S3 Ep17: Let Pinhead Sing!

(Upbeat dance music intro plays, crowd cheering. Singer, Axara, is backstage getting ready to perform. An aid brings her a white mask to wear.).

Axara: (Sighs) I’ll put it on.

Anouncer: Ladies and gentlemen, Axara!

(A fireworks rocket explodes from the back of the auditorium and hits the singer midsection and kills her. Audience gasping. From backstage, the real Axara runs on stage.)

Axara: Oh, my God, Jill? Jill?

Man: Stay back! Everyone, stay back!

Axara: Jill? Oh, Jill. Jill? Help me! Someone help! Somebody help!

(Crying)

(Lucifer is having a session with Dr. Linda.)

Lucifer: I’ve decided to take myself out of the spotlight. My Father’s spotlight, to be exact.

Dr. Linda: So, no more k*lling Pierce to get back at your dad?

Lucifer: Correct. I mean, that whole “mark of Kane” thing was so dreary, so nihilistic. There are far better ways to spend my time.

Dr. Linda: Oh?

Lucifer: Yes. Well, I could brew my own artisanal beer. Take a nude painting class. Buy that pet shark I’ve always wanted.

Dr. Linda: Maybe you’re taking a step back because of the b*mb scare that threatened both you… and Chloe.

Lucifer: Don’t be ridiculous. We’re in the line of fire every day, Doctor. I mean, it’s all part of being heroes for the people.

Dr. Linda: Don’t get me wrong. If the b*mb was God targeting Chloe for your defiance, then maybe it’s good that you’re quitting.

Lucifer: (clears throat) Well, quitting is a strong word.

Dr. Linda: I’m just saying, sometimes we push boundaries we shouldn’t and cause rifts with people we care about. It’s only fair we take our share of responsibility in a conflict, even if the other is… somewhat irrational, demonic, even.

Lucifer: Indeed. Nothing wrong with dousing the flames of contention.

Dr. Linda: Exactly.

Lucifer: Right.

Dr. Linda: Maybe even apologize.

Lucifer: Well, let’s not go crazy. But perhaps I can stop poking the bear that is my Father. Get off his radar for a bit, you know?

Dr. Linda: Mellow out. (grunts softly)

(Pierce is strumming a guitar and in a raspy voice is singing “Dust In The Wind” by Kansas.)

(Ella comes into his office. Pierce stops playing.)

Pierce: What do you want, Lopez?

Ella: You know, I just noticed that you may be a little blue. So… Ta-da! To cheer you up. No, it’s not new kicks. It’s better. It’s… a compliment box. I went around the precinct and asked everyone to write a positive little note about you.

Pierce: Why?

Ella: So… that whenever you’re feeling down, you can just pull one out, and it’ll perk you right up. Like, maybe now would be a good time. (Clears throat) “Pierce has nice arms.” Well, agreed. You sure do. “The lieutenant has really great arms.” Right again. Two arms, two compliments. “Pierce… is… (Ella realizes the one she doesn’t want to read and starts ad-libbing.) wicked smart, so funny, generous and amazing.” Now that is a compliment.

Pierce: It says I have really nice arms, doesn’t it?

Ella: Nah, nah, ’cause that’d be really awkward and weird, you and me here talking about a third arm. And, um, I need to go check on a lab thingy.

(Ella quickly leaves Pierce’s office and runs into Dan just outside the door.)

Dan: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Ella: I’ve been trying so hard to cheer up Pierce, but this is some next level bro-wallow. You got to get in there and do something.

Dan: Yeah. I don’t know.

Ella: What? Why not?

Dan: Well, it’s just… (sigh) Pierce isn’t really a fan of me.

Ella: Well, then this is your chance to change that. I mean, Dan, if anyone knows what it feels like to be in the crapper, it’s you.

Dan: Thank you. (He tries to leave.)

Ella: No. What I mean is you can relate, okay? But when you’re down, you always, always pull yourself back up. You are positive dude numero uno.

Dan: Okay. I guess I could try.

Ella: Good luck. You got this.

Dan: Hmm.

(Pierce is still singing Dust In The Wind off-key.)

(Chloe is interviewing witnesses to the murder. They are standing on the stage where it happened.)

Chloe: Okay, I’m a little confused here. One of the backup dancers was dressed as Axara?

(The witnesses all start talking at the same time.)

Rohan: Yeah. I don’t really understand it, either.

Woman 1: Yeah.

Rohan: It normally doesn’t happen like that.

Woman 2: I think she was looking to get…

Chloe: Okay, but you’re the manager, correct?

Rohan: Rohan Donahue, yeah. So, here’s the deal. Axara and a backup dancer, Jill, decided to switch positions last minute. Maybe she felt the act was getting boring. You’ll have to ask Axara for details.

Woman 1: We got her back to the hotel as fast as possible.

Chloe: So was this the first time she had switched?

Rohan: Yeah, she didn’t say anything to anyone on the crew. Except for Jill, of course.

Woman 1: And no one knew, that means Axara was the intended target.

Chloe: Let’s not jump to any conclusions until we’ve explored all the angles.

Rohan: We don’t know if anyone was a target. Maybe it was an accident.

