S3 Ep16: Infernal Guinea Pig

(Lucifer and Pierce are alone. Lucifer is using a whiteboard to explain his plan on how to erase Pierce’s curse. Lucifer has drawn crude stick figures of Cain and Able.)

Lucifer: Once upon a time, there were two brothers… Cain and Abel. They fought, as brothers often do, over everything.

Pierce: What’s that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands or holding spiders?

Lucifer: (Chuckles) That’s you and your brother pummeling each other over a pet rock. And here’s you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake.

Pierce: That’s not how it happened.

Lucifer: Well, artistic license, my friend. The point is that you were always at each other’s throats. Until… (Sniffs) you fought to the death. You k*lled Abel and became the world’s first m*rder*r. Now, the part where my father marks you, cursing you to walk the earth for eternity, it’s tricky to draw.

Pierce: Now, um, I’ve heard this one before… The ending sucks.

Lucifer: My point exactly. We all know how your story ends. But what if we change how it begins? What if you never k*lled Abel? What if we did… this? Clean slate.

Pierce: That’s impossible. How would we do that?

Lucifer: Oh, simple. I shall fly down to Hell, pluck your brother’s soul, and drop it into a vacant body. This would make Abel technically alive, and therefore not m*rder*d, and you innocent.

Pierce: Wait, back up. My brother is in Hell?

Lucifer: Yes, of course. In fact, he’s our oldest tenant.

Pierce: I knew it. Do you know how many times I’ve tried to tell people Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me.

Lucifer: Right, can we just focus on my genius plan? If we bring Abel back to life, that would erase your crime. No crime, no mark, no curse. You’d be mortal and can finally die.

(Pierce is looking through a binder of photos of dead men to find a body for Able to inhabit.)

Pierce: This one’s good. Oh, this one’s even better.

Lucifer: Yeah, a bit past its sell-by date, I’m afraid.

Pierce: Wait till Abel wakes up in this body.

Lucifer: I never thought I’d say this, but slow down, Lieutenant. Time to lay down some soul-dropping rules, or what I think the rules are, at least.

Pierce: You have done this before, right?

Lucifer: Not exactly, but based on a sample size of, uh, one crooked cop and one goddess, I can only drop a soul into someone who’s recently died.

Pierce: How recent?

Lucifer: The instant after death.

Pierce: So we need a fresh one. How are we gonna find that?

(Chloe enters the room.)

Chloe: Hey, guys? There’s been an expl*si*n at a high-rise downtown. There’s one dead at the scene, one on the way to the ICU.

Lucifer: Oh, that’s promising.

Chloe: Excuse me?

Pierce: He means that’s a promising chance to question the witness at the hospital.

Lucifer: Mm. Yes, where loads of people are on the brink of death.

Chloe: So you want to question someone who’s unconscious and in critical condition?

Pierce: The witness may recover, have some intel. Can’t hurt to check.

Lucifer: Hmm.

Chloe: (confused but accepts the explanation) Okay, we’ll work the crime scene. Lucifer, you coming?

Pierce: Lucifer’s coming with me this time.

(Chloe leaves the room.)

Lucifer: (to Pierce) Shall we?

(Chloe arrives at the office where the explosion occurred and Dan is catching her up.)

Dan: B*mb squad did their threat report. Ruled it as a homicide, handed it off to us. Looks like the b*mb came by messenger. And, uh, an assistant opened the package, triggering the b*mb.

(EMTs are wheeling out a body in a body bag.)

Chloe: Huh. Is that the messenger?

Dan: Yep.

Ella: Rest in peace, dude.

Dan: We tried to track who sent it, but they covered their tracks. One thing we do know is that the assistant wasn’t the target. Package was addressed to her boss. (Dan points to a woman standing in the doorway.) Producer Alexa Lee, she just came in, she’s pretty shook up.

Chloe: All right. Let’s go talk to her.

Chloe: (to Alexa) Where were you when the blast occurred?

Alexa: At home. My Tuesday session with Paolo, my Pilates trainer.

Dan: You have any idea who’d want to hurt you? Any past enemies, grudges, anything like that?

Alexa: How much time you got? (Scoffs) Come on, this is Hollywood. I get way more hate mail than fan mail.

Chloe: Did any one threat stand out at all?

Alexa: Uh, my assistant will know. Bree Garland. She deals with all my mail and… oh, my God, did Bree open the box?

Chloe: She’s in the ICU. But we haven’t heard word yet.

Alexa: Oh, no. It should have been me. Poor Bree.

(Lucifer and Pierce are trying to find a body for Able. They just so happen to be at the explosion victim’s bedside.)

Lucifer: Bree Garland? She won’t do at all.

Pierce: Why not?

Lucifer: Well, how much do you hate your brother on a scale of one to ten?

Pierce: One thousand, infinity plus one.

Lucifer: Right, well, if we pop Abel into a body this young, you could be stuck with him for another 70 years. That’s a lot of quality time.

Pierce: Copy, not her.

Lucifer: (Sighs) No, what we need is someone ancient, someone at death’s door. (Heart rate monitor flatlining) Someone…

(They look behind the curtain at the next bed where an elderly man just flatlined. When the nurse leaves the man, Pierce and Lucifer try to look disinterested. Lucifer clears throat. When the nurse leaves, they check the man’s chart.)

Pierce: “Do not resuscitate. 97 years old, no next of kin.” Perfect. Yes, we’ll put Abel in this old coot.

