why it would be helpful if we could… Well, if you could tie Perry to Boris’ m*rder.

Ella: Okay, well, motive and M.O. line up. Boris’ tongue was cut out. So the k*ller was sending a really clear message… Loose lips get their head clipped.

Chloe: Perry did this so Boris couldn’t testify. I know it.

Ella: But hasn’t he been behind bars since you arrested him?

Dan: Yeah, but he could have orchestrated it in prison. It’s also his M.O.

Chloe: Exactly, and if Perry is good at anything, it’s making other people pay for his crimes.

Ella: Okay, well, whoever Perry hired to do this was one sharp dude. The cut on Boris’ neck is extremely precise. I’m thinking industrial-size professional slicer.

Dan: Listen, I’m gonna do everything I can to find him.

Dan: Even if I have to interview the owner of every single meat slicer in L.A.

Ella: You won’t have to. There was also non-human DNA on Boris. Swine, to be exact. A unique crossbred for its delicious meat. And there’s only one place that sells it.

(Lucifer leans against a banister, waiting. Chloe comes downstairs)

Lucifer: Ah!

Chloe: Hi. That’s so sweet of you, but you don’t have to stick around. Trials can be so boring.

Lucifer: Well, not this one.

Chloe: What do you mean?

Stedman: Mr. Morningstar, we’re ready for you.

Lucifer: Wonderful. Lovely. Right. Off I go to shield you from that Quid Pro h*, Detective.

Chloe: Lucifer, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Well, I figured there’s no reason for us to lose our heads just because Boris lost his.

(Lucifer is on the stand)

Lucifer: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me, Dad.

Stedman: Mr. Morningstar, you were there when Boris was arrested. Right? Working with Detective Espinoza.

Lucifer: That is correct. Except I call him Detective d*uche. (laughter) But that’s another story.

Stedman: So, would you please describe to us what happened?

Lucifer: Yes, I’d love to, actually. May-may I have the floor?

Stedman: By all means.

Lucifer: Thank you.

(Lucifer stands up, walks over to a juror.)

Lucifer: I’m going to need… Hello. May I borrow your scarf?

Goddess: Your Honor, is this necessary?

Lucifer: Well, you want the full story, don’t you? I mean, the Devil’s in the details. Thank you ever so much. Right. Myself and Detective d*uche… Sorry, Detective Espinoza… Were asked by the LAPD to perform a sting operation.

(What follows is a montage of quick cuts to different points in the story of Lucifer and Dan’s sting operation.)

Not the singer. (laughter) So we had to go undercover at Boris’ bathhouse. g*ns of steel… Got up there… (imitated slashing sound) Walked over like he’s constantly got a g*n between his legs… Boris looked me in the eye, and he said, (Russian accent) “People call me human lie detector.” He was going to k*ll… Shook my hand like some kind of Roman warrior… …and it was sealed, and I handed over the investigation to Detective Decker. Thank you.

(laughter, applause)

(Dan and Ella wait for the butcher to be free to talk)

Dan: I got a question. Do you ever get the feeling like you’ve been used? You mean, by… Oh, I don’t know…

Ella: The woman who’s defending the k*ller of your ex-wife’s dad?

Dan: What?

Ella: Charlotte Richards is the gorgeous lady you slept with, right?

Dan: How the hell did you know that?

Ella: Well, I saw a long, honey-blonde hair on your coat the other day. It was curlier than Chloe’s. And then, I spotted a smudge of lipstick on your cuff… Burgundy shade. Bold, but not too sexy. Lawyer color.

Dan: Really?

Ella: No. I just saw your butt pucker when Chloe mentioned her name in the lab this morning. God. Why are you so worried? I mean, you didn’t tell her anything about the case that she could use in court, right?

Dan: I don’t think so, but…

Ella: There you go.

Dan: Mezcal cocktail, man.

Ella: Oof. Those sneak up on you.

Dan: She did keep wanting to talk about our exes, and all I thought was, you know what, she’s so easy to talk to. She’s so sympathetic. God, I’m such an idiot.

Ella: Hey…

Dan: No, her taking Perry’s case right after we… It can’t be a coincidence.

Ella: Why not? Maybe she really just likes you.

Dan: Yeah. (he says sarcastically )

Butcher: 44.

Ella: Hi. We’ll take the headless body of a dude named Boris, please.

(Dan shows his badge)

Butcher: I was going to call you guys. I was just… scared. A few days ago, this guy approached me. Big creepy dude. He demanded the keys to use the equipment after hours. No questions asked, unless I wanted to end up in the sausage myself.

