S2 Ep18: The Good, the Bad, and the Crispy

(The Goddess sits in front of Chet’s dead body, stapling her belly. She grabs one of Chet’s legs and drags him closer to the desk. She picks up the phone and dials.)

Goddess: Hello? It’s Charlotte Richards. I need a favor.

(She kicks Chet’s body to the side so it won’t be seen, picks up her coat, and leaves while still on the phone.)

(Amenadiel is happy. He’s moving the two-part flaming sword and watching his necklace follow it.)

Amenadiel: Would you look at that, Luci? It really is the final piece. Unbelievable.

Lucifer: Oh, no, I believe it. It’s classic Dad. Hanging the final piece of the Flaming Sword right under our noses… Well… Your nose, this entire time… I know, right? It’s ridiculous. I mean, if that isn’t the biggest celestial bird Dad’s ever flipped.

Amenadiel: What are you talking about? This means that I’m the favorite son.

Lucifer: Uh, no, it means that once again Dad is manipulating us six ways to Sunday. But, hey, what’s new? At least we have it now. So… Well, hand it over, Brother. The sword’s not gonna ignite itself. It… (Lucifer reaches for the necklace and Amenadiel steps away from him) Oh, just give it to me. (Amenadiel steps away) Give it to me. (Amenadiel steps away) Right, don’t be silly, Brother. You know I’m ten times stronger than you.

Amenadiel: But I’m the favorite.

Lucifer: Oh, right. Of course. That one… Right, don’t make me hurt you. Remember, you’re not the angel you once were.

Amenadiel: No, Luci, you’re right, I’m not.

Lucifer: Well, oh. I didn’t mean to make you all broody again.

Amenadiel: No, it’s okay. I just need a little time to process what it all means.

Lucifer: Process? Okay. Fine. Suppose we’re in no real rush. Process away… (Lucifer heads to the bar to make a drink, and while his back is turned, Amenadiel leaves by the elevator) I think I’ve got E.T. on the DVR if you need a good weep and a pint of Häagen-Dazs® in the freezer if that helps. (He suddenly realizes he’s talking to an empty room.)

(Linda enters her office. Charlotte is sitting on the sofa waiting for her.)

Dr. Linda: (surprised and shocked) You scared me! God!

Goddess: Goddess. But whatever. I need medical attention. I’m wounded.

Dr. Linda: Then go to a hospital.

Goddess: This isn’t exactly a human injury, and since you know who, or rather what I am, I would appreciate it if you would just patch me up.

Dr. Linda: Why does everybody keep doing this to me? I am a doctor, but patching people up isn’t my thing.

Goddess: Oh… It is now.

Dr. Linda: Suppose I could take a gander.

Goddess: Wonderful… I should warn you, you might have to…

(Charlotte opens her dress and her light burns a hole in the wall.)

Goddess: Duck.

Dr. Linda: What?! Who did that to you? I mean, was it Lucifer? I-I mean… Not on purpose, you know. Accidentally, like with that Flaming Sword thingy… All right, let me see what I got here… (she rifles through a drawer and pulls out a first aid kit in one hand and duct tape in the other. She throws the first aid kit away.) Okay, duct tape. Trust me. This stuff’s amazing.

(Lucifer is checking his phone as he and Chloe enter the warehouse and walk towards the crime scene.)

Lucifer: This is ridiculous. You have experience with emotionally fragile men, don’t you?

Chloe: You’re self-aware today.

Lucifer: No, I meant Dan. Anyway, tell me, how do you stop them from overthinking everything?

Chloe: Who’s overthinking?

Lucifer: Amenadiel. Leave it to him to turn a compliment into something to angst over. I mean, he should be happy he’s Dad’s favorite.

Chloe: Wait, your dad didn’t actually tell you guys that, did he?

Lucifer: Well, in so many Sumerian words, yes.

Chloe: You know, the more I hear about your dad, the more I understand why you’re… You know, you.

(Chloe and Lucifer arrive at the dead body.)

Ella: Body dump. Weird one, too, and not just ’cause of the obvious buck naked, deep-fried head thing. But someone also shaved this poor guy’s entire body.

Lucifer: Well, maybe our poor k*ller’s just chaetophobic. Fear of hair. Always fun when they turn up in Hell. Lots of wigs involved.

Ella: But I’m pretty sure… This guy got a bath in bleach.

Chloe: So, whoever dumped him is a pro.

Lucifer: It’s like he just vanished off the face of the Earth.