Ella: It wasn’t. This is a piece of big-time professional firework. From far away: “Ooh!” From up close: “Ah!” Fireworks weren’t even part of Axara’s show. Let alone pointed right at the spotlight.

Cece: Does this mean we’re canceling the Asia and the Europe tours?

Rohan: Let’s not panic until we know exactly what happened here.

Cece: Jill’s dead, Rohan. And it was supposed to be Axara.

Lucifer: Yes, which means the shadowy assassin would likely try again. And again, until the butchery is done. Statistically speaking.

Cece: He’s right. Okay. As long as Axara’s in the spotlight, she has a target on her back.

Lucifer: (Quietly) Yes. The spotlight is dangerous. (Chuckling) Who am I kidding? I’m not mellow. I’ll never be able to take myself out of my dad’s spotlight, but… I can take the detective out of mine. And focus on other people.

Chloe: What? What are you talking about?

Lucifer: Nothing. You’ll thank me later.

(Lucifer and Chloe are walking through a hallway with a bodyguard.)

Lucifer: So you’re Axara’s bodyguard, are you? Now, I’ve always had an interest in the personal protection business, Rob.

Bob: Bob.

Lucifer: Bob, right. Is that short for “Robert”?

Bob: No.

Lucifer: Fascinating. Oh, it’s lovely getting to know you like this. (Chuckles) Your hopes, your dreams. Hmm? (Chuckles. Slaps Bob on the shoulder.) Been working out as well.

Chloe: Are you coming?

Lucifer: Uh, no, I’m not really interested in you and what you’re doing. I think I’m just gonna stay here and chat to my new friend, Rob.

Bob: Bob.

Lucifer: Bob. Right. Bob. Big fan of old Bobby here. In fact, if someone were wondering about my list of favorite people, Bob might just be at the top.

Bob: Really?

Lucifer: Oh, most definitely.

(Chloe is annoyed and turns and continues down another hallway, alone.)

Lucifer: (to Bob) We should go upstairs.

(Chloe and Lucifer enter Axara’s room which is filled with smoke.)

Lucifer: (coughing) Thank you, Bobby. (Bob leaves them at the door.) I thought rock stars only got the best weed.

Axara: It’s sage. After what happened to Jill, I’m smudging my space, and my heart.

Chloe: (whispers to Lucifer) And my lungs.

Axara: It actually changes the ionic composition of the air and reduces the body’s stress response to tragic events.

Lucifer: Oh, such compassion from one so young. (Chuckles) Please, tell me more.

Chloe: Can you think of anyone who may have wanted to hurt you?

Cece: (Hands Axara a beverage. Chuckles) You should check Axara’s social media. So many obsessed crazies.

Axara: Love you, Cece. And she makes a mean turmeric smoothie. (Chuckles) Wait, speaking of mean, there was one guy who did kind of threaten me. I mean, I didn’t take it seriously at the time because he’s a bit of a diva, but…

Cece: Patrick.

Axara: Patrick.

Lucifer: And who might Patrick be?

Axara: My ex-backup singer. Really toxic individual. Rohan fired him last week, and like I said, he’s a drama queen. But he said something like, uh, “I hope Axara dies a horrible, painful death.”

Lucifer: Yes. (Remembers he’s trying to keep his distance from Chloe.) Mm, mm. Suppose it might be worth a glance.

(Dr. Linda walks up to the door with a gift-wrapped axe.)

Dr. Linda: (Hesitates before knocking. Exhales) Maze, it’s-it’s me. Linda.

(Maze is inside but does not answer the door.)

Dr. Linda: Come on, Maze, I… (Chuckles) I brought you a gift to, you know, bury the hatchet.

(Maze gets up from the counter where she was sitting, goes to the door, but does not open it.)

Dr. Linda: I don’t want to lose you, Maze. And so, I lost Amenadiel. No man is worth what we have. Please, just hear me out.

(Linda waits a moment then puts the present on the doorstep and walks away. Footfalls leaving.)

(Chloe and Lucifer enter the interrogation room and see two women sitting at the table.)

Chloe: (Sighs) Oh, excuse us, I think we’re in the wrong interrogation room.

Patrick: You’re looking for Patrick Manning?

Chloe: Yes.

Patrick: That’s me, honey.

Lucifer: Wow. I see someone stole some of Axara’s spotlight and fishnets as severance pay.

Patrick: Why am I here?

Donovan: I’ll ask the questions, Patty.

Lucifer: Oh, I always knew Cher was a feisty one.

Donovan: I’m Donovan McCann, Patrick’s lawyer. So, why is he here?

Chloe: We believe that Patrick made an attempt on Axara’s life last night. k*lled a backup dancer by mistake.

Patrick: Say what?

Chloe: We know that you still had the backstage security pass, which means access and motive.

Lucifer: Yes, cold-blooded retaliation for your recent firing.

Patrick: Firing? That’s bananas.

Lucifer: So you’re saying you didn’t try and take Axara out with a bang?

Donovan: Course not.

Patrick: Do I hate her? Yes. It was a b*tch to work for that b*tch… The long hours, never getting credit… But she did not fire me. I quit.

Chloe: That’s not the story her people are telling.

Patrick: I bet. Those sycophants will say anything to protect her fragile ego.