Dan: Do you know his name?

Butcher: No. Asian, big. Very scary. But the scar on his neck. It’s very distinctive.

(Lucifer is still on the stand)

Stedman: Thank you, Mr. Morningstar. What a, uh, vivid picture. It’s almost as if Boris himself just testified.

Judge Estrada: (quietly speaking to Lucifer) Except a more handsome version.

Lucifer: Oh, stop it, Judy. (chuckles)

Stedman: (clears throat) Thank you.

Lucifer: Right, actually, to that, I would like to add one more thing, if I may…

Goddess: I think we’ve had enough, Your Honor.

Judge Estrada: Shh! Please… continue Luc… Mr. Morningstar.

Lucifer: Thank you, my darling. Yes, I’d just like to say, for the record, the LAPD and Detective Decker, in particular, acted impeccably on this case. This whole courtroom, nay, the entire city, can rest assured that someone as honest, trustworthy, and reliable as Detective Decker is out there protecting them. She is… truly good. And I don’t mean in bed. I wouldn’t know. That’s how good she is.

Stedman: Thank you. Miss Richards? Your witness.

(The Goddess and Lucifer exchange long, hard stares)

Goddess: I have no questions at this time.

(thunder crashes. It’s raining slightly. Amenadiel jogs up to Chloe’s car and looks underneath)

Maze: Hey! That’s Chloe’s car. What are you looking for?

Amenadiel: Hey. I was, um… You. I was looking for you.

Maze: Really?

Amenadiel: Yeah, I’ve missed you. It’s true, I still think about you, Maze. Every day. And every time that I see you, it’s…

Maze: I miss you, too.

Maze: It’s like fireworks, isn’t it? (chuckles) But are you sure that’s the kind you’re looking for? Or was it this?

(She steps back, raises her hand holding the trigger, and clicks it, blowing up a car.)

Maze: One… tell your mother no one is hurting Chloe on my watch. And, two… Don’t ever lie to me like that again.

(Dan is on the stand testifying)

Stedman: And what did Boris have to say when you interrogated him?

Dan: He confessed that he routinely provided fall guys for the Russian g*ng that runs the prison where the defendants worked since the late ’90s.

Stedman: And is there anything else that is remarkable about this prison?

Dan: It is the very prison whose corruption John Decker was investigating when he was m*rder*d 16 years ago.

Stedman: Holy cow. It’s all so coincidental, isn’t it? Just like the odd timing of Boris’ m*rder. I withdraw that, Your Honor. No further questions. Thank you, Detective.

Goddess: I have no questions for this witness.

Stedman: The prosecution rests, Your Honor.

Judge Estrada: Your turn to shine, Ms. Richards.

Goddess: As its first witness, the defense would like to recall Lucifer Morningstar.

Lucifer: (Chloe looks concerned. Lucifer pats her on the leg as he stands up) Oh, it’s fine.

Goddess: Just one small question, Mr. Morningstar. And please remember that you’re still under oath. Who was first on the Fields crime scene?

Lucifer: First on the scene was the detective, I believe.

Goddess: I’m sorry, which detective?

Lucifer: Detective Decker.

Goddess: Are you sure? How do you know?

Lucifer: Quite sure. Yeah, she told me.

Goddess: It’s kind of strange, isn’t it, for the man accused of k*lling John Decker to be found dead by Decker’s own daughter, Chloe Decker?

Stedman: Objection, Your Honor. Relevance?

Goddess: I’m getting to that. Would you please read who, according to the official police report, was the first officer on the scene?

Penelope: (seeing Chloe is concerned, she whispers to her) What’s wrong? (Chloe shakes her off)

Chloe: I’ll tell you later.

Lucifer: Well, it says Detective Espinoza.

Goddess: I thought you said Chloe Decker was an impeccable detective.

Stedman: Objection, Your Honor!

Lucifer: No, I-I’d like to answer that. She is. That’s why she took herself off the investigation immediately.

Goddess: But not until after she’d “found” (making air quotes) her dad’s k*ller dead?

Lucifer: (groans)

Stedman: Objection!

Goddess: What’s he objecting to… Air quotes? I’m simply stating that if what we just heard is true, then there’s a very plausible alternative story to the one that the State is presenting. Chloe Decker had motive, opportunity, and the LAPD to protect her and help her frame an innocent man for her personal vendetta.