Lucifer: (Giggles) He gets a second chance at life and you get your chance at death.

Pierce: Let’s do this.

Lucifer: Right.

Lucifer: Enjoy the show, Dad.

(Wings whoosh as Lucifer leaves) (Bree Garland’s heart rate monitor flatlining) (Wind whooshes as Lucifer returns) (Feet thud)

Lucifer: Right.

(Bree Garland’s heart rate monitor beats rhythmically as she awakes and sits up.)

Lucifer: (Sighs) Any second now.

(Pierce and Lucifer wait for the elderly man to revive.)

Lucifer: Any second.

Pierce: You sure you did this right?

Lucifer: Well, I know I grabbed Abel down below.

Pierce: Did you put him in the right place?

Lucifer: Probably.

Pierce: What do you mean, “probably”?

(They do not see that Bree Garland has gotten out of bed and is walking out of the room.)

Lucifer: Well, like I said, I’m new to this. But where else would I have dropped him?

Pierce: Did you screw this up?

Lucifer: I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like there’s an instruction manual.

(Pierce walks out from inside the curtains surrounding the elderly man’s bed. He sees the bed next to him is now empty.)

Pierce: Lucifer. Where did she go?

Lucifer: Hmm? Oh. Okay, I see what’s happened here. It appears I may have misplaced your brother’s soul. (Chuckles) But in my defense, what were the chances of this young lady expiring at the exact same time?

Pierce: Tell me you didn’t put Abel in her body.

Lucifer: (Sighs) So I make one teeny mistake. Yes, it appears that Abel is running around as a young woman. But the point is, we did it. Abel’s alive. What matters is, your curse is lifted and you should no longer have your mark. So come on, let’s have a look.

(Pierce takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeve.)

Pierce: The mark is still there, which means I’m still cursed. We failed.

Lucifer: (Sighs) Bugger.

(Lucifer and Pierce are searching for Bree.)

Lucifer: (Scoffs) He’s a spry one. Or she. No sign of her anywhere. I mean, him. This is head-spinning, isn’t it?

Pierce: We need to find him.

Lucifer: Why? You already figured out a plan “B”? Another way Abel can help remove your curse? What is it?

Pierce: I don’t know, but whatever it is, it has to involve Abel.

Lucifer: Right. Time to call the detective.

Pierce: Yeah, that’s a great idea. “Hey, Decker. We broke Abel out of Hell, dropped his soul into the wrong body and lost him. Now he’s on the lam in the body of the victim from your case. Also, I’m immortal.”

Lucifer: There’s no need to get snippy. Fine, we’ll do this on our own under the radar. Now, he’s your brother. Where do you think he’d go?

Pierce: I don’t know, we’re not exactly in touch. It’s been a few millennia. You tortured him in Hell. You probably know him better than I do.

Lucifer: (Sighs) Barely saw him, actually. I was more of a big picture kind of guy. The good news is I do know a demon or two. Come on.

(Chloe and Dan are looking through hate mail sent to Alexa.)

Chloe: Who knew a producer could have this many enemies?

Dan: Occupational hazard, I guess. Yikes, check this out. Look at that.

Chloe: Huh. “You’re going to die.” Hmm.

Dan: I do believe we have a winner.

Chloe: Hang on.

(Compares the one letter to another from the pile.)

Chloe: Look at the Gs. It’s the same handwriting.

Dan: Sent a few weeks back.

Chloe: They were upset about one of Alexa’s movies, The Plunge. “It’s full of lies. If you want the real truth, read The Z Prophecy.” What is that?

Dan: Wait, Alexa made The Plunge?

Chloe: Have you seen it?

Dan: (Chuckling) Oh, man. A group of teens, they have to travel to the center of the Earth to unclog this blocked-up magma. Oh, man, does it get intense.

Chloe: Mm-hmm. Whoever wrote this letter wants people to read The Z Prophecy. Wonder what it is.

(She finds it on the internet.)

Dan: “Visionary, Liam Wade,” author of The Z Prophecy and a whole bunch of other conspiracy theories. Wow. Seems pretty bonkers. Check out his manifesto.

Chloe: Look. It’s the same handwriting as the letters. Okay, we need to talk to him and find out exactly why he was threatening Alexa.

(Charlotte is having a therapy session with Dr. Linda and is drinking a health beverage.)

Charlotte: Crap. Old socks. Moldy leaves.

Lucifer: If it tastes so bad, why drink it?

Charlotte: Well, I read that five doses a day helps supercharge your memory. I’ve also tried… meditation, Sudoku, a lot of broccoli, but no recovered memories so far. Just flatulence. I was hoping that you had some, um, memory-jogging techniques. Perhaps some mental exercises I could do, preferably, while I’m sleeping because that’s four hours a day I don’t need to waste just sleeping. (Chuckles)

Dr. Linda: You do realize you can’t win at therapy.

Charlotte: Oh, please, I can win at anything.

Dr. Linda: Let’s start there. Your desire to win tells me you have a strong need for control.

Charlotte: Could we focus on finding my lost memories? Because that’s what I’m paying you for.

Dr. Linda: Well, I think we should slow down and focus on what you do remember. You say that you keep reliving the same thing over and over. Is it like, say, an endless, horrible loop? One you weren’t even aware you were trapped in? I know this is scary. But it’s where we need to start. (Pauses, bites her lip and then continues.) In your Hell.