Ella: I know. But it’s pretty tough for someone to cover every track.

Chloe: If anyone can find something, it’s you, Ella.

Ella: Aw, that is so sweet!

Lucifer: Yes, well, u-until you do, I’ve got some personal business I need to tend to.

Ella: ‘Cause, you know, you’re not so much with the nice words, but when they come out…

(Lucifer is trying to enter Linda’s practice, but the door’s locked. Linda finally opens the door, acting weird.)

Lucifer: Doctor.

Dr. Linda: Hi. Lucifer, what’s up?

Lucifer: I’m wondering if you’ve seen Amenadiel.

Dr. Linda: Nope. Haven’t seen that family member. No.

Lucifer: Can you stop being weird and just let me in?

(Lucifer pushes his way in.)

Lucifer: Mum. What are you doing here?

Goddess: Oh, you know, girl stuff.

Lucifer: Naked girl stuff? Dr. Linda, I had no idea… What is that? All right, out with it, Mother.

Goddess: It’s nothing. That spoiled brat, Chet Ruiz, stabbed me, and now I’m bleeding light. It’s… It’s no big deal.

Lucifer: What? That’s a huge deal. Mum, if your powers are returning to this degree, then your human body won’t be able to contain it, you’ll… You’ll burst. Oh, no. I need to find Amenadiel now.

Goddess: I’d rather you didn’t. I mean, it’s bad enough that you’ll be worried.

Lucifer: No, that’s just it, Mum. Amenadiel has the missing piece of the sword.

Goddess: You’re k… You’re kidding. Son, why didn’t you say something? Now we can finally ignite it and cut through the Gates of Heaven, and I can see my… I can… I can see my children.

Lucifer: Yes. Yes, but for now, I need to find Amenadiel, and you need to stay away from humans… You’re a… Ticking b*mb.

Goddess: Uh, um, actually, speaking of that, I… may have already harmed… Someone.

Lucifer: Oh, no. No, no, no. I just came from a crime scene… The man with a burned head. Please tell me that isn’t Chet. The detective is on that case.

Goddess: Well, not to worry. I had a pro clean up the mess.

Lucifer: You don’t understand. The Detective is good, annoyingly good.

Goddess: Well, then we just need to find Amenadiel, don’t we?

Lucifer: Yes.

Goddess: And get the piece.

Lucifer: Because if we don’t get you back to Heaven before the detective gets to you, then she is quite literally toast.

(Lucifer knocks on Chloe’s door. Trixie opens.)

Trixie: Did you slip on a banana peel, too?

Lucifer: What?

Trixie: I’m afraid you’re gonna need surgery.

(Trixie opens the door; Lucifer sees Maze sitting with a fake bandage around her head.)

Maze: Don’t fight it. The kid’s fierce.

Lucifer: I…

(Trixie is fixing Lucifer.)

Lucifer: So, I left Mum in the wine cellar at Lux, and that’s the situation. Ouch.

Maze: Baby. I still don’t get why you’re here.

Lucifer: Because I need the best bounty hunter out there. I can deal with the detective, but I need you to find Amenadiel. Then we can get the pendant, assemble the sword before Mum spews light everywhere.

Trixie: You don’t have to speak in code. I can handle adult stuff.

Maze: So what if your mother explodes? Why should I care?

Lucifer: Because many, many humans could get hurt.

Maze: Yeah, and?

Lucifer: Oh, nice try, Maze, but I happen to know there’s a few that you care about.

Maze: Fine. But you pay me my standard fee. No freebies.

Lucifer: Absolutely… Oh. Love me a lolli.

Trixie: Sorry, wussies don’t get any.

(Maze and Trixie bump fists)

(Chloe talks to Chet’s brother in the squad room)

Chloe: So, I ran the prints, and it came back as your brother Chet… I’m sorry. I know that you’ve been living in Mexico, but can you think of anyone who may have wanted your brother dead?

Hector: My family had many enemies. It’s why I left, to get away from the Ruiz empire. I tried to get Chet to go with me, but…

Chloe: But, unfortunately, he got involved in the family business.

Hector: I know you were the one who put my mother in prison. I also know you were after Chet, so I know what you think of my family… But I loved my brother… He didn’t deserve to die. Especially not like that.

Chloe: No one deserves to die like that. Look, I’m gonna work this case as carefully and fairly as I would any other case. I promise you.

(Ella is working on something with her back to Lucifer, who purposefully breaks an evidence mold.)