Stedman: With all due respect, Your Honor, Chloe Decker is not on trial here.

Goddess: And my client shouldn’t be, either. Because it appears he is the victim of the LAPD’s incompetence. Unless, of course, the report is right, and it is you that is lying, Mr. Morningstar?

Lucifer: What you’re implying is preposterous. The Detective would never hurt anyone. But yes. What I said is the truth. Under oath or otherwise. I don’t lie.

(Chloe is walking angrily while Lucifer rushes to catch up to her.)

Lucifer: Detective? Please.

Chloe: Trust me, you do not want to talk to me right now.

Lucifer: You’re right, I don’t. You look scary. But look, I apologize for my controversial testimony, but I was clearly bamboozled. You didn’t expect me to lie on the stand, did you?

Chloe: It’s not about your answers. It’s about Charlotte’s questions. She wouldn’t have even asked them unless she already knew I was first on scene. Let’s see. Who could’ve told her?

Lucifer: Detective, I didn’t.

Chloe: You say that, but you also said your relationship with Charlotte wouldn’t affect this trial. It just did.

(Chloe storms off, leaving Lucifer standing there)

Lucifer: Detective!

((Lucifer bewildered walks away. Behind them we see The Goddess observing them and looking satisfied. Dan walks up to her.) )

Dan: Charlotte? How could you do this to me?

Goddess: What exactly? I’ve done several things to you.

Dan: Did you sleep with me to get intel on this case?

Goddess: Of course, but it’s not like you didn’t get anything out of it. “Mind-altering,” I believe you called it.

Dan: Yeah, literally, apparently. Because I don’t remember telling you anything about this case. Did you roofie me or something?

Goddess: I didn’t need to. I’ve learned sex puts your gender into a mild coma. Offered the perfect window to go through your phone. So, maybe… next time, you should put your phone away before we have the s*x.

Dan: “Next time”?

Dan: Are you insane?

(Goddess: Mm-hmm. She licks his ear and grabs his butt)

Goddess: (whispers) You tell me.

Dan: (sighs) (they go their separate ways)

Linda: I wish I could say that I’m surprised Maze blew up your car.

(Amenadiel sits on the sofa holding the blown-up steering wheel of the car)

Dr. Linda: She is… Maze.

Amenadiel: I know, right? Slightest provocation, and she turns into a little…

Dr. Linda: Hellion?

Amenadiel: Exactly.

Dr. Linda: Let me ask you though… Why do you think that she reacted so… passionately?

Amenadiel: Because she’s a complete maniac fueled by rage and violence.

Dr. Linda: Now, as your friend, not your… therapist, you feel you did nothing at all to anger her?

Amenadiel: Well, s…Maybe not nothing. I may have obscured the truth a bit.

Dr. Linda: Otherwise known as lying.

Amenadiel: Linda, I had no choice. You have to understand that.

Dr. Linda: Oh, I do. Oh, I do. You were… You were dealing with matters of great importance. So important, you feel justified to act any way you see fit. Even if that means hurting people you care about. You “did what you had to do.”

Amenadiel: (exhales) That’s, uh… that’s what I did to you. I treated Maze the same way that I treated you.

Dr. Linda: Yeah, except I’m just your friend. And Maze is… well, more. So, it’s way worse.

Amenadiel: And as my friend, your advice is?

Dr. Linda: Apologize your a*s off. Or next time, she might blow that up.

Amenadiel: (sighs)

Maze: Maybe you don’t understand.

(Maze is yelling at Lucifer, who is sitting with a drink in his hand)

Maze: Mommy Dearest tried to k*ll Chloe.

Lucifer: Oh, I understand. She told me.

Maze: She did?

Lucifer: Yes. We’re past that. What I don’t understand, though, is how the detective can think I’m the one who leaked sensitive information to my mum. How could she?

Maze: Yeah, Chloe’s the bad guy.

Lucifer: Mm. If only I knew who really gave Mom that information.

(elevator doors open and Dan walks in)

Maze: Right. If only.

Lucifer: Oh! Good. You came.

Maze: (sarcastically) Yes, he did. Thanks for coming, Dan. Anything up lately?

Dan: I don’t know. You tell me. Lucifer called me here.

Lucifer: Yes. Well, I was thinking, as my testimony didn’t go quite as planned, that it might help fix things to prove that Perry was behind Boris’ k*lling.

Dan: Already working on it, man.

Lucifer: Fantastic! Well then, please tell me you have some scintillating cop-speak on how to accomplish that tiny task.