Charlotte: (stands up) No, that’s the last thing I need. And not what I asked you for at all.

Dr. Linda: Okay, well, it’s not really about what you think you need. Or ask for. I know you’re used to being in charge, but I’m the expert here. You need to let me drive this.

Charlotte: Drive me crazy, so that you can get me hooked on therapy, and milk me for every cent. No, thanks.

(Charlotte walks out.)

Dr. Linda: (Exhales)

(Maze, Lucifer, and Pierce are talking in the kitchen.)

Maze: (Maze moans) Oh, God, Abel. (Chuckles) You never forget your first.

Lucifer: So you’ll help us find him, then?

Maze: I’ll tell you what I know so you can do your own grunt work for once. Did you know that Abel was the first soul in Hell?

Lucifer: Mm, an infernal guinea pig, so to speak.

Maze: We all learned to t*rture by torturing him.

Pierce: What’d you do to him?

Maze: (Inhales) Well, Abel would be out partying, and then, you’d show up.

(Maze imitates Pierce walking. )

Pierce: (Chuckles) I don’t walk like that.

Lucifer: Yeah, you do.

Maze: Yes, you do.

Pierce: Why was I even there?

Maze: You were the star of Abel’s Hell loop. No matter what he did, you’d always show up, and k*ll him. Over and over.

Pierce: I was his torturer?

Lucifer: Whilst this is all very illuminating, Maze, how do we find Abel? Keep an ear out for someone babbling in Sumerian?

Maze: (Laughing) Oh, no, no. He speaks in English. And all the romance languages. (Scoffs) Arabic, Mandarin. I mean, he’s a little dated, and his Hindi needs work.

Pierce: Wait, what?

Maze: Me and the other demons would get bored, so we’d switch up the Hell loop.

Lucifer: Okay?

Maze: It would always be you k*lling him, but at different times, different places. He was a fast learner.

Lucifer: So, what you’re saying is Hell made him multilingual and completely adaptable?

Pierce: And we put him in the body of a young woman.

Lucifer: (Groans)

Maze: Smooth move, boys.

Lucifer: Hold on. If Abel’s Hell was constantly changing, then this may just feel like another Hell loop to him. He may have no idea he’s actually alive again.

Pierce: Do you remember where he would start his loop?

Lucifer: Yes.

Maze: Hmm. Do you know who he reminds me of? (Stomps foot. Points at Lucifer.)

Lucifer: (Scoffs)

Maze: Total poon hound. You want to know where Abel is… ask yourself. Where would caveman Lucifer go?

(Maze opens a box on the counter and takes out a wad of dollar bills the slaps it on Pierce’s chest who takes the money and looks at Lucifer questioningly.)

Lucifer: Fancy a walk?

(Bree/Able is walking in a manly manner across the street when a cab almost hits him. Bree slams her hands on the hood and makes a gesture with her arms. She continues to walk up to a group of beautiful woman and addresses them.)

(Engine revving) (Tires screeching)

Able: Ladies, ladies. Let’s be fruitful, and multiply, huh? Allow me to bless you with my seed. (The women chuckle, turn their backs and continue into the building with a sign that reads “The Roof Top Bar at Eastern.” Bree follows.)

(Dan and Chloe are making their way through dense tree branches and shrubs.)

Dan: Would it k*ll this nutjob to put in a driveway? (Sighs) Right, Chloe?

Chloe: Huh?

Dan: Chloe.

Chloe: What? Sorry, sorry. I’m distracted. It’s just…

Dan: Yeah.

Chloe: Pierce, taking Lucifer. I’m worried that it’s something I did or said or both.

Dan: Why? What did you do or say?

Chloe: Well… uh, you know what? Never mind. It’s not Pierce, i-it’s Lucifer. When he started here, no one wanted to work with him. And I spent all this time training him, and… now that he’s somewhat of a decent partner, Pierce just swoops in and grabs him? Lucifer doesn’t even blink? It’s not cool.

(Chloe stops in front of Dan turns to face him as they talk.)

Dan: Right. Possessive much? Come on, I’m just giving you a hard time. So he’s working with Pierce. Lucifer’s still your partner.

(Now Chloe can see red laser dot appear on Dan’s face.)

Dan: What? What, do I got something on my face? Oh, God, is there a spider? (He frantically wipes at his face.) Is it still there?

Chloe: It’s not a spider. It’s a sn*per.

Dan: What?

(They both put their hands up. Chloe turns to face in the direction the laser site is coming from.)

Chloe: Mr. Wade? Please put down the weapon.

Liam: (over speaker) This is private property. Leave now.

Chloe: Did you send this note to Alexa Lee?

(Chloe holds up an evidence bag with the yellow note in it. Leaves move in front of them. Liam appears fully covered in leaf camouflage. Takes off the hood and comes towards them.)

Liam: (happy) You read my message. People are finally starting to listen.

Dan: Mr. Wade, um, we’re here because of a recent attempt on Alexa’s life.

Liam: Wait, why do you think I would want to hurt Alexa?

Chloe: Well, for starters, in the note, you said that she was gonna die.

Liam: Yeah. Because she is. She’s gonna die. I’m gonna die. We’re all gonna die if we don’t act now. I wasn’t threatening Alexa. I wrote her a wake-up call.

Chloe: About what?

