S2 Ep12: Love Handles

(moaning. Lucifer and Chloe come out of the elevator excitedly kissing.)

(Lucifer laughing)

(laughs) Oh, Detective. (He picks Chloe up and takes her to the sofa where she straddles him.)

(Lucifer laughs)

Lucifer: Detective, are you sure you want to do this?

Chloe: Shut up. (She kisses him, again.)

(Chloe looks up to realize Lucifer has horns coming out of her head and she is holding on to them.)

Lucifer: I see you’ve found my love handles.

(moaning)

(Chloe wakes from her dream and hears crunching and chewing. She sees Maze sitting in a side chair watching as if she is at the movies eating snacks.)

Maze: How was it?

Chloe: What are you doing in here?

Maze: What? I heard you scream, so I ran in to see if you were in danger. Then I figured out what was really going on, you know, so I stayed to watch the show. Hey. What was that… That thing you were doing? You were like… (She mimics Chloe holding onto Lucifer’s horns though she doesn’t know that’s what was happening.)

Chloe: Okay, Maze, get out. Now.

Maze: All right, at least you’re getting laid in your dreams. ‘Cause it’s not happening in real life.

Chloe: You don’t know that.

Maze: I just wish you’d loosen up, Decker. You know, throw caution to the wind, be impulsive, just once. Instead of, you know, being you.

(door opens) (door closes)

Chloe: (speaking to herself) Maybe this time will be different.

Lucifer: This time will definitely be different, Doctor. I’ve decided to take things slow, for once.

Dr. Linda: Hmm, and why is that?

Lucifer: Because I’m a responsible Devil. And I… well, I know what a big deal the kiss was… for the detective.

Dr. Linda: For her?

Lucifer: Well, I’m sure it must have made quite an impact on her. I mean, it, it is me. No doubt she’s overwhelmed by emotions she’s never felt before.

Dr. Linda: She’s overwhelmed?

Lucifer: Mm.

Dr. Linda: Uh-huh. Is that why you went your separate ways after the kiss?

Lucifer: Precisely. Yes, although she did have that wretched dependent waiting for her at home. Well, two, if you count the child.

Dr. Linda: I think I know what’s happening.

Lucifer: Y-You do?

Dr. Linda: You’re stalling, Lucifer.

Lucifer: (laughing) Stalling?Sex? Me? Doctor, have we even met before?

Dr. Linda: You’re stalling because you’ve realized how complicated your relationship is.

Lucifer: Look… (sighs) the, um, the truth is that… I still don’t understand why, after everything I said about my less positive qualities, she still chose to kiss me. I mean, do you think she’s ill?

Dr. Linda: Or maybe… she’s just taken by you?

Lucifer: Well, that’s impossible. The detective is completely immune to my charms. Or she was immune. (coming to a realization) Maybe that’s what’s changed. Of course, I mean, why else would she kiss me?

Dr. Linda: But there’s also the possibility…

Lucifer: No, no, no. No. That’s very good. Thank you, Doctor. I know what to do now.

(door opens)

(Lucifer and Chloe meet on a college campus as they walk towards a crime scene.)

Lucifer: Morning.

Chloe: Hey. So, how was the rest of your night?

Lucifer: It was fine, thank you. How was the rest of your night?

Chloe: Uh, fine, thank you.

Lucifer: Excellent. So we’re all fine, then. But before we deal with whatever atrocity awaits, there’s something important I need to ask you, Detective. It’s… well, it’s about us.

Chloe: Okay.

(Lucifer leans towards Chloe to use his desire power on her.)

Lucifer: So what is it you truly desire now?

(Chloe momentarily looks like she might be succumbing.)

Chloe: Lucifer, what the hell are you doing? You know that stuff doesn’t work on me.

Lucifer: Right. Yes, no, of course. I was, uh, joking. (chuckles)

Chloe: Right. (laughs and smacks him on the butt, catching him off-guard.) I was just trying to… Maze said this morning, you know, throw caution to the… Never mind, it… That was weird. Yeah. We… let’s go.

Lucifer: Right. (Confused, he follows her.)

Lucifer: Right, what have we got?

Ella: Meet Rick Cormier. 19-years-old. Malibu State freshman. Friends thought he was just hungover after the big win against the Pasadena Gray Hawks. Turns out, he be dead. Of poisoning.

Lucifer: Ooh.

Chloe: Like alcohol poisoning?

Ella: No, like poison poisoning. Check it out: petechial hemorrhaging, ribboned skin, ocular discharge.

Lucifer: (chuckles) Sorry, she said “discharge,” it gets me every time.

(Chloe laughs way too hard at this. Then looks embarrassed and gets serious.)

Chloe: Any idea of how long it took the poison to activate?

Ella: Well, it’s hard to say for sure, but best guess, maybe 24 hours?

Lucifer: I hope poor Ricky made ’em count. Enjoying what little life he had left with sex or friends.

Chloe: (trying to make a joke) Or sex with friends. (she winks at Lucifer) I just figured that’s where you were going with that.