Dan: Well, uh, the guy who chopped Boris’s head off had this scar. It’s actually a brand. Signature of the Alhambra Triads, they’re a Chinese crime syndicate. Lots of them were in the prison that Perry ran. Triads hate the Russians, so makes sense to pit them against each other.

Maze: Yeah. You should definitely probe this angle.

Lucifer: Mm. (sniffles)

Dan: Rumors are they use a Chinese Cultural Center as a front.

Lucifer: Right. Well, let’s start there then, shall we?

(Lucifer, Dan, and Maze walk towards the entrance)

Dan: These guys are notoriously violent, so let’s try to get in and out as quickly as possible, all right?

Maze: Oh, speaking of “in and out,” this case really seems to be touching you, Dan. You know, in a very personal way.

Dan: All right. Shh. Yeah. It’s personal, obviously. Just try to keep it down, all right?

Maze: Well, it’s almost like you want to take Charlotte Richards down yourself. Like, way down, and give her a hard time.

Dan: What are you trying to say, Maze?

Lucifer: Yes, what are you driving at, Maze?

Maze: “Driving at.” Good one. N-No. I’m just… really impressed with how much Dan wants to penetrate this thing from every position.

Dan: You know?

Maze: Oh, yeah.

Lucifer: Know what?

Maze: I bet that’s what she said, didn’t she? Oh, yeah! Oh, Dan! Big boy.

Dan: (growling) All right, all right! Fine. Yes. It’s my fault. I leaked the information to Charlotte.

Maze: Among other things.

Dan: I’m why she knew Chloe was first at the scene. She must have looked at my text messages after we…

Lucifer: You what?

Dan: Made… love.

Lucifer: You slept with my… M-arlotte? You b*stard!

(Lucifer, enraged, grabs Dan and pushes him through doors, shattering them, as both fall to the floor into the building.)

Dan: Whoa!

Both: (grunting)

(g*ns clicking as they are surrounded by g*nman)

Lucifer: Oh, now look what you’ve done.

Dan: Wha…?

(Dan and Lucifer stand up, and Lucifer stops Dan from acting like a cop)

Lucifer: Da-da… Don’t be a Dan. I’ll deal with this. Right. Which one of you chaps is in charge? Oh, very well. (speaks in Chinese)

Dan: You speak Chinese?

Lucifer: What…? I’m the Devil. Of course I speak Chinese. I speak everything.

(The g*nmen step back to reveal a Chinese woman sitting behind a table.)

Lucifer: (continues speaking in Chinese) …Lucifer Morningstar. (continues speaking in Chinese)

(woman stands and walks around the table, speaks in Chinese)

Lucifer: Lovely. (he steps forward to speak with her)

Woman: Furen Li Chunhua.

Lucifer: (speaking in Chinese) …Daniel.

Dan: (to Maze) What’s he saying over there?

Maze: No idea.

Lucifer: Xie xie. (walks back to Dan and Maze.) Okeydokes. I think I’ve brokered a fair deal. Madame Li is gonna give us the man who k*lled Boris. All we have to do is defeat Kang.

Dan: And who the hell is Kang?

Dan: (laughing) (chuckles) And who’s supposed to fight him?

(Lucifer points to Maze, but Dan thinks Lucifer is pointing to him)

Dan: Aww, hell no. No, no.

Lucifer: Much as I’d like to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden d*uche, I’d actually like to win this. I was pointing at Maze.

(scoffs, grunts when Maze punches him in the arm)

Maze: Why not?

Dan: Okay, sure. She’s terrifying. But what happens if we lose?

Lucifer: They k*ll us. Well, you. ‘Cause I’m immortal. Right. Shall we?

(Maze punches in the shoulder)

Kang steps forward with large, thick swords.

Kang: Choose your weapon.

Maze: I choose those. (Pointing at the two swords Kang is holding.)

(Kang gives a flurry of sword swipes in the air)

Maze: You done?

(fight ensues. punches, screams) (grunts)

Maze: Hoo-ah.

Lucifer: She likes that move.

(Kang exclaims)

(crunches. Maze gets swords around Kang’s throat)

Lucifer: (wolf whistles) Down, girl.

Maze: Are you serious?

Lucifer: Well, I mean, you did get two new toys.

Woman: Well, that sucked.

Lucifer: Hmm?

Woman: But a deal’s a deal.

Lucifer: Indeed.

Woman: The one you seek was banished for working outside the family. We don’t break bread with strangers. You’ll find him at this address.