Liam: Well, I’m glad you asked, ma’am. You see, our planet’s magma flows are blocked. If that flow isn’t released, soon… (Exhales) big, molten apocalypse.

Dan: Right. I saw the movie.

Liam: And now you don’t believe me, and that is the problem. The Plunge made the prophecy into a joke. Her crappy movie made a mockery out of a very, very serious issue.

Dan: I don’t know, man, I kind of dug The Plunge.

Liam: (Sighs) Seriously? A jock, a nerd and a princess save the planet? I mean, come on.

Dan: It was fun.

Liam: (Exhales) Wow. (Clears throat) Look. I hated Alexa’s movie. Okay? But I would never hurt her. I-I actually kind of owe her. Because guess who has 196 more Twitter followers since The Plunge premiered?

Chloe: Okay, if you didn’t attack her, then who did?

Liam: Alexa had a lot of enemies. Big Agro, Big Frac. The Bolivians. The carnies.

Chloe: Carnies? Okay, we’re gonna need to search your property. Extensively.

(Bree/Able is sitting at a table by the pool admiring a woman.)

Abel: Mm. Look at the bosoms on that one. This is the land of milk and honey.

(Amenadiel arrives.)

Amenadiel: Hello, Abel. (He sits down across from Able.) I’ve been watching you, Abel.

Able: (annoyed) I do not want to lay with you. Or any other man. It’s not my thing.

Amenadiel: Listen, I’m not hitting on you. You’re a pawn. Brought here by forces that you don’t understand. Now, I’m here to take you back to where you belong. Okay.

Able: Does “no” not mean “no” anymore? I want one of these fine maidens to warm my bed, not you. Or any of the men who’ve been eyeing me like I’m some big hunk of…

(Amenadiel picks up a tray off the table that has a mirror-like surface and hold it up so Able can see himself.)

Amenadiel: Abel. Have you seen yourself lately?

Able: Oh. Are those bosoms mine? So that’s why none of those menfolk heard a word I said.

Amenadiel: Doesn’t all this feel familiar? Don’t you sense what’s about to happen?

Able: Yes. Every time I seek out revelry, my brother arrives.

Amenadiel: And what does he do?

Able: He… He kills me. Over and over. And there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. I’ve tried everything. Fighting him, running from him, all in vain. I’m trapped. I can never escape.

Amenadiel: You’re right, Abel. You can’t fight him. But I may have a way out of this for you.

(Amenadiel pulls out a g*n and puts it on the table under a cloth napkin so only Able can see it.)

Able: You want me to k*ll myself? Well, I’ve never tried that before.

(Lucifer and Pierce are quickly walking down the sidewalk.)

Pierce: How many more strip clubs are we going to search?

Lucifer: Why, as many as it takes. What would I and therefore Abel do next? Keep up the fun, obviously.

Pierce: Well, we just spent the last half hour wandering past billboards of women’s lingerie.

Lucifer: And your problem is?

Pierce: “Problems,” plural. One… no sign of Abel, two… we have no idea what we’re gonna do even if we find him.

Lucifer: Well, speak for yourself, Negative Nelly, ’cause I think I’ve worked out exactly what we need to do.

Pierce: Wait, you have?

Lucifer: Yes. Well, Dad’s an old school kind of guy, right? Eye for an eye, and all that? You k*lled Abel, so in order to make things truly even-Steven…

Pierce: Abel has to k*ll me.

Lucifer: Mm-hmm.

Pierce: It does make sense.

Lucifer: So which way do you think you’re headed? Once you finally pop off. Pearly gates or blazing inferno? Be ironic if you went to all this trouble just to end up in a Hell loop.

Pierce: I’d never punish myself like that. Hell is all about your own guilt torturing you, right?

Lucifer: Right.

Pierce: Well, my conscience is clear.

Lucifer: Oh. k*lling your brother isn’t the kind of thing you just shake off.

Pierce: Listen, Abel wanted to k*ll me just as much as I wanted to k*ll him. Why do you think he’s in Hell? I’m just the guy who won the fight.

(Two beautiful women is tight dresses walk past them.)

Lucifer: Hello. Where would I and therefore Abel go next? Wherever she’s going.

Pierce: (sighs)

(Lucifer follows the women into building with the sign “The Roof Top Bar at Eastern.”)

Dan: Results from our samples came back. Liam told the truth. No trace of expl*sive compounds on the farm. Or much else.

Chloe: Hmm. Unless you count all the turkey jerky he was hoarding for the apocalypse.

Dan: (Chuckles. He then leans over to see what she is reading.) “Bolivian crime organizations”? You’re not taking Liam seriously, are you?

Chloe: Okay, don’t laugh, but I’ve been looking into some of his theories.

Dan: Ring of evil carnies. I’m calling it.

(Both chuckle)

Chloe: All right. Ella got back to me with her b*mb report. It was made from fertilizer that’s banned in the U.S., but guess where it’s still being used.

Dan: Bolivia? No way.

Chloe: Yeah. So I took a closer look into Alexa’s company to see if I could prove a Bolivian connection.

Dan: Uh-huh.

Chloe: She’s got a lot of international financiers, which is pretty normal nowadays. But I highlighted the Bolivian ones.

Dan: Guess there was a grain of truth in Liam’s craziness. We should cross-check that list with the FBI and DHS.

Chloe: I already did. These names are linked up to the Bolivian drug cartel.