Lucifer: Ah, oopsie daisy. There goes that clue. Klutzy me.

Ella: Aw, don’t worry, buddy. I am a total klutz myself. Which is why I always make a backup.

Lucifer: Oh, good.Hope it leads us straight to Chet’s k*ller.

Ella: Oh, no, that’s from another crime scene. I got a big steaming pile of nada from the Chet Ruiz crime scene.

Lucifer: Oh, good… Ness me, that is awful.

Chloe: Please tell me you have something.

Lucifer: No, no, nothing. It’s so frustrating.

Ella: Well, there is one thing I’m waiting on.

Lucifer: But I thought you just said we had nada.

Ella: Well, so the only thing we know for sure is that someone had to drive there to dump the body. So, the tech team is checking the vicinity for cameras, but it’s such a remote place, so don’t get your hopes up.

Lucifer: Ooh, yes. I think you’re right, Miss Lopez. Sadly, the only witness to this one is my dear old dad.

Ella: Oh, right. Yes, your dad… Is always watching. Wait a second. That gives me an idea.

Lucifer: It does?

Ella: Satellite imaging takes sporadic photos of, well, everything, so…

Chloe: So there may be footage of the k*ller going to or from the warehouse.

Ella: Exactly. I mean, it’s a long shot, but thank you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: You’re so welcome.

(Amenadiel is onstage talking.)

Amenadiel: It’s me. God chose me. I’m the favorite son. This whole time, I actually thought that God had lost faith in me, but it was me. I lost faith in him. I can see that now… That losing my powers must have been a test… And if so, I failed…I’m so sorry, Father.

Partner: Yes, and how was your pork chop?

Dan: Okay, that’s great. We’ll cut right there. Hey, can I have the lights, please? So, uh, good job. But there are a few subjects that we try to avoid… You know, religion, politics, anything too polarizing. Okay?

Amenadiel: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Totally understand. I got this.

Dan: Perfect. All right, let’s give ’em another scenario.

Woman: Oh, uh, zookeepers and the giraffe is pregnant.

Dan: (chuckles) Okay. You guys ready? Action.

Partner: (raises both arms high in the air) Oh, man! I think she’s going into labor! Help me!

Amenadiel: (angrily yells) How can I help when I’m supposed to k*ll my own father?!

Dan: And cut… (pulls Amenadiel aside and puts his hand on his shoulder) It’s a little dark, buddy.

Amenadiel: Hmm.

Dan: You know, just try to have fun with it.

Amenadiel: But I thought you told me this helped you work through difficult personal matters.

Dan: I did.

(Chloe and Lucifer exit her car and walk through a parking lot to where a van is parked. Lucifer continues to try to get Chloe to stop investigating Chet’s case.)

Chloe: APB got a hit that it was parked in the lot across the street.

Lucifer: I’m telling you, we’re wasting time.

Chloe: It was the only vehicle parked near the crime scene between midnight and 5:00 a.m.

Lucifer: Yes, but how do you know this parked van’s even the same one? I mean, there’s no license plates on this image.

Chloe: Oh, come on! How many vans have dandelions on the side?

Lucifer: They’re not dandelions, they’re jellyfish.

Chloe: What? Jellyfish?

Lucifer: Right, yes. Well, I’m simply saying that we should be focusing on more pressing criminal issues.

Chloe: Such as?

Lucifer: Well, I’m glad you asked, actually. The death of Celeste McDougall. Very suspicious, indeed.

Chloe: She was 92.

Lucifer: Yes, and fit as a fiddle. I mean, look at that smug face. Look.

Chloe: I know. Yeah, I got it, I got it. (Just then, they see two people dressed in white hazmat suits carrying a stretcher with a dead body on it wrapped in plastic. Chloe draws her g*n.) … LAPD! Don’t move! You still think we’re wasting our time?

Lucifer: Definitely rethinking the lasagna I had for lunch.

Ava: Oh, my gosh. This is not what it looks like.

Lucifer: What? Minions day out?

Chloe: Take your hoods off, slowly.

Ava: I know this looks bad, but we can explain. I’m Ava. This is my sister Kathleen.

Kathleen: Hi. How ya doin’?

Lucifer: Friendliest serial K*llers ever.

Kathleen: Oh, that’s hilarious. We’re not K*llers. God, no. We run Dandy Lyon Cleaners. Lyon’s our last name. Get it?

Ava: We take care of crime scenes, dead body removals. All the icky stuff.