(Lucifer is definitely confused.)

Ella: Yeah, well, I mean, I don’t know how down he was to party, but, you guys, I’ve seen a lot of messed up stuff. This toxin tore through his body like it was burning him from the inside out. I mean, I’m gonna have to reach out to my forensic contacts just to see if anyone knows anything.

Chloe: Who found the body?

(Chloe and Lucifer talk to the victim’s roommate, Timmy, as the body is being wheeled out of the building.)

Timmy: I thought he was just sleeping it off for once. I didn’t realize he was freakin’ dead.

Chloe: Do you know anyone who may have had a problem with him?

Timmy: No way. We all loved Ricky.

Chloe: Did you notice anything strange in the last few days? Any unusual behavior?

Timmy: Like what?

Lucifer: Like someone carrying a small apothecary bottle marked with a skull and crossbones, perhaps?

Timmy: No, nothing like that. But Johnny Kane came by the dorm yesterday.

Chloe: Mm.

Lucifer: What, Johnny Kane Johnny Kane? As in the actor Johnny Kane?

Timmy: Yeah. My mom went pretty nuts when I told her. He even signed one of my DVDs.

Lucifer: No. (Roommate gets the DVD and hands it to Lucifer.) Huh. Oh. To Love Is to Die. (chuckles) Impressive work. I mean, to be a man playing a woman playing a man. It’s absolutely dizzying. What, should I have said “spoiler”?

Timmy: Apparently he was here researching a role.

Lucifer: Hmm, committed.

Chloe: He’s, like, 40 years old; there’s no way he could pull off playing a college student.

Lucifer: Um, surely you misspoke, Detective. I mean, Johnny Kane’s a spry and handsome young man, wouldn’t you say?

Chloe: No, he’s quite old. And since when did you become the president of his fan club?

Lucifer: Since he just walked in here wielding a large knife.

Johnny: Am I too late? Is he dead? Is he dead?

Chloe: (draws and points her g*n at him.) Freeze. Drop the knife.

Johnny: It’s my fault. He’s dead because of me.

Chloe: Put down the knife, Johnny.

Lucifer: Yes, listen to her, Johnny. She’s quite a good shot.

Johnny: You don’t understand! I couldn’t do what the man said.

Chloe: What man?

Johnny: The man said he would k*ll that kid if I didn’t cut my face.

(Johnny, Lucifer, and Chloe watch a video of the perpetrator. )

Dr. Carlisle: Mr. Johnny Kane, you’re an amazing actor with an impressive library of films under your belt. Beloved by critics and the public alike. Many would say you’re at the top of your profession right now. Which is why it’ll be so interesting to see what decision you make for this experiment. You can either… carve up your own face, or… Rick Cormier, an innocent freshman at Malibu State, will die of poisoning. You have 24 hours to decide. Do what’s asked and an antidote will be delivered. The choice is yours alone.

Lucifer: Well, that’s dramatic.

Chloe: When did you get this video?

Johnny: Yesterday. At first, I thought it was some sick joke. Fans send bizarre letters to my manager all the time, but this was sent directly to my personal e-mail, and it was so… disturbing. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I had to check it out.

Chloe: So you went to the school.

Johnny: Yeah, when I realized that this kid was a real student at Malibu, I… I started thinking that this “experiment” might be real, too. I went home, and I stared at that knife for hours. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t cut up my face.

Lucifer: Well, of course you couldn’t. That’s an impossible choice. This k*ller is clearly playing God. I mean, no one would do something like that unless they’re being manipulated. (sighs. Looks intently at Chloe.) Not unlike someone showing affection when it made no logical sense.

Chloe: (softly) What?

Johnny: I mean, what kind of sick b*stard would do such a thing?

Lucifer: That’s exactly what I’d like to know. (stands to leave room.) Excuse me.

(door opens)

Chloe: Where are you going?

(door closes)

Chloe: (turns back to address Johnny) Okay, look, we are doing everything we can to trace that e-mail, but in the meantime, did you have any connection to the poisoned student? Or any idea why he was targeted?

Johnny: No, until yesterday I’d never met him before in my life.

(Lucifer calls The Goddess on his cell phone. We hear the line ringing through his phone at the same time a phone rings nearby. Lucifer sees The Goddess across the room talking to a man. She looks at her ringing phone and sends it to VM to keep talking to the man.)

Lucifer: Like that, is it? (he walks up to The Goddess and pushes the man away.) Excuse us, thank you. (he then addresses The Goddess) Fess up. What did you do to her?

Goddess: I’m afraid you’re gonna have to be more specific. I’ve done a lot of things to a lot of people by now.

Lucifer: (chuckles) Don’t play silly buggers with me, Mum. The detective kissed me, and I need to know why.

Goddess: Did you say you kissed?

Lucifer: Please spare me the appearance of surprise and just tell me how you did it.

Goddess: Well, I wish I had that kind of power, but, sadly, I can’t take credit. Why are you so upset? I assumed you’d be pleased by such a development.