(Computer chiming)

Chloe: This is my contact from the TSA. One of the Bolivian contractors landed in L.A. this morning. Wonder what he’s doing here.

(We see on Chloe’s computer screen a photo of the Bolivian contractor, a tough looking man.)

(The Bolivian contractor walks in.)

Amenadiel: I know you can do it, Abel.

(Just then, Pierce and Lucifer also arrive on the roof top.)

Lucifer: (Chuckles)

Able: Wait. Who are you? How do you know all of this?

(Behind Amenadiel’s back, the Bolivian contractor sees Bree/Able and raises his g*n to shoot her. She grabs the g*n from under the napkin, points it at the contractor and sh**ts.)

Amenadiel: No!

(g*nsh*t. The contractor is hit in the head and goes backward into the pool.)

Pierce: That’s her.

(Onlookers screaming)

(Pierce and Lucifer run up to Amenadiel who is now standing alone.)

Lucifer: What are you doing here?

Pierce: Where’d he go? I mean, where did she go?

Amenadiel: I don’t know. (Sighs)

Lucifer: I told you to stay out of my way.

Amenadiel: And I told you Father cursed Cain for a reason. You actually thought that I would just sit around while you two idiots were raising Abel? I’ve been following you, Luci. So reckless, even by your standards.

Lucifer: (Chuckles) Well, I think it’s rather brilliant, actually. Using the wings Dad unfairly punished me with to undo another one of his unfair punishments.

Amenadiel: Do you seriously not realize just how dangerous it is to anger Father?

Lucifer: (scoffs)

Amenadiel: Have you also forgotten that He took away your devil face?

Lucifer: Precisely my point, brother. I’ve got nothing left to lose.

Amenadiel: Oh, don’t be foolish, Luci. There are so many things that Father can still take away from you.

Lucifer: Again with the fearmongering. For the nth time, I’m not going to just take Dad’s abuse. Cowering from Him is your jam, remember?

Amenadiel: You know what? It’s not you that I am trying to prove my worth to. So think what you will, do what you will. I’m gonna find Abel and send him back to where he belongs.

(Amenadiel leaves. Pierce has been on the other side of the pool and now walks back to Lucifer.)

Pierce: Oh, so we’re just gonna let him leave, so he can get in our way later.

Lucifer: No, no. Next time, we’ll be ready.

Pierce: Bad news. Dead guy? Bolivian cartel hit man.

Lucifer: What? The Bolivian cartel wants to k*ll Bree? Why?

Pierce: Don’t know. (Sighs) There’s no keeping this from Decker anymore.

Lucifer: Fine. I’ll let you tell her.

(Chloe, Pierce, and Lucifer are talking about the case.)

Chloe: Okay.

Pierce: Okay? That’s it?

Lucifer: What, you’re not gonna tear him a new one? Come on, I’ve gotten much worse for much less.

Chloe: I’m not gonna yell at my boss, even if he lost our witness twice.

Lucifer: Oh, because you’ve got a soft spot for him?

Chloe: Because I’m not an idiot. Look, you’re the lieutenant, you call the shots. But the next time you want to steal my partner to tail the target of my investigation, you want to clue me in first? Before it turns into a public gunfight?

Pierce: Deal. Next time. You said “target.” Are you thinking the b*mb was meant for Bree and not Alexa?

Chloe: Well, maybe the Bolivians knew that Bree always opened her boss’ mail, used it as a misdirect.

Lucifer: Well, I still don’t understand. Why does the Bolivian cartel want a Hollywood assistant dead? Did she neglect to pick the pistachios off their quinoa salad?

Chloe: Well, that’s the missing piece. So we should find out what Alexa knows. If I can have my partner back?

Pierce: Of course. I’ll track down Bree, I need to find him before…

Lucifer: You mean her.

Pierce: I need to find her before the cartel does.

Chloe: Mm-hmm.

(Chloe is talking to Alexa.)

Alexa: So the b*mb wasn’t for me.

Chloe: Well, the intended target was your assistant, Bree. Have you heard from her lately?

Alexa: What are you talking about? Bree’s in the hospital.

Chloe: She fled from the ER. No one’s heard from her. She could be in a lot of danger.

Lucifer: I guarantee she is.

Alexa: Well, how’s that possible? I-I was told she suffered fatal internal injuries.

Lucifer: Yes, well, you could say she’s like a new man.

Alexa: (sighs) Well, thank God, but we need to find her.

Chloe: We’re doing everything we can to make sure she’s safe.

Alexa: What? Oh, yes, yes, of course. That, too, but I need her back so bad. Do you know what it’s like to have someone take away an assistant you depend on?

Chloe: Yes, I do, actually. (Sighs)

Alexa: I mean, I-I am seriously lost here without her. I-I don’t even know how to call out of the office. Do you know how?

Chloe: So you have no idea what kind of beef these Bolivian associates of yours may have had with Bree?

Alexa: I don’t. Bree is fluent in Spanish, so she dealt with those investors directly.

Chloe: And you didn’t think to vet them at all before you went into business with them?

Alexa: Have you seen the films I make? I can’t afford to be picky. Someone offers me money, I take it.

Chloe: Okay, well, I’m gonna need to see any documented interactions you have with these investors.

Alexa: Absolutely, they’re in there.

Chloe: Okay.

(Alexa tries to open a large, wide file cabinet and can’t.)

Alexa: Oh, right. Only Bree’s fingerprint can unlock it.