Kathleen: But totally legit. Yeah, like this poor guy died of a heart attack.

Ava: Like, two weeks ago.

Lucifer: Right, well, perfectly good explanation. I knew it. Shall we, Detective?

Chloe: Wait, wait, wait. Why was your van outside of an abandoned warehouse in Eagle Rock at 3:00 a.m. last night?

Ava: I’m… Pretty sure you’re mistaken. We were nowhere near that area.

Kathleen: Well…

Ava: Ugh, no. Eagle Rock. Do not tell me you went to see Fred again. I thought you were done with that jerk.

Kathleen: I was, till I ran into him at Jamba Juice.

Lucifer: Understand completely. I mean, what’s more intoxicating than a Mango-A-Go-Go? Alibi sorted. We’ll leave you here with Soupy, and we’ll be on our way. Come on.

Chloe: No. Wait, wait. (takes Lucifer aside) Hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?

Lucifer: Yes?

Chloe: Enough with this. Why are you trying to rush our investigation? Why are you still hiding things from me after all we’ve been through?

Lucifer: You know I don’t lie, Detective.

Chloe: But you also don’t tell the whole truth… Does this have to do with what you were upset about this morning, with your family?

Lucifer: Yes, but I can’t explain, because you wouldn’t understand.

Chloe: Not if you don’t talk to me… Never mind. I thought we were past this. Going backwards, Lucifer, is not good. For anyone.

(At the end of the class, Daniel encourages Amenadiel.)

Dan: Trust me, dude, you’re gonna find this really freeing once you get the hang of it. And I’ll help you through it. Just takes practice.

Amenadiel: You’re a good man, Daniel.

Dan: (smiles, shrugs, seems embarrassed) Yeah.

(Amenadiel hugs Daniel.)

Dan: Ooh! Okay. All right. Wow. (Gently pushes Amenadiel away.) You’re strong… (smiles, turns and walks away talking to himself) That family is so weird.

(Dan leaves Amenadiel alone in the theater; Maze enters.)

Maze: “You’ll get the hang of it. It just takes practice.” And that hug. You guys doing it?

Amenadiel: So, what are you even doing here?

Maze: I’m bounty hunting you, thanks to Lucifer. Time to assemble the sword, Amenadiel.

Amenadiel: I don’t know that I want to, Maze. Father entrusted me with the final piece. That changes things.

Maze: Are you coming with me or not?

Amenadiel: Think about it, Mazikeen. All of my actions, all of my feelings, they were all just based on lies. You see, I thought I had fallen, and I…

(Maze tazes Amenadiel, who freezes and falls forward onto the floor.)

Maze: I don’t get paid by the hour. (She grabs one of his legs and drags him away)

(Chloe is doing research on her computer. Ella arrives.)

Ella: Oh, my God! Are you going to Paris? Can I be your travel buddy? I love Paris. Les hommes, oh, très sexy, romantiques, avec…

Chloe: This is the Paris hotel in Vegas, actually.

Ella: Oh. Not… Going there. Vegas and me… Not pretty.

Chloe: Yeah, I’m not going, either. But Kathleen Lyon’s ex Brad did, and according to his Wobble page, he’s been partying there all weekend.

Ella: Oh, well, that blows up Kathleen’s reason for being in Eagle Rock at 3:00 a.m. You think our two sweet, “legit” cleaners are up to something not so legit?

(Amenadiel is waking up, face down on a couch at the penthouse.)

Lucifer: Hello, Brother. I notice you’ve changed your look. Where’s your pretty necklace?

Amenadiel: Oh, I’ve put it in a safe place.

Lucifer: Ah. Keister it, did you?

Maze: Nope. Already checked. Not there.

Lucifer: Lovely. Listen, Amenadiel, I need the final piece.

Amenadiel: Right. So you and Mom can slice through the Gates of Heaven and destroy Father. Yeah. I know.

Lucifer: Right. Maze, darling, would you mind running down to the wine cellar and fetching Mum? I think she’d like to hear this.

Amenadiel: I’ve been thinking about this, deeply. And I think that we’ve been looking at things the wrong way.

Lucifer: Oh?

Amenadiel: That necklace was a gift. It’s not some manipulation.

Lucifer: Well, you only think that because it was gifted to you.

Amenadiel: No, no, Luci! It’s all about perspective. Father doesn’t always make things clear, because he wants us to form our own beliefs. And I strongly believe that I am to guard that piece. Now, I may have lost my way, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t rectify things now.