Lucifer: Well, I… I’m upset because I just don’t know if it’s… real.

Goddess: All I can say is, follow your heart, son. These things have a way of working themselves out in time.

Lucifer: Really?

(Dan walks up behind Lucifer, who is blocking Dan’s view of The Goddess.)

Dan: Hey.

Goddess: Detective.

Dan: Counselor.

Lucifer: d*uche.

Dan: d*ck.

Goddess: Well, I suppose that’s my cue. Remember what I said, Lucifer. Bye-bye, Daniel.

(The Goddess leaves. Dan turns and talks to Lucifer.)

Dan: I just came by to tell you that Chloe’s looking for you. Cyber got a hit off that e-mail trace.

Lucifer: Great.

Dan: Great.

(Lucifer looks sternly at Dan. Dan does know what to do, so he turns and walks away.)

Chloe: We traced the e-mail to a grad student named Matthew Hoffing. He works here part-time.

Lucifer: Libraries. Dreary places, aren’t they? They smell like feet.

(Chloe sees two students making out among the stacks.)

Chloe: I don’t know. I think they can, uh, be kind of romantic. Have you ever, you know, made out in a library?

Lucifer: What… Detective, what has gotten into you today? This is usually when you tell me to focus on the work. And yes, of course I’ve made out in a library.

Chloe: (embarrassed) Right. Yeah, I was-I was… I’ve been trying to kind of… You know what? Never mind. (laughs) It’s definitely not getting the reaction I was expecting.

Lucifer: Right.

Chloe: So, just… no. You know what? No. Since when have you’ve been one to avoid sex?

(Suddenly, they hear a woman screaming in another room. They open a door and go through to find a young man sitting at a computer, surrounded by stacks of books.)

(Woman moaning on computer. Young man has his hands in his lap.)

Chloe: What?

Lucifer: LAPD. Show us what’s in your hands.

Chloe: No, raise your hands above your head where we can see them.

Lucifer: Well, it might be a g*n, Detective. (Laughs)

Chloe: It’s not a g*n.

Woman on computer: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Chloe throws the young man a box of tissues.)

(Lucifer and Chloe are waiting when the young man comes out of the bathroom.)

T.A.: Just… I don’t know any kid…

Lucifer: (holding up a bottle of hand sanitizer) Ah, ah, ah. Better safe than sorry. (pumps some into the young man’s hand.)

T.A.: Right. Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know any kid named Rick.

Chloe: You are Dee-man69, yeah?

Lucifer: That’s a very clever play on words, by the way. Was “NeverGetsLaid number 1” taken?

T.A.: Yes, that’s my e-mail, but… I only ever use it for… you know…. porn.

Chloe: Care to explain why you sent Johnny Kane a threatening e-mail yesterday at 9:10 a.m.?

Lucifer: Busted, Mr. Hoffing. You may as well come clean now. Pun intended.

T.A.: First off, I’m kind of a fan of Johnny Kane. I think he’s super talented, but not enough to e-mail him. And secondly, I couldn’t have e-mailed him at that time even if I wanted to. I was T.A.ing a class.

Lucifer: Oh.

T.A.: Here, I can prove it.

(He picks up a tablet and uses it to show his email account on a computer scene.)

T.A.: Okay. There is an e-mail there.

Lucifer: Oh, wait for it.

T.A.: But it wasn’t me.

Lucifer: Do they ever get less predictable?

T.A.: No, I’m serious. It must’ve been hacked. I didn’t send that e-mail, and I didn’t send this one either.

Chloe: What other one?

T.A.: This one, sent an hour ago. It wasn’t me.

(He opens up the video email)

Dr. Carlisle: Dr. Gwendolyn Scott. You’re a world-renowned thoracic surgeon. Who’s saved an awe-inspiring number of lives. Which is why it’ll be so interesting to see what decision you make for this experiment. You can either destroy your hand or… Ashley Corbett, an innocent sophomore at Malibu State, will die of poisoning. You have 24 hours to decide. Do what’s asked, and an antidote will be delivered. The choice is yours alone.

Chloe: This isn’t just about Johnny Kane. We have to find Ashley Corbett now.

Chloe: Okay, Dan’s with Dr. Scott.

(Lucifer and Chloe walk up the stairs to the front porch.)

Chloe: All we have to do now is find Ashley Corbett. Look, once we get inside, let me handle this.

Lucifer: Okay, Detective, in order to do so, we need to… blend in.

Chloe: Meaning?

Lucifer: Meaning less hall monitor, more, sort of, hot for teacher. So, do you mind if I… (reaches out to touch her. She stops him.)

Chloe: Thank you.

Lucifer: (stepping back) Right.

Chloe: I got it.

Lucifer: Well, come on.

Chloe: You’re staring.

Lucifer: I… fine.

(scoffs and turns his back to her. Chloe lets down her hair and messes it up.)

Chloe: Okay. How do I look?

Lucifer: (turning around, he sees her and says:) Beautiful.