Lucifer: Well, Patrick. Patty. If you didn’t want Axara dead, tell me: what did you desire? (Lucifer uses his power of desire on Patrick.)

Patrick: Uh… to be Axara. But my version. A better version. Which is why I could never want her dead. How could I compete with her if she was kaput?

Lucifer: Yes.

Chloe: Where were you last night?

Patrick: On stage. Performing my act at the Hideaway in WeHo.

Donovan: After which, she was mobbed by fans in the parking lot. Tuesday’s the new Friday now that Patty’s doing Axara. Mm-hmm. Ask around.

Patrick: (Chuckles) Aw, so sweet. Donovan was right about last night. It was cray-cray at the Hideaway. Everyone wants a piece of Axara 2.0. (Scoffs) You wouldn’t believe the obsessive wannabes.

Donovan: It’s sad.

Patrick: Sad.

(Ella is showing Chloe and Lucifer social media posts about Axara on a big screen.)

Ella: Axara has more followers than the Pope.

Lucifer: (reading a post) “You are my life, I would do anything to meet you. Literally anything.” Gosh, I can’t think of anyone I care about that much. Except for Miss Lopez. (Lucifer pulls out a custom T-shirt and shows it to Ella.)

Ella: World’s Greatest Forensic Scientist? (Chuckles) Oh, my gosh. That is so sweet. Wait. Did I miss my birthday?

Lucifer: Well, every day’s a celebration when you’re around, darling.

Ella: (throws his a kiss) Mwah!

Lucifer: (He pretends to catch the kiss and put it in his pocket.) (Chuckles)

Chloe: (annoyed) Anyway. When obsessed people don’t have their love reciprocated, sometimes they snap.

Ella: Well, I’ve gone through them all, and on a scale of #ILoveYouAxara to #IWantToLivelnYourSpleen, there’s, like, a zillion suspects.

Lucifer: A zillion and one if you count me.

Chloe: You weren’t even aware of her until this case.

Lucifer: (Scoffs)

Chloe: Okay, name your favorite song.

Lucifer: Well, um, there’s so many.

Chloe: Anyway, we’re not just looking for a crazy fan, we need someone who had an all-access pass.

Ella: Well, Axara’s assistant let me check out all of her social media accounts.

Chloe: Mm-hmm.

Ella: And apparently, she held an online contest last week. Winner won a VIP pass to the Hollywood Bowl show. Meet our winner: Benny Parker. And these are some of his tweets.

Chloe: “I can’t wait for our love to be real.” “I wil make you feel the same way.” “You and I will be together forever.” That’s subtle.

Lucifer: Sounds like Prince Charming needs some attention from the LAPD. (inhales) Right. (He walks out of the room without Chloe.) Thank you, Miss Lopez.

Ella: (Holding up the T-shirt for Chloe to see.) I mean…

(Chloe is not amused.)

Lucifer: Oh, no, poor Pauline.

Chloe: Pauline?

Lucifer: My friend who works the intake desk at the precinct. / I’m helping her through a bad breakup. We’ve grown quite close since yesterday.

Chloe: Mm-hmm. Right. I know what you’re doing. Our b*mb scare made you realize just how dangerous this job is. / And that you and I could lose each other. At any time. So you’re focusing on other people, you’re keeping your distance as a way of protecting yourself. And you know what, Lucifer? That’s cool. If you need to “reverse-Oprah” me just to feel less afraid, then by all means, knock yourself out.

Lucifer: (Scoffs) What? I am not afraid. Just realized I’ve been a tad myopic lately. Why not spread the love?

Chloe: Hmm.

Lucifer: I mean, everyone deserves a little Lucifer.

Chloe: How generous of you.

Lucifer: Thank you very much. (He holds an iron gate open then goes through first.) After me. (Clears throat)

Chloe: (Frustrated. Inhales deeply and then follows him.)

(At the front door, Chloe knocks on door.)

Chloe: Benny Parker, LAPD.

Lucifer: Seems I’m not the only one ignoring you. Perhaps you’re just not that interesting, Detective.

Chloe: (knocking) Benny?

(She tries the door and finds it unlocked. She enters and in the sunken living room finds Benny lying on the floor, dead, with Axara photos around him.)

Chloe: Benny.

Lucifer: Well, talk about a dead end.

(Ella is reading a letter from inside an evidence bag.)

Ella: “Axara’s art celebrates life. I tarnished it with death. I have no right to stay in her world. I lived for Axara. Now I die for her. Benny.”

Chloe: Wow. I hope that no one ever loves me that much. So, did the M.E. confirm that it’s suicide?

Ella: Still running the autopsy report, but the bottle of sleeping pills found in his hand, half empty.

Chloe: Right and factor in Benny’s VIP pass which means he had access.

Ella: Yeah, it means that Benny had tons of time and opportunity to plant the firework that k*lled Jill. A textbook post-m*rder guilt-driven suicide.

Chloe: A little too textbook if you ask me.

(Lucifer arrives in the lobby at the bottom of the stairs with a transparent box full of merchandise.)

Lucifer: Oh, look what just arrived. Who wants a T-shirt? Here you go. And, oh, one for you.

Woman: Nice.