Chloe: Bree installed a biometric lock on the file cabinet? Seems a little paranoid. What did she have to hide?

(Chloe is sitting at her desk, Lucifer stands nearby as Dan walks up.)

Dan: Two recent incoming wires for 50 grand each, both from a South American bank.

Chloe: Bingo. Shady side business with the Bolivians it is.

Lucifer: So Bree was embezzling from that useless boss of hers. Huh, who can blame her?

Chloe: Does loyalty mean nothing to you? Alexa gave Bree her first job in Hollywood. She trained her. You don’t just ditch that the minute some big-armed, blue-eyed, toned… Bolivian drug lord comes around, okay? Y-you, you don’t, you don’t. Dan, if Bree bolted from the ER, maybe she left some things behind, like her phone.

Dan: Mm-hmm, which could hold proof to her connection with the Bolivians. That’s good thinking. I’m gonna check on that.

(Dan leaves, tapping Lucifer on the arm as he passes.)

Chloe: Okay, thanks. All right, I’m gonna see if Pierce had any luck finding Bree.

Lucifer: Oh, well, he won’t need any luck. He’s got something far better than that.

(Maze is carrying large weapons in each arm and brings them into the living area where Pierce is waiting.)

Maze: Decker’s right. You’re cute. But I’m mid-bounty and I just got a lead. So, if you don’t mind…

Pierce: Lucifer told me to tell you this is exactly the opposite of what Amenadiel wants.

(Maze drops the weapons, loudly.)

Maze: I’m in.

Pierce: Great. How do we find him?

Maze: Well… Your brother’s a predictable one. He always runs to food or boobs. Usually boobs.

Pierce: That’s how we found him the first time. Now he has boobs, that might change his itinerary.

Maze: That’s right, I totally forgot about that. (Chuckles) Is he hot?

Pierce: Just tell me how we find him.

Maze: Well, every now and again, the sucker would do something I never saw coming.

(Elevator bell dings. The doors open and Able comes out pointing a g*n at Pierce/Cain.)

Able: Hello, Cain. And good-bye.

(g*nsh*t)

(Pierce groans and falls on the floor after being shot in the chest.)

Maze: Just like that.

Able: Yes! (Grunts) Finally! Slayed you before you slayed me! (Grunts) Ashes to ashes, you b*st*rd! (Grunts rhythmically)

Maze: Enjoy it while it lasts, Abel.

Able: How do you know my name? And what is that supposed to mean?

(Pierce/Cain revives. Grunting. He stands up clutching his chest.)

Pierce: (to Maze) Thanks for the heads-up.

Maze: You said you wanted to die. Make up your mind, cupcake.

Pierce: (pulls up his sleeve) And the mark is still there.

Able: (Sobbing. His knees buckle and he falls on the ground, dropping the g*n.) Please, no. No, please. Please. Just make it quick, Cain. Please make it quick.

Pierce: (kicks the g*n aside) No. I need you alive, so you can help me die.

Able: Wait, what? This has to be a trick. You always k*ll me.

Maze: That was when you were in Hell, where you’ve spent the last few millennia.

Pierce: Maze tortured you in the afterlife. Your punishment was to get k*lled by me, over and over.

Maze: That’s right. You were trapped in a Hell loop, but now you’re out.

Pierce: You’re alive, brother.

Maze: (Imitates his head expl*si*n)

(Lucifer and Pierce are talking.)

Pierce: Turns out Abel k*lling me didn’t remove the mark.

Lucifer: Mm-hmm. Right, yes, I got that from the whole “you still being alive” of it all.

Pierce: So much for making everything even-Steven. It’s now time for Plan “C.” (Scoffs)

Lucifer: I didn’t realize we had one.

Pierce: We don’t. But we’ll think of something.

Lucifer: Okay, and how is bringing your she-brother into the precinct going to help?

(Lucifer walks next to Pierce and we now see Bree/Able sitting at the table in the interrogation room.)

Lucifer: Much as I’m enjoying his Basic Instinct routine.

Pierce: First things first, we have to make sure the Bolivians don’t k*ll him.

(Chloe and Charlotte enter the interrogation room to interview Bree.)

Chloe: Bree. I’m Detective Decker. This is Charlotte Richards from the DA’s office.

Charlotte: Miss Garland, do you confirm that you’re waiving your right to legal council?

Able: Yes. Woman, I will waive whatever you want me to waive.

Chloe: (whispering to Charlotte) Uh, Lieutenant said he had noticed some PTSD symptoms, so we should just kind of roll with it if we can.

Charlotte: Don’t take this lightly, Miss Garland. It’s a big decision.

Able: Mmm. Not as big as my flock. Do you know how many sheep I possess? Enough for two wives. Enough to feed our offspring and our offspring’s offspring.

Lucifer: He fits right in. Is it me, or is your plan going down in flames?

Pierce: It’ll work.

Charlotte: Well, as impressive as your flock sounds, let’s get back to the deal. The terms are simple. You share all the information you have on the Bolivian cartel in exchange for immunity.

Chloe: And the full protection of the LAPD.

Able: Yes, to whatever those words mean. Now, let’s discuss who is going to lay with me first.

Charlotte: Uh, don’t you want to read the terms of the deal, at least?

Able: What for? I’ve been told you’re very wise. I trust you.

Charlotte: Just like that? You’re going to let us drive this, just completely give up control?

Able: Mm-hmm.