Lucifer: Fine. What if I was to tell you I never planned on destroying Dad?

Amenadiel: I’d say you were full of it.

Lucifer: Yes, I want to assemble the sword, yes, I want to cut through the gates, blah, blah, but then I was just gonna kick Mum into Heaven and slam the gates behind her. Let the two lovebirds t*rture each other for eternity.

Amenadiel: And that’s better?

Lucifer: Yes.

Amenadiel: No! Regardless of whether you’re with Mom or not, I simply can’t let Mom loose on Dad. Now, it is finally time that I go back to being the loyal soldier that he entrusted me to be. Mom is not going anywhere!

Lucifer: Well, I am afraid that we do not have a choice, Brother! Mum’s powers are returning, and it won’t be long before we can’t contain them. I mean, she’s already k*lled one person, and now the detective is on a… The Detective is on her case. So, please, no discussion. Mum has to go!

Maze: She already has. Your mother’s gone.

Lucifer: What?

(Dr. Linda opens the door of her practice to find The Goddess holding a bottle of wine.)

Goddess: (hands the bottle to Dr. Linda as she walks into the room) It’s Cheval something or other. It’s valuable, so it must be good.

Dr. Linda: I wasn’t expecting to see you or your… Deadly light back so soon.

Goddess: Well, something’s been bothering me. When you first saw my wound… You asked if Lucifer had done it… What did you mean by that?

Dr. Linda: I meant nothing by it. You know? Meaningless brain fart, you know? Just blah. Came out. There was a lot going on that day.

Goddess: Hmm. I don’t think so. I think, in fact, that you know something. (takes Dr. Linda by the shoulders) I don’t want to hurt you, Linda. I… Am running… Out of time. You’ve seen what’s happening to me. So you can either tell me what you know over a glass of wine or over your own charbroiled corpse. Your choice.

(Chloe and Daniel are at the new crime scene.)

Chloe: I came here to grill Kathleen on the false alibi.

(Dan sees a body slumped over a desk with their head charbroiled like Chet’s)

Dan: Whoa. Somebody already had, huh?

Chloe: Yeah. It’s Ava Lyon. I’m thinking whoever k*lled Chet hired the Lyon sisters to clean up, then cleaned up the cleaner.

Kathleen: (pushing her way past an officer and into the office) Excuse me, what is going on? I work here… Ava!!

Chloe: Stop. (Chloe grabs Kathleen and stops her from approaching the body.)

Kathleen: Oh, my God. What did I do?

(Chloe is interviewing Kathleen at the station.)

Kathleen: It’s me, only me. Ava knew nothing about it. I wasn’t lying about Brad. I did get back together with him, but he gambles a lot, and he needed money. Then I got this call offering me a hundred grand.

Chloe: Who hired you? Who k*lled Chet and your sister?

Kathleen: Maybe Ava’s death was a warning. For me to keep my mouth shut. Maybe if I don’t say anything…

(Amenadiel and Lucifer are alone at Lux. Lucifer is drinking at the bar as Amenadiel paces.)

Amenadiel: So how do we find Mom? Follow the trail of roasted humans?

Lucifer: Well, if anyone can find that wily goddess, it’s Maze. She’s on it.

(Lucifer’s phone rings. It’s Chloe. She’s at the station.)

Lucifer: Detective. Everything all right?

Chloe: We found a body.

Lucifer: Another body?

Chloe: A burned head.

Lucifer: Same burned head?

Chloe: Yes.

Lucifer: So, what, you think whoever k*lled Chet k*lled again?

Chloe: Look, Lucifer, it’s a long story, but the second victim is Ava Lyon. She’s one of the cleaners we met. I have her sister Kathleen here, but she’s not saying anything… She’s scared. So I need you to come here, and I need you to do your mojo thing.

Lucifer: Yes, Detective, believe me when I say I want to find the k*ller as much as you do.

(The Goddess walks into LUX)

Goddess: Hello, boys.

Lucifer: Mum.

Chloe: What? What? What’s going on?

Lucifer: I-I’m so sorry. My mum’s here. I-I’ve got to rush. Good luck with Kathleen. Ciao. (he ends the call)

(Back at police station, Chloe and Ella talk)

Chloe: Damn it.

Ella: What’s wrong?

Chloe: Lucifer. He’s… He’s hiding something from me, I can tell.

Ella: Oh, you know what? It’s probably just embarrassing family stuff. I mean, they seem totally bonkers.