Lucifer: Um… but, um, one last thing. (Picks up a blue plastic cup and hands it to her.) Voilà. No college rager is complete without one. Right. Shall we?

(Lucifer opens the door and walks through first.)

(Crowds of college students are dancing, drinking, and talking with each other.)

Lucifer: These are the future leaders of America, Detective, engaging in sex, drugs, and lecherous behavior. (chuckles) Makes me proud.

Chloe: All right, well, don’t get too comfortable. Remember, we’re not here to party; we’re here to find Ashley. And she could be sick already, so let’s split up, and we’ll cover more ground that way.

Lucifer: Right. Find the girl, don’t have fun. Check. (Takes a quick drink from her cup then goes to another part of the house.) Mm.

Crowd: (laughing) Yeah.

(Chloe walks up to a young man and shows her a picture on her phone.)

Chloe: Excuse me, have you seen this girl?

Man: I think I saw her an hour ago. She’s, like, way hot.

Chloe: Yeah, great. Uh, do you know where she is? ‘Cause she might be in danger.

Man: (screams and holds up his drink) Danger of getting wasted! Whoo!

(laughs)

Lucifer: (yelling into crowd) Ashley Corbett? Anyone seen Ashley Corbett? Uh, Ashley Corbett? No… Oh, hello. Oh. Hi.

Young Woman: Hi.

(laughter)

Lucifer: Right, uh, yes, uh, you’re all very lovely. Very lovely. Dear, how do I turn this thing off? I’m looking for Ashley Corbett. Uh, can you tell me where she is?

Young Woman: We’ll tell you. But first you have to do something for us.

Lucifer: (nervous chuckle)

(Dan sits with Dr. Scott in her living room.)

Dan: We are almost through, Dr. Scott. I really appreciate you answering our questions.

Dr. Scott: Probably should’ve called you when I got the e-mail. I was afraid.

Dan: It’s okay, Doctor. We’re here now.

Dr. Scott: Can I ask you something, Detective? What would you do? If you were me, and it were your hand or an innocent girl’s life? What would you do?

Dan: I don’t know.

Dr. Scott: I’ve dedicated my life to saving people. Taken an oath to do no harm. H-How am I supposed to make that choice?

Dan: You don’t have to. They’ve drawn blood from the first victim, and they’re already working on an antidote.

Dr. Scott: That’s great if they find the girl. But what if they can’t?

Dan: They will find her. I promise you. Some of our best people are on it.

(Young woman is pouring beer down a funnel and hose into Lucifer’s mouth.)

Crowd: (chanting) Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! (cheering)

Lucifer: (belches) Right. Now, can you please tell me where Ashley is?

Young Woman: Mm. Come with me.

(Chloe physically runs into a young man.)

Young Man: Whoa! Hey… Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?

Chloe: I don’t think so.

Young Man: You got a boyfriend or something?

(Chloe now sees a young woman holding Lucifer’s hand and leading him up the stairs as he laughs)

Chloe: Definitely not. (She leaves in the direction of the stairs)

(laughter)

(Lucifer is lounging on the floor with a joint in his hand, surrounded by a group of young women.)

Lucifer: Now, I suppose what I’m saying is, you know, how do I know that it’s real?

Young Woman: It’s real if you’re two halves of a whole. If you’re stronger together than you are apart.

Lucifer: Right, right, but what does that actually mean?

(door opens and Chloe enters)

Chloe: Damn it, Lucifer, I was so stupid to think I could actually take a leap and trust you for once. I mean, a woman’s life is on the line, and here you are doing… Wait, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Well, I was actually working, Detective.

Young Woman: Oh, my God. Is this her?

Lucifer: Yes.

Young Woman: She’s so pretty.

Chloe: Oh. (chuckles)

Lucifer: Well, I-I mean I was working and maybe, sort of, you know, asking about you.

Chloe: About me?

Lucifer: Well, we had some time to k*ll whilst we’re waiting for Ashley. ‘Cause apparently she’s in that bathroom. Don’t know what’s taking her so long.

Chloe: Ashley Corbett. LAPD. Ashley.

(Chloe and Lucifer open the bathroom door to find Ashley standing in front of the mirror with her nose bleeding.)

Ashley: It just won’t stop.

(Dr. Linda is standing at the door with her hand on the knob, looking at The Goddess who has entered the room.)

Goddess: So, this is where the… healing happens. It’s cute.

Dr. Linda: So, what brings you here?

Goddess: I have some upsetting information to give to Lucifer. It’s a revelation that might send him over the edge against his Father.

(They sit down.)

Dr. Linda: Okay.

Goddess: But considering that Lucifer and I have a bumpy track record, I’m afraid he won’t believe me. I’m afraid he might think I have some… (chuckling) ulterior motive.

Dr. Linda: Do you? I’m not going to tell him this information for you, if that’s what you’re asking.

Goddess: What if I say pretty please, hmm? Apparently that’s supposed to do something.

Dr. Linda: Look, I understand that you have been… Uh, are the goddess of all creation. You’re very… uh, tall. And most certainly quite powerful. But my loyalties are to my patient, your son. Doctor-Devil confidentiality.