Lucifer: One for you. (Chuckles) Definitely for you. What you can’t fix, decorate, am I right? Ah! Miss Lopez.

Ella: Aw.

Lucifer: (Chuckles as he puts the box on Chloe’s desk.)

Chloe: What is all this?

Lucifer: Axara swag. Thank you gifts for solving the case. Apparently, she’d have come in person, but she’s busy rehearsing for her rescheduled show at the Bowl.

Ella: Well, technically, the case isn’t closed till we get the final autopsy report.

Chloe: Exactly. And until then, it’s LAPD jurisdiction. Which means no shows.

Lucifer: Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to take it up with the police commissioner ’cause apparently, he and Axara are poker buddies. It’s all be sorted. (Chuckling) Oh, hello. (Chuckles) An Axara bobblehead.

Lucifer: (Chuckles) Who’s deserving of this little, uh… (he looks around the room and sees the janitor.) Ah! My good friend, Mr. Janitor. (gives him a bobble head) That should cheer you up.

(Charlotte is having a session with Dr. Linda, who is doodling an image of the axe she gave Maze on her session notes pad.)

Charlotte: I think you’ll be very proud. I forced myself to speak to a coworker who has terrible breath. It was probably only for a few minutes, but it seemed like a decade. Hello, I’m trying to compliment my… you. (Chuckles) Clearly, something is on your mind. Come on, I’m all ears.

Dr. Linda: I am so sorry. (Chuckles) Um, but you’re paying me to listen, so…

Charlotte: Well, yes. But the whole reason that I’m here is to learn to be less self-centered.

Dr. Linda: Okay, um… Okay, fine. Um, I’m, I’m just having a wee bit of a conflict with a, with a friend of mine.

Charlotte: Conflict? My specialty. (Laughs) (Laughing) Mediating… conflict, I mean. Let me help you.

Dr. Linda: Uh, that’s very nice. It’s a very nice offer, but…

Charlotte: I know. And it feels so strange. It’s… I feel so good, it’s like I’m floating. Although that might… might be the three gimlets I had at lunch. So, yes?

Dr. Linda: Uh…

(Ella rushes up to Chloe sitting at her desk.)

Ella: Oh, my God. Chloe. Okay, so you know how you thought Axara’s superfan’s “suicide” was a little too neatly wrapped up?

Chloe: Mm-hmm.

Ella: You just won the super totally right hunch of the millennia award.

Chloe: So Benny’s not our guy?

Ella: No. Benny died the day before that firework exploded. So Benny is not our k*ller. He’s our first m*rder victim.

Chloe: So Benny’s suicide was staged before the attack at the Bowl.

Ella: Yeah. A frame job to cover up the real k*ller’s tracks which means major pre-meditation.

Chloe: And that Axara’s still in serious danger.

Ella: The k*ller’s still out there.

Chloe: Exactly.

(In the lobby, Lucifer unveils a poster of a female employee of the month.)

Lucifer: This month’s winner is… Pauline. (Laughs) And I think we can all agree that Pauline deserves her place in the spotlight far more than others. So if you’d all like to raise a glass, if you have one, to Pauline.

Ella: (to Chloe) Lucifer knows she’s a temp, right?

Chloe: Yeah, just tell him to meet me in the car.

Ella: Yeah.

Dan: I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I’ve been there. That very stool, actually.

Pierce: Have you, Espinoza?

Dan: You know, talking about it might help. You know, really opening up to someone. I mean, that’s what… that’s what I did. And now everything’s coming up Dan. No, seriously, man, I’m happy. You know, I’m-I’m ready to start dating. Hell, you and I are even friends.

(Pierce gives Dan a look.)

Dan: (Chuckles) Friendlier.

Pierce: (Sighs) I guess I could try.

Dan: Lay it on me. I’m here for you, bro.

Pierce: It’s just life, you know? It’s like this eternal wasteland of meaningless existence, a dark void staring down at you like a beaten dog scrounging on the side of the road, just waiting to get mowed down by the next tsunami of crap.

Dan: Wow. Hmm. Maybe we all are just dust in the wind.

(Axara is lying on a table, face-up, with acupuncture needles in her face.)

Axara: I’m not cancelling my show.

Chloe: Well, it turns out that your troubled fan was framed for Jill’s m*rder. So, with the k*ller still out there, I can’t let you perform tomorrow night.

Axara: Detective, if I hid under a rock every time there was an issue, I’d still be doing bar mitzvahs.

Lucifer: Also, you’d be under a rock. Most unpleasant.

Axara: (rolls her eyes) Okay.

Lucifer: (pulls Chloe aside) Detective. Now, I say we let Pinhead sing. I mean, after all, some people are just destined to be in the spotlight. Others not. Like you, for example.

Chloe: So not helping. You know, maybe you should wait in the car.

Axara: You know what? Maybe you should both go. I assure you, I’m fine.

(g*nshots) (Woman screams) (A Champaign bottle breaks. Chloe throws herself over Axara to protect her.

Lucifer: Detective, what are you doing?! This is… no time for heroics. Not that I care.

Man: Building searched. All clear.

(Lucifer putting his coat around Axara’s shoulders)

Lucifer: You poor, poor dear. Can I get you something? Some tea? More face needles, perhaps?