Chloe: Yeah. Maybe. He is with his step-mom now, so… So maybe… (she picks up a tablet and starts scrolling) Maybe he’s not hiding something from me, but someone… Someone who knew Chet. And someone I still don’t trust. (we see she has landed on a photo of Charlotte Richards.)

(The Goddess is drinking alcohol. She’s acting a bit smug.)

Amenadiel: What have you been doing?

Goddess: Oh… This and that.

Lucifer: This being firing up the celestial barbecue so that you can grill another head?

Goddess: No. I just needed to get cleaned up. Get some air. I was feeling a little claustrophobic. Don’t you just hate being kept in the dark? The good news is you found Amenadiel. So we have the piece?

Lucifer: Yes. Well, interesting story, actually. Why don’t you tell her, Brother?

Amenadiel: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This one’s all you. Brother, I insist.

Lucifer: Thank you. Right. Well, uh, upon careful consideration, we’ve decided this whole Flaming Sword plan is a crap idea.

Amenadiel: Yes, crap.

Lucifer: Mm. Have you ever considered finding, well, I don’t know, a-a place of your own?

Amenadiel: Yeah. Somewhere away from Dad, maybe?

Lucifer: Yes. Somewhere familiar, warmer, perhaps?

Goddess: You want… You want me back in Hell?

Lucifer: Well, not in Hell, per se, but in charge of Hell. I mean, after all, it is a kingdom without a ruler.

Amenadiel: He is right. I mean, there’s a great opportunity for upward mobility.

Lucifer: Lick of paint here or there. The columns would look great in white… Beige?

Goddess: So it’s true. You are working against me. You never planned on going with me to Heaven.

Lucifer: Wait. How did you find out?

Goddess: Well, I persuaded… Your little doctor. I’m sorry. I had no choice.

Lucifer: What did you do? Mum.

Amenadiel: Mom. Listen, I understand. You’re angry.

Goddess: Oh, I’m not angry. Just disappointed…

(She grabs each man in one of her hands and with one shove, throws them across the room.)

Goddess: (she walks up to Amenadiel with her hand out) Give me the piece!

Amenadiel: No, Mom… You’re gonna have to k*ll me.

Goddess: Guess I’ll have to find another way, won’t I?

(The Goddess leaves. Lucifer and Amenadiel try to get up off the piano, now in pieces on the floor.)

Lucifer: Well, now look what you’ve made her do. I’ve just had this tuned!

Amenadiel: Me? How about you suggesting Hell as a retirement home? Nice. Maybe if you had just mentioned the pottery class or water aerobics, she would have gone for it.

Lucifer: Oh, and did you have a better idea?

Amenadiel: Mom’s coming undone, Luci… In every way.

Lucifer: I know. And she doesn’t care who she hurts anymore… Linda.

Amenadiel: I’ll go check on Linda. You go after Mom; she’ll listen to you. But, Luci, don’t you dare promise her that piece, because I won’t give it to her.

(Chloe and Daniel find The Goddess standing by the carousel.)

Goddess: Well, well. Someone’s clever. How did you get me?

Dan: Wasn’t that hard. We tracked your phone.

Goddess: No, I mean, how did you figure out I was the bad guy? Did Little Miss Dandy Lyon tell you?

Chloe: It’s over, Charlotte. Put your hands up.

Goddess: Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to resist. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. I just have one small request.

(Lucifer is walking past parked cars when his phone rings.)

Lucifer: Detective. Any chance you’ve seen my Mu…

Goddess: Looking for little ol’ me? You were right, dear. Your detective is quite good. She caught me.

Lucifer: Where are you?

(Instead of Chloe, it’s The Goddess on the phone. We see that Chloe is patting down The Goddess while she talks to Lucifer)

Goddess: Santa Monica Pier. Such a beautiful place. So many people.

Lucifer: If you hurt anyone, Mum, if you hurt her…

Goddess: And if you and your brother had just given me what I needed. But who knows? Maybe you still can.

Chloe: Okay, that’s enough.

Lucifer: Mum!

Chloe: Start talking.

Goddess: Just the two of us. If that’s all right. I’d rather not put Daniel in… an awkward position. Hate to ruin all the good ones we’ve been in… Can we go outside?

Chloe: Mm-hmm. I’ll be fine.

(The Goddess passionately kisses Dan.)

Goddess: I’ll miss you, Daniel. You are my favorite human.

(Amenadiel answers his phone.)

Amenadiel: Hey. You find Mom?