Goddess: But I’m not asking you to break his trust. In fact, I’m asking you to illuminate the truth for him. If he’s going to make an informed decision about Chlo… …about his future here, he needs to know the facts. (softly) Right? I said please, right?

Dr. Linda: If this information is as upsetting as you’re making it out to be, I’m not interested in being the messenger. Afraid I’m too smart for that.

Goddess: So what you’re saying is I need to find someone he’ll trust that is foolish enough to help me deliver the news.

Dr. Linda: That’s the exact opposite of what I’m suggesting.

Goddess: (standing to leave) Thank you, Doctor. I know just the person. moves quickly out the door.

Dr. Linda: Now I see the resemblance.

Dan: (talking on phone) All right, well, call me as soon as you hear anything else. Thanks.

Dr. Scott: How is she? Is she going to be okay?

Dan: They found Ashley. She’s in the hospital. But the poison must be different from the first victim. The antidote they made, it’s… It’s useless. But don’t worry, we will figure out a way. We always do. It just takes time. Okay?

Dr. Scott: I, um… I need to get a glass of water.

(Dan’s phone beeps as he makes a call.)

Dan: This is Espinoza. I need to get an update on Ashley Corbett.

(from kitchen we hear grinding, whirring)

Dan: I’m sorry. Can you say that again? I can’t hear you, there’s a… garbage disposal… Doc! Don’t. Don’t.

(Dr. Scott stands with her hand over the kitchen sink drain.)

Dr. Scott: (screams)

Dan: No!

Chloe: We e-mailed back a photo of your hand. Doubt we’ll get a response. The k*ller knows that we may be monitoring.

Dr. Scott: That poor girl was going to die. I had no choice.

Lucifer: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. You had a choice not to be so foolish.

Chloe: Lucifer.

Lucifer: Well, who’s to say the k*ller wouldn’t demand her other hand? Her spleen? Her heart? ‘Cause, believe me, there is no winning when you play by a twisted tyrant’s rules.

Chloe: Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a second? (Takes him aside.)

Lucifer: (exhales)

Chloe: You are out of line.

Lucifer: Me?

Chloe: The doctor just destroyed her hand.

Lucifer: When are people going to understand? Thou shalt not negotiate with t*rrorists! Oh, surely you can see this is a fool’s game.

Chloe: The only thing I can see is you are letting your emotions get away from you. We can’t let our feelings get in the way of our work, Lucifer. We have to work together as a team, or else someone could get hurt.

Lucifer: (backing down) Yes. Yes, I suppose they could.

Messenger: Hello? I’ve got a delivery for a Dr. Scott.

Chloe: Uh, I’ll take that. LAPD. Thanks.

Chloe: (Reading from card attached to a gift bag.) I’m a man of my word. (She then reaches in the bag and pulls out a sealed vial.)

Dr. Scott: The antidote.

Chloe: We need to test this and get it to Ashley now.

Lucifer: Right.

(Ella slaps a photo up on the crime board.)

Ella: Boo-yah. Remember how I sent a shout-out to my peeps for other poison victims?

Dan: Mm-hmm.

Ella: Well, meet Monsieur John Doe. Now, according to my buddy at DHS, this guy was found in the cargo hold of a plane in Chicago. Similar symptoms to our poison vic. And get this, the flight he was on? Came out of Los Angeles.

Dan: So, he might actually be the first victim?

Ella: Mm-hmm. I mean, the only difference is he has hot spots all over him, almost like the poison…

Dan: Spilled on him.

Ella: Exactly. But this stuff is so strong, Dan, that it k*lled him anyway. I mean, we are talking designer poison here. Engineered from controlled substances. Each one just a little bit different.

Dan: So, how do we get an antidote?

Ella: Well, that right there is the tricky part. Designer poisons need designer antidotes. This guy, our k*ller, is really good. I mean, bad. But really good.

Dan: (Realizing something, he goes to the table and hurriedly looks through papers.) Oh, my God.

Ella: I know. It’s tough. But we’ll get through this, buddy.

Dan: No. No, that photo. Hold on one second. Where is it?

Ella: What?

(Dan puts a suspect photo up on the crime board next to the other photo.)

Dan: The same birthmark. Your dead guy from Chicago is Andy Kleinberg. The rich guy that we looked into for the m*rder of that stewardess. We were searching for a… a special package that was smuggled into the country.

Ella: Okay.

Dan: We never found it. It had to be the poison. Kleinberg must’ve been the one who stole it. And look what happened to him.

Ashley: (Looking at a photo of the first student victim.) This is the other student that was poisoned? I’m sorry. I don’t recognize him.

Chloe: It’s okay. We just need to ask you these questions now that you’re feeling better.

Lucifer: Yes. Now that your inside’s no longer bleeding out.

Chloe: Do you have any idea, Ashley, when you could’ve been poisoned yesterday?