Lucifer: Xie Xie.

Woman: No problem.

Lucifer: (to Dan) See? Easy peasy, Chinese-y.

(Chloe and Penelope walk towards the courtroom)

Chloe: Dan’s got a lead on Boris’ k*ller, and it may implicate Perry. So, if he is responsible, it might not matter what happens in this trial.

Penelope: Well, that’s great, ’cause we are getting our asses kicked.

Chloe: Well. I have to testify next. I just hope I don’t make things worse.

Penelope: Oh, you’ll do great, honey. You’re a pro.

Chloe: Right, Mom. A real pro. Like when I followed the prison van. Mom, what if I’m the reason Dad’s k*ller goes free?

Penelope: Don’t you dare. No father in the world was more proud of his daughter than your dad. And nothing you could do in that courtroom or anywhere will ever change that.

(footsteps)

Chloe: I just miss him. I want him to get the justice he deserves.

Goddess: Justice is what we all want, dear. For your father, and for my client.

Penelope: You’re a mother. Aren’t you?

Goddess: Yes.

Penelope: Then shame on you.

(Penelope walks away. Goddess addresses Chloe)

Goddess: We need to talk.

Dan: Man, he better be here. If we can convince him to give up Perry, I won’t feel so bad about having slept with Charl…

(They enter a building. Dan has his g*n drawn as he takes the lead)

Lucifer: La la la la! No more talk of that disgusting offense, please.

Dan: I thought you said you hadn’t slept with her.

Lucifer: I haven’t, wouldn’t ever. I’m just upset for the detective.

Dan: What, you think I’m not? I would do anything to right this.

Lucifer: (sighs) I know you would.

(They enter a storage room where two men sit at a table)

Dan: LAPD! Put your hands where I can see ’em!

(Coming closer, they see the men are dead)

Dan: Whoa!

Lucifer: Well, looks like we found Boris at the head of the table, ironically.

Dan: And that’s Da Young. I’d say we were right. Perry hired him to go behind the Triad’s back to k*ll Boris, knowing that they’d punish him for it.

Lucifer: Clever Perry k*lled two birds with one stone. Three, if you count the chicken.

(Chloe and The Goddess talk)

Chloe: You’ve got a lot of nerve.

Goddess: Yes, I’ve been told. And legs for days. Now, listen, you’re losing bad. Without Boris, the prosecution’s evidence is mostly circumstantial. And, unfortunately for you, Lucifer’s testimony basically handed me a non-guilty verdict. This trial is over.

Chloe: Maybe. But the investigation into that monster that you call a client is ongoing. So one way or another, he wi…

(cell phone rings)

Goddess: Hmm. Bad news? I may have a solution. My client isn’t fully aware we’re winning. However, he is more than aware that he’s facing the death penalty. And we both know he’s a coward. I could use the possibility of a lethal injection to get him to plead guilty.

Chloe: You’re supposed to be on his side. Why are you doing this?

Goddess: Well, there is one condition. You’d have to betray Lucifer. So… you want Perry to go to jail, call Lucifer a liar.

Chloe: “A liar”?

Goddess: If there’s one thing he cares about more than anything, it’s his honor. See you in court.

Chloe: (clears her throat)

Inside Courtroom

(Chloe is on the stand)

Goddess: Detective Decker, Lucifer Morningstar is your partner, correct?

Chloe: Yes. He’s a civilian consultant for the LAPD. We work cases together.

Goddess: And how is he qualified for this role?

Chloe: He is very, uh, intuitive. He, um, understands people’s desires.

Goddess: And in addition to that, I assume he studied law enforcement?

Chloe: Not to my knowledge, no.

Goddess: Oh, okay. But he has a professional background which is somehow relevant to law enforcement?

Chloe: He owns a nightclub.

Goddess: Okay, but then, I’m sure his previous job was more relevant to his role as a civilian consultant for the LAPD? Right?

Chloe: Mm. Well, if you believe his claims that he used to run Hell…

(The Goddess, who is taking a sip of water, chokes, clears throat)

Chloe: …then yes, he’s accustomed to punishing bad guys.

(muffled murmurs)

Lucifer: (whispers to someone off-screen) It’s true.

Goddess: I’m confused, Detective. Are you suggesting your partner is delusional, or just lying?

Chloe: Lucifer Morningstar is many things, but he is not a liar. Everything that Mr. Morningstar said on this stand is absolutely true. I was the first person on that crime scene. And, yes, I shouldn’t have been anywhere near it. But I… let my emotions get the best of me.