Axara: Uh, I’m fine, your partner’s actually the one with the medic.

Lucifer: Who? (Lucifer looks to see Chloe being tended to by an EMT.) Oh, her. No, that’s, uh, that’s just a scratch. No, it’s you that I’m focused on. (Chuckles)

Chloe: (getting off a phone call) Okay, great. Thank you. (to Axara) Okay, so I have your security team in place.

Axara: For tomorrow’s show, right? Smart to beef things up.

Chloe: Yeah, I don’t think you understand. There’s no show. While you’re in danger, you’re under 24-hour LAPD protection, led by me.

Axara: That’s ridiculous.

Lucifer: Agreed. She’s a terrible choice. I’ll do it.

Ella: Look what we found in the laundry chute. (Holds up an evidence bag witha g*n in it.) I’m gonna head back to the homestead to expedite ballistics. You want to come?

Lucifer: Excellent plan. Why don’t you [Chloe] go with Miss Lopez, and I will keep you safe, you [Axara] little gem.

Axara: So you’re gonna be my bodyguard? Are you even a real cop?

Lucifer: Consultant, actually. But I can assure you that my penthouse has top-notch security. And every other amenity you could possibly desire.

Axara: Hmm. We’ll see. Come on, girls.

(Axara and her posse leave.)

Lucifer: (Exhales) (Sighs) What a treasure. (Chuckles)

Chloe: Okay, the only reason I’m agreeing to this is hiding Axara at your penthouse is an unpredictable choice. But, listen, if there’s even the slightest hint that she is unsafe, your duties are revoked.

Lucifer: (Scoffs) Right.

Chloe: What?

Lucifer: Just, you said “doodies.”

(Lucifer walks after Axara. Chloe shakes her head and follows him.)

(Axara is singing and dancing on Lucifer’s sofa, rehearsing her show with a man and with help from Bob the bodyguard.)

(Elevator dings. Lucifer enters carrying a paper grocery bag.)

(Lucifer uses a remote to turn off the music. Music stops and so does Axara.)

Lucifer: Bravo, Miss Axara. Yes, I adore your shaky groove thing. And I’m sure my custom Italian leather settee does, too.

Axara: Sorry, I need to rehearse. Right, yes, of course. Of course. Whatever you need. (Chuckles)

Bob: (mouths without saying words) “Help me.”

Lucifer: Right, uh, chaps, why don’t you, um… you wait downstairs. I’ve got this. Thank you, Rob.

Bob: Bob.

Lucifer: Bob. Bob, yes. (Sighs)

(Bob and the other man head to the elevator and leave.)

Lucifer: Now, please tell me, how can I better focus my attention on you?

Axara: Mm… Maybe you can make yourself useful. Unless that’s just a prop. (pointing at the piano)

Lucifer: (Chuckles) Prop? Please. Mozart, Liberace, Elton.

Axara: Who?

Lucifer: All the greats were my pupils. But none as bright as you, of course.

Axara: Whatever. (Clears throat)

Lucifer: Right. (Clears throat) “C.” (Plays note) (Playing scale)

(Plays note) (Playing scale)

(Off-key)

Axara: (Groans)

Lucifer: Voice of an angel.

Axara: God, it would be if your A-flat wasn’t out of tune.

Lucifer: I beg your pardon? Perhaps it’s you who’s… whose perfect pitch allows you to hear what others… (Playing note) .. cannot. Um… Hmm.

Axara: You know what, never mind. I need a break anyway. Goes to the grocery bag on the counter. Is this my smoothie stuff?

Lucifer: Yes. Yes, but, uh, please, allow me to shower you with my culinary expertise. (He starts throwing veggies into a blender directly from the bag.) Right.

Axara: W-Wait, are… No, no, no. Aren’t you gonna wash them first?

Lucifer: And rinse off all the nutrients? Don’t be silly.

Axara: Uh… (Chuckles) Hold on. Wh-Where’s my fresh turmeric? You can’t make it without the right ingredients.

Lucifer: I couldn’t agree more. (He has put more ingredients in the blender, put on the lid and turns it on.)

Axara: Just-just stop. Just let me do it. Please, forget it.

Lucifer: I will…

(He takes the pitcher off the blender base, Axara tries to take it, they each try to put it toward themselves, struggling.)

Axara: You don’t even know what you’re doing.

Lucifer: Do this, Miss Axara!

(The lid comes off and orange liquid goes all over Axara. Gasps)

Axara: You’ve got to be kidding me.

(Axara’s manager Rohan is sitting at the table with Chloe.)

Rohan: Everyone loves Axara. What kind of psycho would want to g*n her down in cold blood like that?

Chloe: It’s you.

Rohan: What?

Chloe: The g*n that we found at the Roosevelt, turns out that it’s registered to you.

Rohan: Oh, this is insane. I mean, that looks like my g*n. I keep it in the tour bus for protection. But someone must’ve stolen it.

Chloe: We also uncovered the insurance policy that you took out on Axara. Apparently, if anything happens to her, you get a huge chunk of change. Is that also insane?

Rohan: First of all, I would die if anything happened to that girl. Secondly, all managers have insurance policies like that. But, trust me, the payout is nothing compared to managing an entire career. Why would I k*ll the goose for one egg?