Ashley: No. I mean, it was a normal day. I woke up. I had a bio exam. Lunch at the dorms… Then I just, I went to the gym, I couldn’t even work out ’cause my arm was kind of sore.

Chloe: Why was your arm sore?

Ashley: I don’t know. Uh, I guess, ’cause of the flu shot that I got? Do you think that could have been it?

Chloe: So, according to the M.E. report, the other kid got a flu shot, too.

Lucifer: Ah. Well, what do you know?

Chloe: Ashley, where did you get the shot?

Ashley: The university health van.

Chloe: Great. Thank you. Excuse me.

Lucifer: Yes. (clears throat) Get well soon.

(beeps) (Dan is showing Lucifer and Chloe a video of an accident.)

Dan: The guy who gave the flu shots was Dr. Jason Carlisle. This is footage of a car accident he was in. He was a professor at Malibu until this video went viral.

Man on Video: No!

Dan: Want to know why?

Lucifer: Because the poor sap saved himself?

Dan: Correction. Because he saved the dissertation he’d been working on for four years, while an innocent college student working as an Uber driver died. He was publicly humiliated, his wife left him, he lost his job, his entire world spiraled out of control.

Chloe: So he took a job as a mobile health tech.

Lucifer: I thought our k*ller was just raving mad, but he’s trying to prove a bloody point. That everyone would make the same choice he did. Saving their livelihood over someone else’s life.

Dan: Johnny Kane’s face is his bread and butter, and so is the surgeon’s hand.

Chloe: So he’s recreating his own moral dilemma. He’s picking everyone by design… The kids, the professionals…

Dan: And he’s not done. Unis searched the professor’s house. They found files on over a dozen possible targets.

Chloe: Okay. Well, we need to find him, or else we need to figure out a way to draw him out carefully.

Lucifer: Or we could just get a big stick and poke the bear as hard as we can.

Chloe: What does that mean?

Lucifer: Well, this man clearly has an oversized ego, comparing himself to the likes of Johnny Kane and Dr. Scott. If we threaten that ego, trust me, he’ll respond.

Dan: How do you know?

Lucifer: Because I know his type, Daniel. Used to live with him, in fact. Called him Dad.

(Chloe goes to the computer at her desk.)

Lucifer: What are you doing?

(typing)

Lucifer: What are you doing, Detective?

Chloe: Sending him an e-mail.

Lucifer: (laughs)

Dan: What?

Lucifer: “You pathetic sad sack, “no wonder you didn’t get tenure, your experiments are as ugly as you are.” Well said, Detective.

Dan: Seriously? Insulting the serial k*ller? That’s an awesome idea.

Lucifer: Thank you. Also, his mask is a bit lame. Could be much creepier. Put that in.

Dan: Chloe. Don’t send this. All right? It’s not you. This is… This is, it’s a rash move.

(continues typing)

(taps Send key)

Dan: That’s great. I mean, what could go wrong, right? I mean, surely this won’t force the psycho underground; it won’t cause him to do anything crazy…

Lucifer: Chill out, Dan.

(computer chimes)

Chloe: He responded.

Lucifer: Ah, told you.

Chloe: With a link.

Dr. Carlisle: Hello, Detective.

Chloe: You don’t need that mask anymore, Professor Carlisle.

Dr. Carlisle: (exhales sharply) (inhales, exhales) Ah. So much easier to breathe without that thing.

Dan: What do you want, Professor?

Dr. Carlisle: What do I want? To finish my experiment without interference, but here we are…

Lucifer: Your experiment failed, Professor. We proved your theory wrong. The doctor chose to save the girl. So, clearly, not everyone’s as egregiously selfish as you are.

Dr. Carlisle: I am not a selfish person. I was vilified for doing what anyone in my position would do.

Chloe: You went back for your computer. That’s not about survival, that’s about stuff.

Dr. Carlisle: It was about instinct, but thank you for reminding me why I’m doing this and for helping me to improve upon my experiment. Truth is, Dr. Scott only mutilated her hand because she was being observed by you. So this time I’m controlling my variables. Meet… Benjamin Tibi. Innocent student, attached to a poison drip. And here, Leon Klem, accomplished track star, stuck in a vice. If Leon simply pulls the lever and severs his leg within 60 minutes, Benji here gets… this. You guessed it. The antidote. Oh, and please, for your sake… don’t waste your time trying to make another. They’re all unique, and the only place the formula lives is right here, in my head. Not bad for a sad sack who couldn’t get tenure, huh?

Chloe: Professor, wait!

(Dr. Carlisle severs connection)

Lucifer: Well. Bear officially poked.

(Maze walks in and sits at a bar stool next to The Goddess.)

Maze: You have two minutes. Talk.

Goddess: It’s simple. There’s something Lucifer needs to know. I think you should tell him.

Maze: Oh, really? And why’s that?

Goddess: Because it’s about his beloved Chloe. He’ll take it better from you. You’re his closest friend. Lucifer may be stubborn, but he listens to you.

Maze: Mm-hmm. Hate to break it to you, but if you’re buttering me up, it ain’t gonna work. You have bad news to give your son? Suck it up and do it yourself.