(clears her throat)

Chloe: Lucifer is the… …best partner I have ever had. And I can only hope that he can count on me as much as I count on him.

Stedman: Your Honor, we request the jury be instructed to disregard Detective Decker’s entire testimony.

Judge Estrada: We’ll take a ten-minute recess.

(overlapping reporter chatter)

Reporter: Harry, are you surprised by that “not guilty” verdict?

Warden Smith: No. I’m never surprised to see justice served. I believe in our legal system. And now I can finally return to my family a free man, so, if you’ll excuse me.

(cameras clicking) (reporters calling for Chloe) (seagulls squawking)

(Penelope sits on a bench waiting. Amenadiel walks up to their door holding flowers. Peers in, then moves away from the door to where Penelope is sitting)

Amenadiel: I’m sorry to bother you, um, I was, um… I’m looking for Maze. Do you know what apartment she lives in?

Penelope: Oh, yes, but she’s not home. Why, did you get in a fight? (laughs) I’m sorry, it’s none of my business. It’s just, my husband… always gave me flowers after an argument.

Amenadiel: Are you all right?

Penelope: (sighs) (Amenadiel sits down next to her) I used to believe everything happens for a reason. But now, I’m not so sure.

Amenadiel: (chuckles) Me neither. But I do know that no matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer. Or inflict.

Penelope: That’s well said. Maze is a lucky girl. Hope she forgives you.

Amenadiel: Ha! Huh. (He now looks closely at Penelope and suddenly becomes serious.)

Penelope: I’m sorry, you… You look really familiar. I’m Chloe’s mom? Have we met?

Amenadiel: No, I don’t believe we have. I never forget a face. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go.

Penelope: Oh.

(Warden Smith stumbles out half-drunk)

Warden Smith: Good night, Rosie.

Dan: Perry Smith. I know you had Boris k*lled. I also know you’re responsible for the m*rder of Jill Fields and John Decker.

Warden Smith: Aw, such a shame there’s no evidence, right? The system kind of needs proof.

Dan: Yeah. You clean your mess, we got nada. But you know who’s okay with nada? Or shall I say nichego? Yeah, that’s right. You see, the Russians, they don’t like it when one of their own is taken out without permission. But who knows? Maybe they won’t hear about it.

(Van pulls up. Men with g*ns grab Perry Smith, put a bag over his head, and drag him to the van)

Warden Smith: Whoa. Aah! (muffled shouting)

(Dan climbs into a waiting car where Maze is talking on her phone)

Maze: My pleasure, Meesha. Dozvidanya.

(van tires screeching as it pulls away)

Maze: I didn’t think you had it in you. I’m impressed.

Dan: Drive.

(The lights are off. The Goddess walks in to find Amenadiel leaning against her desk)

Amenadiel: You were right. You are nothing like Father.

Goddess: Oh? What changed your mind?

Amenadiel: If I tell you this, you have to come completely clean with me, Mother. No more secrets, Mom. No more lies.

Goddess: Okay. What happened?

Amenadiel: 35 years ago, Father, He asked me to come down here to bless a couple who was unable to have a child. He had never asked me to do anything of this sort, and He never did again. Today… I met the mother again. And I found out what the result of that miracle was. Or, rather, who.

(Elevator bell dings. Doors open and Chloe walks out)

Chloe: Oh, hey.

Lucifer: Detective.

Chloe: Sorry, I thought…

Lucifer: What are you doing here?

Chloe: Are you on your way out?

Lucifer: I am, yes.

Chloe: Oh…

Lucifer: To see you, actually.

Chloe: Oh.

Lucifer: I believe I owe you dinner.

Goddess: Now we know why Chloe’s so special. Don’t we? Your Father put her here. In Lucifer’s path. You know what this means?

Amenadiel: It means… that I was a pawn.

(Lucifer pours Chloe some wine)

Lucifer: Say when.

Chloe: When! (chuckles) When.

Lucifer: I hope you know it takes months to get a reservation at this place.

Chloe: Oh, yeah. The fries are amazing.

Lucifer: Oh, thank you. I made them myself. (they laugh)

Goddess: It means Chloe’s not an obstacle. She’s how you’ll get your wings back. She’s how we’ll get it all back.

Lucifer: Detective? What you said today in the courtroom…

Chloe: (touching his arm) It was the truth.

Goddess: We’re going home, son. And Chloe is the Key.