Chloe: I don’t know. Maybe the goose is a pain in the a*s.

Rohan: Okay. Unless you’ve got something else to say, I’m leaving.

Chloe: I do have something else to say. You’re under arrest for the m*rder of Jill Murray, Benny Parker, and the attempted m*rder of Axara.

Rohan: No! Wait.

(Handcuffs tighten)

(Charlotte is sitting at her desk. Maze and Dr. Linda are facing her in chairs on the other side of the desk.)

Charlotte: We will start by stating our grievances. Who would like to go first?

Maze: (angry) She lied and betrayed me. Next.

Charlotte: Brave start, Mazikeen. And you, Doctor?

Dr. Linda: Well, no grievances. Um, Maze is right. I hid the truth, which was a betrayal of our friendship. And if I could take it all back, I would. But I can’t. So, all I can do is say… I’m sorry. And I miss you, Maze.

(Maze scowls at her.)

Charlotte: Thank you, Doctor. That was really heartfelt. And now is there anything that… you’d like to apologize for, Mazikeen?

Maze: She just said she boned my ex. I didn’t do anything.

Charlotte: Well, it always takes two to tango.

Maze: Yeah, Linda and Amenadiel. (Maze stands, walks to a sofa further back in the room and sits down on it.) One, two, naked tango. Me, screwed.

Charlotte: Resolving conflict means, uh, accepting culpability on both sides. If you don’t let all the icky feelings out, things tend to fester, and turn gangrenous, and, well… nobody likes losing a limb.

Maze: Not true. And I didn’t do crap.

Dr. Linda: She called dibs. On someone she doesn’t even have feelings for.

Maze: I’m a demon, Linda. What do you expect?

Dr. Linda: You can’t admit to a single thing you did wrong?

Maze: I’ve done a lot of things wrong. Like, a lot. But at least I don’t claim to be the good one. Pretend to stand on some moral high ground. You know, despite all the books you’ve read, all the degrees on your wall, you forgot the one rule that matters. Hos before bros.

Dr. Linda: Well, it’s pretty tricky to follow that rule when you seem to have slept with, oh, half of Los Angeles. And yet, you begrudge me the one man I’ve cared about in a really long time. And yet, I still gave him up. That’s how much I care about our friendship.

Maze: Go… to… hell.

(Linda gasps)

Charlotte: Okay. Great start. Um, all part of the process. Good time for a breather?

Dr. Linda: We’re done.

(Dr. Linda walks out.) (Maze knuckles crack.)

Charlotte: (Quietly) Okay.

(Lucifer emerges from the bathroom, getting dressed after a shower. He enters his bedroom to find Axara in silky nightwear lying in a s*xy pose on his bed.)

Lucifer: What on earth do you think you’re doing?

Axara: You. Get naked.

Lucifer: I beg your pardon?

Axara: You said you wanted to focus your attention on me.

Lucifer: (Laughing) Well, yes, but, uh…

Axara: And I always have s*x the night before a show. It… it calms me.

Lucifer: (putting his pants on) Well, I’m sorry, but you’d have to tie me down with steel chains to have s*x with you.

Axara: I’d be up for that.

(She grabs him and easily pulls him onto the bed as he is off-balance having only partly put on his pants.)

Lucifer: No! What… it wasn’t a suggestion!

Axara: Demanding. I like it.

(Lucifer is lying on his back with Axara straddling him.)

Lucifer: Miss Axara.

Axara: Uh-huh?

Lucifer: I love s*x.

Axara: What a coincidence. Me, too.

Lucifer: But, and this may be a first…

Axara: Okay.

Lucifer: I’m really not in the mood.

Axara: Whoo. You know what? I don’t think you like me.

Lucifer: Really? Whatever gave you that impression?

(Pushes her aside and gets off the bed.)

Axara: But… but everybody likes me.

Lucifer: Apart from the person who tried to rocket you into a bloody red glare.

Axara: Okay. If you don’t like me, why were you so hell-bent on being my bodyguard?

Lucifer: (Sighs) Because I’m trying to take my focus off someone very dear to me. But… a friend, actually. Well, no, indeed, more a coworker. Oh.

(They are both now sitting on the edge of the bed.)

Axara: The detective you work with?

Lucifer: How did you…

Axara: I may be a self-centered diva, but I have eyes. Why are you trying to convince yourself that you don’t like her?

Lucifer: I’m not trying to convince my…

(Axara gives him a look.)

Lucifer: It’s not me I’m trying to convince. It’s my Father. I defied Him, and He’s big on that “eye for an eye” sort of thing. So I’m afraid that he’s gonna come after… the things that I care about the most.

Axara: Well, you’re a cop, sort of. Get a restraining order or something.

Lucifer: Well, I’m afraid it’s not that simple. Dad’s all-powerful.

Axara: Works in government?

Lucifer: Mm, rules the universe.

Axara: Frickin’ politicians. Well, hey, if it helps, I know how you feel. After what happened at my show, it seems like everyone’s trying to take away the thing I care about the most.

Lucifer: What? Fresh turmeric?

Axara: (Laughs) Funny. Funny, but no. Music.

Lucifer: Ah.