Maze: Good talk.

(Maze takes a shot and moves past The Goddess towards the door.)

Goddess: God made Chloe.

Maze: (turning back towards The Goddess.) Yeah. He kind of made them all.

Goddess: No. Chloe wasn’t supposed to be here. God put her in Lucifer’s path. She’s a… miracle.

Maze: (laughs) (claps hands) Granny Panties Decker? A miracle? Please.

Goddess: 35 years ago, Amenadiel was sent to this bar, where he sat down, had a chat, then blessed Penelope Decker so that she and her husband could have a child. That child is Lucifer’s partner. It’s no accident that they met.

Maze: Mm. So, what, Amenadiel blessed Penelope’s lady parts? Wait, is Amenadiel Chloe Decker’s daddy?

Goddess: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Think… about it. Haven’t you ever wondered why that particular human makes him vulnerable? Mm. But if you still don’t believe me, there’s something you should see.

Dan: No luck. I called every lab the professor’s ever been affiliated with… No one’s seen him.

Chloe: He could have built that lab anywhere, and the video link was untraceable. What if I made a mistake? What if by sending that e-mail I just sped up his timeline? There’s two lives on the line here.

Lucifer: Two lives that you’re going to save, Detective, I know you will.

Dan: Exactly.

Ella: Found something.

Chloe: Please tell me it’s good news.

Ella: Eh, more like medium news. So, Kleinberg’s autopsy came back. Turns out he didn’t die of poisoning. I mean, he would have died of poisoning, except he was strangled.

Lucifer: Impatient little k*ller.

Ella: Since I finally got time of death right, I was able to ping Kleinberg’s cell to Van Nuys Airport, where I got this.

(Plays video of the professor going through an airport checkpoint.)

Chloe: It’s the professor, clear as day.

Dan: So we can assume that he k*lled Kleinberg.

Ella: Right. But this only tells us where the professor was. It doesn’t tell us where he actually is, hence “medium” news.

Chloe: Uh, can you rewind it to the part where he goes through security?

Dan: Why, what are you looking for?

Chloe: Okay, freeze there. And then zoom in on the tray.

Dan: Looks like a key card with a logo.

Ella: Oh, definitely a bird. School mascot maybe?

Chloe: We checked every lab at Malibu State.

Lucifer: Well, he wouldn’t go back there, would he? Trust me, when you get kicked out of a fancy party, the last thing you want to do is sneak back in.

Chloe: You do the opposite. Who’s Malibu’s closest rival?

(Chloe and Lucifer quickly get out of her car.)

Chloe: The lab in here is closed for renovation, so maybe he’s here.

(With her g*n drawn, Chloe moves through basement hallways to find a closed lab with Dr. Carlyle inside.)

Dr. Carlisle: Well, well, isn’t this a surprise.

(Chloe tries the door. (Door rattles)

Dr. Carlisle: It’s locked, Detective. But with that said, I’m actually glad you made it.

Lucifer: Why, because you’d like to surrender? It’s a bit anticlimactic, but very well, we accept.

Dr. Carlisle: No, because now you get to see firsthand what I’m trying to prove.

Chloe: It’s over, Professor.

Dr. Carlisle: Afraid you’re wrong about that.

(Chloe shoots the glass but it does not break.) (g*nsh*t)

Dr. Carlisle: Acrylic glass, Detective. Please don’t k*ll yourself with your own b*llet. We wouldn’t be able to conduct the final part of this experiment. Time for you to make a choice. In this vial, an antidote that will save Benji’s life. In vial numero dos, poisonous gas that will k*ll you if you enter the room. Simple, really… You decide what’s more important.

(He holds a gas mask to his face and drops the poisonous gas vial, and it shatters on the floor. Fumes start to rise.)

Chloe: No.

(Dr. Carlisle leaves through another exit. Chloe raises her g*n to shoot again but is stopped by Lucifer.)

Lucifer: W-W-W-What are you doing?

Chloe: If I don’t get in that room right now, that kid is gonna die.

Lucifer: Word of advice, Detective. If you go into that room right now, you’ll die.

Chloe: What are we supposed to do?

Lucifer: I can save him.

Chloe: What?

Lucifer: But in order to do so, you need to go after the professor right now, before it’s too late.

Chloe: What?

Lucifer: I promise you I can get to that antidote without harming myself.

Chloe: How?

Lucifer: We don’t have time to explain. Do you trust me?

Chloe: Yes.

Lucifer: Then go. Go!

(Chloe leaves to go after Dr. Carlyle. When she leaves the building, she sees him not too far in front of her.)

Chloe: Freeze!

(Dr. Carlyle pushes people out of his way.) (grunts) (screams)

Lucifer: Right.

(Young man inside the sealed lab coughs. Lucifer breaks some glass and uses a sharp piece to cut himself, proving Chloe isn’t far enough away yet.)

Lucifer: Okay.

(Chloe catches up to Dr. Carlisle, and they tumble to the ground. He manages to push her away and escape.)