Lucifer: She’s on Santa Monica Pier, and she wants the piece… We have to give it to her, Amenadiel. We’ve run out of options. Please. Brother, please. She… She has Chloe.

(Maze is on her way to Dr, Linda’s practice.)

Maze: Linda! You here?! I’m tracking Lucifer’s mom, and I think she might be on her way.

(Maze sees blood on the door handle, kicks down the door to find Dr. Linda is hurt.)

Maze: Oh, no. No, no, no! Linda. Hey. It’s okay. I’m here. Okay? You’re gonna be fine… She did this to you, didn’t she?

Dr. Linda: She wanted to know what Lucifer’s plans were. I didn’t want to tell her. I tried to resist. I’m so sorry.

Maze: It’s not your fault, okay? And you’re going to be fine. I promise. I’m-I’m gonna fix you. Okay?

(Amenadiel enters.)

Maze: (distraught, she says to Amenadiel) Help me.

(Lucifer joins Dan at the carousel. Lucifer has the Flaming Sword.)

Lucifer: Hello, Daniel.

Dan: Whoa! Whoa, whoa! She kissed me.

Lucifer: Literally no idea what you’re talking about. Just get your hands up. No, don’t be silly. I’m not gonna stab you. I’m just looking for something. Come on, up. Up!

Dan: What are you looking for? Uh…

(Lucifer moves the sword across Dan when suddenly Dan’s pocket moves)

Lucifer: Hello.

Dan: Whoa. What the…? (Lucifer puts his hand in Dan’s pants pocket to retrieve the key) Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Lucifer: Ah. Ah-ah-ah. It’s my brother’s. He left it there for safekeeping, so thanks for that. (Lucifer taps him with the sword and says as he dashes off) You’re a lifesaver.

(Chloe and The Goddess are talking.)

Chloe: Okay, Charlotte, this has been a great chat, but are you gonna confess or what?

Goddess: I’ll never understand why you concern yourselves with one little human, but… Fine. Yes, I was involved in Chet’s death, but not in the way you think.

Chloe: Well, correct me if I’m wrong. You k*lled him. You hired a cleaner to take care of the body. And then you k*lled the cleaner. Is that it?

Goddess: The cleaner’s dead? What? Oh, that’s unfortunate. I certainly had nothing to do with that.

Chloe: But if you didn’t, then who did?

(Lucifer arrives. He holds up the Flaming Sword for The Goddess to see)

Lucifer: Mom! I’ve got it. Now let the Detective go.

Chloe: Lucifer, put down the knife. You can’t protect your mother anymore.

Lucifer: I’m not protecting her. It’s you I’m trying to save. Now, here it is, Mum. I have the blade and the final piece. You let the Detective go, and they are yours.

Chloe: Let me go? Really? I’m the one holding her.

Lucifer: Mum?

(From behind them we hear a voice.)

Hector: (pointing a gun at them) No one’s going anywhere!

Goddess: Oh, I think we found our mystery k*ller.

Hector: How can you be so glib?! You were our lawyer! You betrayed us!

Chloe: Put the g*n down, Hector.

Hector: Thank you for leading me to her, Detective. You promised to approach this fairly, and you did. But now I have to make things right for my family.

Lucifer: Ah! A little wrinkle. You sh**t her, and we’re all dead, okay?

(Maze is trying to help Dr. Linda.)

Dr. Linda: I need a hospital.

Maze: Yes. Okay.

Amenadiel: It’s too far, Maze. She won’t make it.

Maze: We need to do something. We need more time. We just need more time.

(Amenadiel closes his eyes and is somehow able to use his power to stop time.)

Maze: What are you doing?

(Lucifer is trying to stop Hector.)

Lucifer: Look, it’s very difficult to explain, but believe me when I say that there are many, many lives at stake here. So, please, just put the g*n down, huh?

(Hector momentarily seems convinced and starts to lower his g*n when he sees Dan drawing his g*n. Hector fires.)

Lucifer: No!

(Time slows to almost a stop. The Goddess and Lucifer can move, but everyone else is in very slow motion.)

Lucifer: Amenadiel. You son of a b*tch.

(Maze is shocked as time slows and so does Dr. Linda’s bleeding.)

Maze: How?

Amenadiel: (trembling with exertion) Go.

(Maze picks up Dr. Linda to rush her to a hospital)

(Lucifer grabs The Goddess, and they both fall off over the railing on the side of the pier. Lucifer reunites the three pieces and makes the Flaming Sword whole.)