Axara: But here’s the deal. You can’t let anyone come in between you and the things you’re passionate about in this life. Or it ain’t worth living.

Lucifer: (Chuckles softly) Well. Thank you, my self-centered diva, for your counsel. It’s duly noted.

Axara: (Laughs) Hey, I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink.

Lucifer: Oh, well now you are talking my language.

(Both chuckle)

Lucifer: Long as it’s not orange, right? (Sighs) (Quietly) Right.

(He goes out to his bar, picks a decanter and two large shot glasses and takes them back to the bedroom.)

Lucifer: Lovely. I wasn’t sure if you’re a single malt girl…

(He discovers she is gone.)

Lucifer: Bugger.

Ella: Epic toxicology report. It turns out the manager didn’t just k*ll Benny, he tortured him, too. I mean, it’s bad enough that he made him take all those sleeping pills, but to force him to eat all that stuff, too? I mean, that is just cruel, man.

Chloe: Wait, so what does this mean here?

Ella: Oh, right, sorry, yeah. It’s the chemical compounds. So first, he fed Benny raw turmeric. Hmm. And kale. A lot of kale. And then, a boatload of spirulina.

Chloe: But this all sounds like ingredients for a smoothie.

Ella: Yeah, smoothie of death.

Chloe: No, I mean, the pills. It could’ve been blended into a smoothie like the one that Axara drinks.

Ella: Be a good way to disguise the taste.

Chloe: You know what? I don’t think the manager’s the k*ller.

(Dan and Pierce are still at the bar drinking and bonding.)

Dan: Beard-to-misery quotient. It’s a science, man. After my divorce, I went for the old Walter White. Whatever you do, do not go full Hagrid. Kenny Rogers, tops.

(Dan sees Amenadiel walking down the stairs and waves him over.)

Dan: Oh, hey, uh, a buddy of mine’s here. He’s a real “glass half full” kind of guy. He actually pulled me out of a dark spot once.

Dan: (to Amenadiel) Hey.

(They man-hug. Grunts)

Dan: (with one arm around Amenadiel he says to Pierce) Maybe he can help you out.

Pierce: (dryly) Amenadiel.

Amenadiel: (with disdain) Pierce.

Dan: Or not. Uh, since you guys obviously already know each other, how about I just give you some time to catch up? Hmm? Yeah, I saw a food truck on the way in. I’m just gonna grab myself a burger. Protein style. Something… Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna be back later.

(Dan leaves. Amenadiel moves into the space at the bar next to Pierce.)

Amenadiel: I can’t allow you to defy my father or drag my brother into one of your schemes to remove your mark. This ends now.

Pierce: Okay.

Amenadiel: Really?

Pierce: Yeah. Look, I’m way ahead of you. (Chuckles) I got my hopes up thinking that Decker was the key, and then Lucifer. But that’s what the Sinnerman thought. Then I thought resurrecting Abel could end my curse. But I made a mistake. I was wrong. ‘Cause here I am, alive and well. Well, alive and miserable, actually. So I’m done. Finito. I quit. You happy?

Amenadiel: Yes. Yes, because this means I did it. I destroyed your alliance with Lucifer. I prevented you from defying my father. I passed my test.

Pierce: If you passed your test, why don’t you have your wings back?

Amenadiel: Well, maybe my test has multiple parts. Um, if so, that’s okay. It’s God’s will. Right?

Pierce: How do you do that? How do you stay so positive?

Amenadiel: It’s called faith, Pierce.

Pierce: (Chuckles)

Amenadiel: See, I spent a lot of time doubting myself, but now I realize that it’s about the journey, not the destination.

Pierce: How could you possibly have any faith or hope when you’re in a loop of endless suffering?

(Axara is playing the piano for the crowd.)

(Lucifer comes down from his penthouse to see Axara down on the floor performing. He rushes down to stop/protect her.)

Lucifer: Bloody hell.

Dan appears up on the landing holding a food bag.

Dan: (to Lucifer) Isn’t she supposed to be on lockdown?

Lucifer: Uh…

Dan: I’m calling Chloe.

Lucifer: No! /No, I mean, no need to get the detective involved. I’ve got this.

(Axara takes the microphone, stands, and keeps singing. Lucifer is now down on the floor so she starts to sing to him. He looks a little embarrassed at first.)

Lucifer: Go back upstairs. You’re in danger. Give me the microphone. Give me the microphone. Go on, now, go.

Axara: Give me the microphone.

(Audience cheering)

Axara: (Sighs) See? How could I ever leave this? No one’s ever gonna scare me out of the spotlight. Ever.

Lucifer: Yeah? Try me. Come on.

Axara: (Scoffs)

Cece: You.

(Cece is now on the floor holding a knife in a threatening manner)

Cece: You were supposed to keep her safe.

Lucifer: No offense, darling, but you’re the one with a knife.

Axara: What’s with the knife, Cece? You’re gonna hurt someone.

Cece: Does it even matter? Two people are dead, you were shot at, and you still won’t stop. Don’t you see the danger you’re in?

Axara: Again, am I the only one who sees the irony here?

Cece: You said you would take a break after the L.A. shows and then you added Asia and Europe to the tour. That’s two more years.

Axara: So?