Charlotte: Doesn’t that scare you?

Able: Not nearly as much as the place I just escaped. I would do anything to avoid returning to that Hell. If you’d been there, you would do the same.

(This makes Charlotte pause and think about her earlier session with Dr. Linda.)

Chloe: Charlotte.

Charlotte: Yes, sorry, we’re good.

Chloe: Great. Great. Okay, Bree?

Able: Mm-hmm.

Chloe: Come on, you’re coming with me.

Able: (Sharp inhale) Mm, you smell good.

Lucifer: Well so much for her being released into your custody.

Pierce: We can’t let him spend too much time with Decker. She’ll figure out something’s going on.

Lucifer: (Sighs) Let me see what I can do.

(Amenadiel enters without knocking. He thinks he is seeing Bree/Able sitting at the kitchen counter.)

Amenadiel: It’s time for you to go home, Abel. It wasn’t easy for me to track you down, but you’re not getting away from me this time.

(When he walks around the kitchen counter he can see it is a dummy dressed in a wig that makes it look like Bree.)

Amenadiel: What the…

Maze: Meet my punching bag. Look familiar?

Amenadiel: Mazikeen. What are you doing here?

Maze: What does it look like? Keeping you out of Lucifer’s way.

(Maze attacks Amenadiel. Shouts)

Amenadiel: I don’t want to fight you, Mazikeen.

Maze: Who cares what you want?

(Maze kicks and beats on Amenadiel who defends himself.)

(Chloe, Lucifer, and Bree/Able walk in.)

Dan: So you worked here for two years, it’s still not ringing a bell?

Able: No, but your backside is ringing a…

Lucifer: Oh, you poor, forgetful thing. Thankfully, all we need is your fingerprint.

Able: Well, my finger goes wherever the lady tells me it goes.

Chloe: (Her cell phone rings. She answers.) Hey, Dan. Did you have any luck finding Bree’s phone?

Dan: No. Because guess who collected her stuff from the hospital? Alexa.

Chloe: That’s odd.

Dan: Yeah, right? So, I dug deeper. Looked into her Pilates alibi. Get this… her class is actually in the morning. She rescheduled that day for 2:00 p.m. exactly. It’s like she knew to be out of the office.

Chloe: She knew the b*mb was coming.

Lucifer: Who knew?

Chloe: Alexa.

Lucifer: What, and the Bolivians warned her? Why? Put it on speakerphone.

Chloe: (Sighs) Okay, maybe the Bolivians were working with Alexa, not Bree. Maybe Bree found out what they were up to and wanted to blow the whistle.

Dan: Well, that would explain those incoming wires in Bree’s account. Cartel tried to pay her off, silence her.

Chloe: And when the nice way didn’t work, they tried the not-so-nice way.

Lucifer: Well, hopefully the proof is behind drawer number one, so…

(As Dan and Chloe talk, Lucifer instructs Able how to put his thumb in the slot to open the biometric lock.)

Dan: Wait a minute. Why would Alexa send us straight to the place where we’d find proof of her crimes? Makes no sense. Chloe: Unless… it’s a trap.

Chloe: Bree, wait!

(Chloe is too late. Able puts his thumb in the lock. It clicks, beeps, and the drawer opens revealing a b*mb inside. Chloe holds Able’s thumb in the slot.)

Chloe: Don’t move.

(Dan and Pierce are at the police station talking to Chloe and Lucifer on speakerphone.)

Dan: Alexa knew Bree would need proof to turn her in, so she must have rigged the file cabinet that contained it. We walked right into her trap. If they move, the whole thing blows.

Pierce: (yells to officers) Call the b*mb squad.

Pierce: Decker, you need to get out of there, stat.

Chloe: I’m not going anywhere, Lieutenant.

Lucifer: What do you mean, you’re not going anywhere?

Pierce: You need to get out of there, now.

Chloe: (calmly, to Able) Don’t worry, I’m staying right here.

Able: Oh, woman, your loyalty touches me.

Pierce: What happened to “You’re the lieutenant, you call the shots”?

Chloe: There is an innocent victim glued to a b*mb.

Lucifer: “Innocent victim” is highly debatable.

Chloe: Lucifer, Bree was trying to do the right thing. It’s why the Bolivians and Alexa want her dead. I’m not leaving.

Abel: Oh, my flock is your flock, this I swear.

Pierce: Okay.

Lucifer: No, no, no, o-opposite of okay.

Pierce: If you’re gonna stay, Decker, I can talk you through defusing it. It’s safer than waiting for it to blow up before the b*mb squad gets there…

Dan: Wait a minute. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chloe, Chloe, think about this, okay? Think about Trixie.

Chloe: I am thinking about her. And I’m also thinking that Bree’s a daughter, too.

Dan: Oh, come on.

Chloe: So… (Sighs) what do I do now? What, cut all these wires willy-nilly?

Pierce: Damn movies. No. You have to get into the box and disconnect the trigger. And, very carefully, remove the blasting cap.

Lucifer: Ugh, this is madness.

Pierce: Then toss it as far as possible.

Lucifer: Oh, you want her to toss an expl*sive, that sounds safe.

Pierce: If the cap goes off away from the charge, it’ll be harmless.

Lucifer: Lieutenant! I understand why your priority is to save your… this young woman, but I will not let you endanger the detective’s life in the process.

Chloe: He’s not endangering my life. I am choosing to be here, and if you’re not gonna help, you should probably just leave.