Chloe: Oh!

(grunts) (indistinct chatter) (both grunt) (yells)

(Lucifer cuts himself again.)

Lucifer: Oh, come on, Detective, a bit of help here! I need you further away.

(Chloe continues the chase through outdoor corridors to another part of the campus. Dr. Carlisle runs down an alley that is blocked at the end by a chain-link fence.)

Chloe: Freeze! There’s nowhere left to run, Professor.

(Lucifer tries to cut himself again, and he does not bleed.) (laughs cynically) (He grabs the door and, with his strength, rips the door open and enters the fog inside the lab.) (inhales deeply) (exhales)

Lucifer: Lovely. (He moves forward to save the young men.)

(Chloe holds Dr. Carlisle at g*n point. As the Dr. turns to face her, he pulls a large knife out of his pocket and then puts his hands up.)

Dr. Carlisle: I knew you’d save yourself. It was the only choice you could make.

Chloe: Put down the knife. It’s not too late. You can still make a different choice. The right choice. You can still save that kid back there.

Dr. Carlisle: You still don’t get it. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but I needed people to understand I’m not a monster, I’m human. You call it biology, call it God, but choice is an illusion. I didn’t have one when I pulled myself out of that burning car. And I certainly don’t have one now. You’ll understand soon enough.

(He raises the knife and slits his own throat. He falls to the ground, and Chloe watches helplessly.)

(Chloe runs up to see the two young men sitting on a bench drinking water from bottles.)

Chloe: Where is he? Where is Lucifer?

Lucifer: I’m right here, Detective.

(Lucifer casually walks out of the building, straightening his cuffs. He walks down the stairs and meets her at the bottom.)

Lucifer: See? I told you everything would be all right.

Chloe: (Looking concerned and relieved. She grabs him and holds him tight.) I’m so glad you’re okay.

Lucifer: (chuckles)

Chloe: Hey. I guess we make a good team after all, don’t we?

Lucifer: This is real, isn’t it?

(They look adoringly at each other. Touch each other’s faces. Embrace again. Lucifer chuckles.)

Goddess: What if he doesn’t come?

Maze: If he said he’ll be here, he’ll be here.

(Lucifer enters the front door and walks towards Maze.)

Lucifer: Mazikeen! Interesting choice of venue.

(Lucifer sees The Goddess also sitting with Maze.)

Lucifer: My, my, how the tide has turned. What’s this, celestial enemies’ night out?

Goddess: Why don’t you have a seat, Lucifer? There’s something that we need to tell you.

Lucifer: Ooh, some sort of supernatural intervention, is it? (chuckles) Well, doesn’t matter what shenanigans you two have got cooking up, ’cause, quite frankly, I’m too happy for you to spoil things.

Maze: Happy?

Lucifer: Yeah. The detective and I… Sorry… Chloe and I are real. I mean, I didn’t think it could happen, but it has, and I’ve got this overwhelming sensation… I can’t even describe it, but… I feel invincible. So come on, ladies, bring it on. Whatever it is, I’m sure I can deal with it.

Maze: Forget it. Come on.

(Maze grabs Lucifer by the arm and pulls him towards the door.)

Lucifer: What?

Maze: There’s nothing to talk about.

Lucifer: What? I’ve only just got here.

Maze: Go. Go.

(The Goddess stands up.)

Goddess: We discussed this, Mazikeen.

Maze: No. You discussed this. And I don’t want to have anything to do with it anymore.

Goddess: I thought you understood. We’re doing this for him.

Maze: Is that it? Or are you trying to get back at your ex?

Goddess: You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Maze: I knew you were up to something.

(As the women argue, Lucifer is looking at the photos on the wall and is surprised by one.)

Lucifer: What the hell is this? What’s Amenadiel doing with Chloe’s mum?

(He pulls the photo off the wall.)

Goddess: I think you already know.

Lucifer: Don’t toy with me, Mother. What is this?

Goddess: I’ve been trying to find the right way to tell you. But there is no right way, because the truth…

(Maze tries to stop her, but the Goddess raises her finger to hush her.)

Goddess: …is… this is your Father’s doing. Chloe… is His doing… He put her in your path.

Lucifer: (weak chuckle, then the reality settles in.) (Lucifer panting replays in his mind, flashes of this entire relationship with Chloe.) So… none of it was… None of it was real.

(The Goddess raises he hand to comfort him. He stops her.)

Lucifer: Don’t!

Maze: Lucifer.

(Lucifer drops the photo on the floor and hurries out of the bar.)

(Lucifer lets himself into Chloe’s apartment, angrily looking for her.)

Lucifer: Detective, I need to talk to you. Detective!

(He runs up the stairs and finds Chloe in the bathroom.)

Lucifer: Detective!

Lucifer: Did you know? Huh?

Lucifer: This whole bloody time, did you know?

Chloe: (crying, she turns towards him, revealing her nose is bleeding.)

Chloe: Lucifer… something’s wrong. It won’t stop.