Cece: So?! That’s two more years now. And then another two and another two. When does it end?

Axara: Never. Hopefully.

Cece: I am tired of sharing you, Axara. Remember high school? Before all of this. It was just you and me, singing along to Beyoncé. Well, you would sing, I-I would just watch and eat cookie dough. I want that. You have to know by now. I love you.

Axara: Love me? Oh, my God, Cece, what did you do?

Lucifer: She was trying to protect you. Force you out of the spotlight by any means necessary. Even m*rder?

Cece: I-I didn’t know what else to do.

Axara: You almost k*lled me. How is that protecting me?

(Chloe arrives with her g*n drawn.)

Chloe: She was never trying to k*ll you.

Lucifer: (to himself) Oh, what is she doing here? (He knows he is not invincible when Chloe is around.)

Chloe: Cece ran your social media. It was easy for her to start an account as you and access all of your private texts.

Axara: So you knew about the choreography switch.

Cece: I just wanted to scare you.

Axara: I’m never gonna stop singing, Cece.

Cece: Not even for me?

Axara: My music means more to me than anything. You have to know that by now.

(Pierce has arrived and stands at the top of the stairs, watching.)

Chloe: Drop the knife, Cece, it’s over.

Cece: (Sobbing) No. No!

(Cece turns and tries to stab Chloe. Lucifer tackles Cece.)

Lucifer: No!

(Audience gasps, screams)

Cece: (Laying on her back on the floor where Lucifer tackled her.) I just wanted her to be safe.

Lucifer: I know you did.

(Lucifer stands as Dan takes Cece into custody and handcuffs her.)

Chloe: (to Lucifer) Well, who’s the heroic one, now?

Lucifer: (Chuckles, turns and looks at Chloe who now has a very concerned look on her face.) What?

Chloe: Oh, my God. Lucifer, are you okay?

Lucifer: Why wouldn’t I be okay? (He looks and now sees that the knife is sticking out of his shoulder.) Oh.

Chloe: Oh, God, whatever you do, don’t pull it…

Lucifer: (Grunts as he pulls out the knife.)

Chloe: out!

Lucifer: (Chuckles weakly) Oops. (Grunts)

(Up on the top of the stairs, Amenadiel has joined Pierce.)

Chloe: What were you thinking, tackling somebody with a knife?

Lucifer: It’s not me I was worried about, Detective.

(She holds a napkin to his wound. He tenderly puts his hand over hers.)

Chloe: Lucifer.

Amenadiel: (to Pierce) You see, it’s like I was saying, Pierce. You got to have faith because life can surprise you. Now, if my brother, the Devil, can have that…

Pierce: (Sighs) Maybe I can, too.

(Lucifer uses more napkins to try to stop the bleeding.)

Lucifer: God.

(Pierce walks down the stairs. Dan talks to him, but Pierce just walks by.)

Dan: Hey, look at you, buddy. Seems like someone’s feeling better. Okay.

(Chloe is working at her desk. Pierce walks up and stand in front of it to talk to her.)

Pierce: Hi.

Chloe: Lieutenant.

Pierce: Congratulations on another solve.

Chloe: Thank you. Thanks, I appreciate that. I’m just glad Axara’s okay. Well, I guess more than okay. Her show’s back on for the night and she sent me two VIP tickets to say thank you.

Pierce: Well, you deserve them. So, who are you taking?

Chloe: Oh, I don’t know. It’s just…

Pierce: I thought you’d never ask.

Chloe: Oh. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, why not?

Pierce: Great, I’ll see you later.

Chloe: Okay.

(Pierce quickly leaves. Moments later, Lucifer arrives with his arm in a sling.)

Lucifer: Morning, Detective. What?

Chloe: You sure you don’t want to throw a surprise party for the guy in evidence lockup?

Lucifer: (Chuckles) Ah, right, yes, I suppose I deserve that. No, no, I am back to status quo.

Chloe: Hmm.

Lucifer: Since I realized, ultimately, I can’t control you or the world around you, for that matter. So there’s no point trying to extinguish the proverbial spotlight, is there? I may just have to take a knife to the chest every now and then. (Chuckles)

Chloe: Right.

Lucifer: Hello. (Lucifer sees the concert ticket on Chloe’s desk.) Tickets for Axara’s show. Tonight? Excellent. Right, what time shall I pick you up?

Chloe: Um… Well… it didn’t seem like you were that interested in hanging out with me lately, so Pierce and I are gonna go together.

Lucifer: Oh. Right, yeah, of course. (Laughing) Of course. Well… have fun. I’ve heard she’s amazing live.

(Lucifer turns and leaves.)

Chloe: Uh…

(Soft piano playing. Axara scatting.)

(As we hear Axara sing, we see Lucifer sitting in shadows watching Chloe at her desk.)

(Lucifer is watching as Pierce joins Chloe at her desk.)

(Chloe and Pierce leave together. Lucifer looks heartbroken.)

(We now see Maze at home. She has unwrapped Dr. Linda’s gift axe. She breaks the handle over one knee and the piece drop to the floor.)

(Now we see Lucifer has gone to Dr. Linda’s office. He walks in and just looks at her. He’s lost and sad.)

Lucifer: I think I’ve made a horrible mistake.