Lucifer: I’m sorry, Mum. But I’m afraid that this ends now… You’ve hurt so many people, Mum. It has to stop.

Goddess: You know that everything I’ve done, I’ve done for, for us, for our family.

Lucifer: You used me. Used Chloe.

Goddess: Me? What about your father? He created Chloe just to manipulate you… Lucifer, look. We have the sword. Finally, finally, we can get revenge. We can destroy him. We can take our home back.

Lucifer: I’m not leaving, Mum!

Goddess: Okay. I can take care of it for both of us. Just give me the sword, and I’ll do the rest. Please, son. I just… I just want a chance to start over.

Lucifer: But… Going home? That’s not starting over, that’s… That’s going backward. And that’s not good for anyone… So it’s time for you to move forward, Mum… Even if it means I’ll never see you again.

Goddess: Lucifer. No!

(Lucifer cuts the world.)

Lucifer: Bloody hell, it worked. I guess it can cut through anything, even the world itself.

Goddess: What is that?

Lucifer: It’s-it’s nothing… At least, for now. This is the real way to move forward, Mum. To create a whole new world, your own world, without Father.

Goddess: But what about you? Amenadiel? My children?

Lucifer: You know that if we go back to Heaven, then there will be a w*r. And in w*r, there are always casualties.

Goddess: The last thing I want is to hurt my children.

Lucifer: I know. So, please, let there be light.

Goddess: My angel. I will miss you… So much.

(The Goddess leaves. Charlotte Richards falls on the sand. Lucifer pulls the key and splits the Flaming Sword, extinguishing it. He then throws it into the split universe as it closes, but he keeps Amenadiel’s necklace. The time starts over. There are g*nshots. Hector is dead. Maze gets Linda to the ER. On the beach, Daniel runs to see how Charlotte is.)

Dan: Hey.

Lucifer: I’m sorry, Daniel. She didn’t… Die.

(Charlotte Richards wakes up.)

Lucifer: Mum?

Charlotte Richards: “Mom”? My kids are… Ten.

Lucifer: Right, of course. Charlotte.

Charlotte Richards: What’s… What’s going on? Uh, why am I at the beach?

Dan: You fell off the pier.

Charlotte Richards: I fell off the…?

Dan: It’s-it’s okay. I got you.

Charlotte Richards: Who are you?

(The paramedic takes Charlotte Richards to the hospital.)

Lucifer: So what do you think will happen to Charlotte?

Chloe: Well, given her law firm’s track record, probably not much. You know, the more I think about it, the more I think that Hector k*lled both victims.

Lucifer: What, you think he k*lled his own brother?

Chloe: I think you would be the first to agree. You know, things between families can get pretty heated.

Lucifer: Yes. Heated.

Chloe: Oh, and Ella found a Mondo blowtorch in Hector’s car, so there’s that.

Lucifer: Right.

Chloe: The only thing I still don’t understand is you seemed to have some inkling of this from the very beginning, so… Why didn’t you let me in on it?

Lucifer: Well, you…

Chloe: ‘Cause at this point, you either trust me or you don’t.

Lucifer: Detective, I trust you…

Chloe: Look, if you think that I wouldn’t forgive you for your mistakes or your flaws, if you think that I don’t know who you really are by now, you’re wrong.

(Lucifer visits Dr. Linda at the hospital.)

Lucifer: Linda, look at you.

Dr. Linda: Lucifer. I’m okay.

Lucifer: This is my fault. I-I should never have got you involved in any of this from the start.

Dr. Linda: It’s not like I didn’t know I was dealing with the most powerful, well… The most dysfunctional family in the universe… Lucifer… I walked into this with my eyes wide open, chose to be your friend and face all that comes with that. The good, the bad and the crispy… What?

Lucifer: I just realized something that I need to do. But… Let’s focus on you, shall we? That’s enough about me.

(Lucifer phones Chloe and leaves a voicemail.)

Lucifer: Detective. Hello, it’s me. Lucifer. Um, I just wanted to apologize for being, well, for being so elusive. But I also wanted to say that I am done hiding. So I’m coming over now to tell you the truth about me. ‘Cause I think it’s time I finally opened your eyes as to why strange things sometimes happen around me. Why my brother’s so saintly and Maze is so… Not. And I’m so… Well, magnetic. No, but s-seriously, I… I want to tell you everything… No more going backward.

(Someone knocks out Lucifer. He wakes up in the desert. His wings are back on his shoulders.)