Lucifer: Well, we both know I’m not gonna do that. I’m your partner.

Chloe: Okay, good. Then listen to me… I’m gonna need both my hands, so please come help me. Okay? Hold this.

(Lucifer takes Chloe’s place holding Able’s thumb in the lock.)

Chloe: I’ll use this, and, uh… All right. (b*mb beeping) (Quietly)

Lucifer: Easy…

Chloe: Got the blasting cap. And…

(Chloe pulls the cap and throws it across the room where it explodes in a small puff of smoke.)

Chloe: Okay. I think that means you can take your thumb off now.

(Lucifer lets go. Able removes his thumb. Lock beeps. Nothing happens.)

Lucifer: All right. (to Able) And don’t tell us where you want to put it next.

(Maze and Amenadiel Are Still Fighting)

Maze: Up your butt! (Panting) That’s where I want to shove this. And then, I’ll press the button.

Amenadiel: I don’t even understand why you’re so angry. So what if Linda and I got together? You dumped me. Remember?

Maze: No, it’s not about that. Okay? It’s about the betrayal. The dirty… sneaky… lies!

Amenadiel: When will you understand that we were trying to protect you?

Maze: And when will you understand I don’t believe you?

Amenadiel: (Sighs) All right. Fine.

(Amenadiel motions her to come at him again. She does but Amenadiel does not defend himself. He just lets her beat on him. Both panting)

Maze: Well, come on! Come on! It’s no fun if you just stand there!

Amenadiel: It’s about as much fun as watching you break Linda’s heart, I’d say.

Maze: (Yells. Starts to throw a punch at his face and then stops with her fist just inches from it.) (Grunts) Even this, you had to ruin.

(Maze hits Amenadiel in the shoulder as she walks past him and out of the house. Door opens, closes)

(Police radio chatter. Yellow crime scene tape is up.)

Chloe: (just getting off phone call) Okay, thank you. (to Lucifer) Hi. So, we were able to lift one of Alexa’s prints from the expl*sive.

Lucifer: Oh, good. Sounds like enough to arrest her for m*rder.

Chloe: And get her to flip on the Bolivians. Apparently, she was using her movies to launder money for the cartel. And that’s what Bree was trying to expose.

Lucifer: Shame. I mean, I had the perfect title for The Plunge 2. 2 Deep 2 Plunge. With the number two, each time, instead of… the word.

Chloe: Instead of the word. Yeah, I get it. It’s funny.

Lucifer: Yeah.

Chloe: Yeah. So… (Clears throat) I just wanted to say thank you, again. I couldn’t have done it without you. Night.

(Chloe walks away.)

Lucifer: (to himself) Without me… you wouldn’t have been in danger in the first place.

(Charlotte is sitting on the couch in front of Dr. Linda.)

Charlotte: I’m sorry about last time. I’m a bit of a control freak.

Dr. Linda: Ah. Really? I hadn’t noticed.

Charlotte: (Chuckles softly)

Dr. Linda: So, what’s changed?

Charlotte: Well, I realized that you’re right, you’re the expert. And I should trust you. And as scary as that is… (Sighs) there’s something much scarier. I, um, I wake up… smell coffee. It’s nice. I have breakfast with my family. Uh, we’re happy. (Chuckles) At peace. And then, a man walks in and shoots each of them. Dead. And I know this man because he’s somebody that I represented, and I know that he should be in jail, but he’s not. Because of me. I just smile, while my family is k*lled. I don’t move a muscle. (Shuddering breath) Because I’m the reason that it’s happening. I’m the reason that he’s free. And then, I wake up. It’s a new morning. I smell the same coffee. Pour the same cereal. And then, someone else walks in, and shoots my family. This time, it’s a different person. Someone else I set free. And I just… smile again. And I die inside again. Over and over, and… I don’t know what it’ll take to stay out of that place. I’m trying my best. But I don’t know if it’ll be enough.

Dr. Linda: Well, it’s a very brave start.

(Pierce/Cain and Bree/Able talk.)

Able: Thank you for saving my life, Cain. I suppose we’re even now.

Pierce: (Holding up his shirt sleeve) (Sighs) Yet, this is still there.

Able: Hmm. This whole time, you’ve been in a kind of Hell, too. You still are. I’m sorry.

Pierce: I’m sorry, too, brother.

(Pierce holds out his hand. Able does not take it.)

Able: (Exhales) Your face is still the face of my torturer.

Pierce: Fair enough. I guess we still need some space.

Able: That, we can agree on. (He walks away.)

Lucifer: Ah, that was quite civil, actually. I know I promised to help you end your curse, but I’m afraid we need to dissolve our unholy alliance.

Pierce: Why?

Lucifer: The risk is too great. I mean, I don’t mind putting myself in danger, but the detective? If she had died, it would have been my fault.

Pierce: But you’re the Devil, you always keep your word.

Lucifer: I do. So I hope you understand how difficult a decision this was. And yet, oddly, the easiest I’ve ever made.

Pierce: Well, I’m not done. Abel’s how my curse started, he’s got to be the way it ends. As long as he’s alive, I still have hope.

(Able crosses the street and walks in front of another cab. Tires screech and stop just short of Able.)

(Seeing this Pierce sighs and Lucifer chuckles.)

(Able continues to cross the other lane of the street. Siren wail. An ambulance hits Able, killing him.)

Pierce: No!